[Q&A] How to know if a Korean guy likes you?

Having Korean boyfriend has given me a much better insight into Korean culture and customs. I know how to tell Korean age, I know why Korean chopsticks are made of metal, I know there is no such thing as “Sea of Japan”, How to tell if Korean guy likes you - East Sea vs Sea of JapanI know how to address Koreans of different age, I know to handle everything with both hands…

What I don’t know is how to read Korean men’s minds (a pity). I am a bit closer to it with Kimchi Man, but not much.

All the Korean men I have met have been very different and diverse. So has their attitude towards relationships. Some are going to tell you they love you even before they know the color of your eyes, others will not be vocal about their feelings even when they are ready to die for you.

For everyone who is wondering what is the secret to understanding a Korean man’s heart: There is none.

You don’t need to worry that they are sending some secret Korean signal which you are not picking up. Culture has a hard time influencing something as personal and fundamental as love.

How to know if Korean guy likes you - Oppa do you like me 오빠 나 좋아해?That being said, I completely understand what it is like falling in love and having no idea if object of your adoration feels the same way. I was there.  We all want to know for sure if we are happily in love or rushing towards heartbreak. That’s why I am going to do my best to help the two women who asked the questions bellow. I just want to make sure everyone understands I would be no more or less qualified to answer those questions even if I had never met a Korean guy in my life.

And if you know a Korean guy, a Korean guy you like, and you don’t know, if this Korean guy you like, likes you back – forget that he’s Korean.

That might just be the thing you need to truly see what he is trying to tell you.

You might also like:

How to know if a Korean guy likes you Does a Korean guy like me how to tell if a Korean guy is into me
Will a Korean guy be attracted to me? How does a Korean guy court girls? Will my Korean man marry me?

Anonymous asked:

I am in love with a Korean guy, we go to the same university and we met when we took the same class about a year ago. I am 19 and he is 21.

I always feel and act very shy, when I am around a person I really like. When there is no him, I am very funny, communicative and totally normal.

 I am not Korean (still Asian), and I don’t speak Korean.

The problem is that…He is not a shy one at all, at least he seems to be so. Sometimes when we meet at some university events, we talk, and he seems to like me as a girl, but we never text/chat after that. I mean, we talk only when we see each other. That’s why talking to him is a very rare occasion, because we meet rarely.

 The first time I saw him this year after a long period of time, was another university event, he sent an invitation to me on Facebook, which I don’t think was something special or anything, but I decided to go there still. On the day when he sent the invitation, our eyes met at a cafe, when I was walking past him, but I was with my girl friend and he was with a girl friend as well, so I thought: ”Alright, I haven’t seen you for ages, why say Hi then, you probably don’t even remember me”. He didn’t wave hi to me either. So yeah, then BOOM I got that invitation, and I decided to go. Cause I thought that accidental meeting had something to do with the invitation.

When I just got there, he came up first saying ”Ooh, it’s been a long time” and hugged me, which was a bit weird, because we are not that close friends at all, till that time, we probably had a talk for a couple of times, not more. I mean, I’m not that kind of friend of his, who he could miss. We were never close at all. But I think at the moment when he hugged me, I clearly understood that I liked him a lot. I knew I liked him before, but I thought it was not serious.

I met him the second time about a couple days ago at a university event as well. There were very few people there, but he took the time to come up to me and talk and I tried to act as normal and funny as I could, but I was burning inside and shaking and all that… in the end he said that he’d like to attend an event of mine (I’m the president of a student group) so I promised to send him an invitation.

Everything seems to be okay, but I don’t understand, why he is so passive, if he likes me. Does it mean, that he doesn’t like me as a girl, but just being friendly? He never sends me messages or anything like that… I am hesitating to message him, cause I’m afraid I would never get a reply…and I think that a guy must make the first moves. And if he doesn’t, then it means he’s not interested, in my opinion. I would understand, if he was a shy one, but… as i said before he’s not. He’s very friendly and communication is not a problem for him.

And the second problem is that I don’t know for sure if he has a girlfriend or not. However, the Facebook status says Single otherwise, the last thing I would want to do is ruin a relationship…

Also, I thought about the problem, that I am not Korean, and I thought about the possibility, that he is not interested in me as a girl, because I’m not Korean.

Also, I think it’s worth mentioning that he’s kind of Americanized Korean. He has been living in the USA for about 5 years I believe. But he almost always hangs out with Korean friends.

anyways..please heeeeeeelp

               I don’t think that the guy has to make the first move. Why would he? Maybe he is shy when it comes to asking girls out, maybe he is passive, maybe he sees you only as a friend, maybe he already has a girlfriend… You could go all day long guessing “maybes” if you don’t do something about it.

Even if he sees you just as a friend, making the first move might make him see you in a different light.

It’s never easy being rejected but Facebook and text messaging have certainly made it a lot easier than it used to be. You don’t need to pour your heart out to him, just ask him: “Do you want to go out for a coffee/movie/walk”. If he says yes, there is a very good chance he likes you as a girl :)

I have no idea if he has a girlfriend or if he is a national chauvinist. Since he is human, both are possible.  Koreans I know have no problem dating someone who is not Korean, and in my case not even Asian. Many questions we got on this site are from Asian non-Korean women who are dating a Korean man, so obviously not all Koreans have a problem with it.

And why wouldn’t you want to ruin his relationship? You are 19, and 21! It’s not like he is married with children and you are tearing apart a family. If you asking him out is enough to ruin his relationship then that relationship deserves to be ruined. I was in a relationship when I met Kimchi Man and I am much happier now. On the other hand, no matter who come to my doorstep now, no one can take me away from Kimchi Man.

You should know that if I didn’t make the first move, Kimchi Man would never dare do it himself (maybe not never but my guess is it would take him 10 years or so ^^). And he was very interested in me. If you keep thinking a girl shouldn’t make the first move, another one will come along who thinks differently and snatch this guy right under your nose.

Ching asked:


I’m half Chinese half Filipino girl but my family and I moved to Phil for good when I was still young.. I am now 22 years old, and I met this Korean guy last year almost 9 months ago.. well, I just really feel so alone about this so I hope you can help me out.. here’s my story..

 9 months ago July 2011 to be exact I applied in a Korean school in our city, I was accepted and first week in school I had only 2 students and one of the two was the guy I fell in love with. At that time I was 21 and he’s 25 I think. At first I dont really feel anything for him, just the teacher-student relationship. I also noticed he was this shy type of guy, first 2 weeks with him he barely talked. But after about 4 weeks we just got close and I dunno how it happened. But after that he started teasing me everytime we see each other in the hallway, he’s calling me vampire and i’m calling him werewolf. A lot of teasing and all. And then one time during class he asked me who I like then I told him I like Lee Seung Gi [korean actor] then he repeated that question again and I answered him same answer I gave him before then after than he start acting like his heart is in pain [physically] at first I dunno what does that action means but my friend told me he might be hurt that it wasnt him that I like and so he started acting that in a joke way so it wont be obvious.. then he also asked if I do have a boyfriend that time and I said no and he told me that I must get a boyfriend, and I also mentioned to him that I have a curfew around 7pm and he told me that my boyfriend might want to be with me more than my curfew time.. what does that mean??

 and sometimes he’ll notice what I’m wearing like last time when I was wearing a coat and I just passed by him he really asked me isnt your coat thick? dont u feel hot? and one time when I had a new student and he’s kinda good looking and almost same age with me, he started asking questions like, So are you happy that the good looking new student is in your class?… who’s better me or him? – those kind of questions and I dunno why he’s asking me like that..

 and one of my friend in that school was also his tutor.. so whenever he’ll have class with that friend of mine he would usually asked her to call me and let me go inside their room while they’re having class and it happened many times, i was just there listening to their conversation and whenever I decided to move out the room he would usually stop me and say Vampire where are you going? just stay here.

 or sometimes when we meet each other in the hallway he would blocked my way and wont let me pass and he’d tell me Touch me first before I let you pass.. and you know this kind of actions he’s showing me made me fell for him I think.. fell harder that I dont even know how to get out of this situation..

 and during his birthday I gave him a not Happy Birthday Werewolf! and he took a picture of it and upload it in his fb..

 he also challenged me one time to play snake and ladder with him and he told me if he wins I wont give him assignments for 1 week and if i win he wont complain even if I give him assignments everyday.. its the first time that I have ever played that game and it was with him, so I treasure it a lot (:

 what do you think his actions mean?? does it mean something? does he like me?

 ah, a day after his birthday he informed all his tutors that he will be absent for the whole day because last night he got drunk and hangover the next morning.. so I was expecting that he’ll also be absent in my class but I was surprised when he entered my room that day.. so I asked him Why are u here? I thought you’d be absent the whole day and he said I was thinking that if I wont come here you’ll be alone here. I was so touched when he told me that but ofcourse I act as if its nothing… and then 1 week after that he was removed in my class and so I started to feel like I was left hanging, a lot of questions are running into my head.. my friends were telling me that he must be afraid that he’d fall for me and so on…

 what I did was I tried to talk to him again, initiate the conversation first but I can feel this change like it’s not the way it was back before.. we dont talk that much anymore unlike before when he was still in my class.. we passed by each other in the hallway without even saying hi.. I asked him he doesnt talked to me anymore, he said He was shy. I tried everything to gain back the friendship we once had the closeness we once had… but I think I falied or maybe I didnt try harder? I was asking myself What should I do? but later on I just stopped trying to talk to him just trying to accept that maybe it wasnt meant to be.. September that year we stopped talking, offcially. February this year he went back to korea without talking to me. He had my number. This march a friend of mine who is also his friend told me that he has a kakaotalk so why not try to add him. So I added him and again I have to initiate the talking.. we talked and he told me he misses me but overjoyed about his message i wasnt able to reply to him right away and then he sent me a message again saying he was just kidding with the ‘haha’ … what does that mean???! I hate him but still I believe he meant it when he told me he misses me.. what do u think? Now, I decided to just stop talking to him stop initiating just to talk to him cause its always me who texts first maybe he really doesnt care at all so why would I waste my time with him…

 please help me what to do is my decision right?

 I badly need your opinion guys.. I hope you can help me out with this..

 sorry I think I wrote too long, its just that if i skipped a few lines u might not be able to get my situation.. kinda a long story (:

 he’s still single until now and he told me before that he once had a girlfriend 4 years ago…

 hoping to get a reply from you soon ^^ thanks ~

I employed help from Kimchi Man on this one. He says guy obviously liked you before but something changed. You can’t know what changed and to obsess about it would just be wasting your time. Since he is in Korea and your interactions are just one-way, you made a good decision.

Your friends are trying to protect your feelings when they say he is just afraid he will fall in love with you. Unless there is some specific obstacle you know – like policy in your school that students and teachers can’t be in a relationship (although now that he’s not in school that argument became moot) –  why would he be afraid of liking you?

Stick to your decision and don’t waste your time on this Korean guy. Maybe he will come around and contact you, but chances are very slim.


Leave your question in the comments below if you still don’t know if Korean guy likes you. :)

Also recommended:

How to tell if a Korean guy likes youHow to get a Korean guy to like you


223 thoughts on “[Q&A] How to know if a Korean guy likes you?

  1. Hi, I don’t know if this blog is still active, but it doesn’t hurt to try. I’m in a very confused situation. I met this korean guy on a penpal site and we started to talk normally and we found out we have many similarities. I was in a serious relationship with another guy, but it was finishing, in fact we broke up few weeks later for other reasons. Now it’s been 3 months since i’m talking with this korean guy and i feel I like him and i’m curious of knowing him more. I told him that i’m interested in him more than a friend, cause we were flirting at that time, and he told me he likes me too. He even sent me a surprise gift and he’s now planning to come here to visit me. We also talked on skype many times, for hours, and we had so much fun together. Sometimes he just called me suddenly without even telling me beforehand. But I don’t really understand if he likes me the same way I do, sometimes I feel he’s uninterested. I think about him very often during the day, and he doesn’t send me messages often, or when he does they are causal messages, like ” what are you doing?” etc…. I know probably it’s stupid to focus on text conversations, but it’s all I have to talk with him. He gives me compliments and teases me, asks me about my work and other things, and he even said he’s excited to come here, that his heart is beating fast and I teased him that I don’t understand why his heart does like that, and he said laughing ” I don’t know too”…. Sometimes I would just like he tells me he likes me directly. Since i’m the one who said it first, i feel like i pulled it out from him. Or maybe he’s just waiting to meet me before giving too much?? What do you think?

    • Jeanny, omg we have a similar situation.. How old are you?? Maybe we can help each other lol. A korean also shook my world 3 months ago thru kakaotalk.. i hope you reply :)

  2. I dont know how to even start this lol..oh well, i met this korean guy back in highschool. He attended the same school i attended several years ago. I was very friendly to him which i think irritated him back then. I never really liked him before. 2 years later, i saw him online and out of boredom, i chatted him, beginning with a “hi, how are you”sort-of-thing. That’s when it all started. Its been 3 months now and i am quite sure i like this guy. Tbh, i still ask myself up to now why i like him. I never really thought i would like a korean this much. I cant seem to focus. I always wait for his reply and gets upset when he doesn’t reply.He makes me feel happy when he says i should go and visit him or when he jokes and teases me. I’ve always wanted to tell him how i feel, but i’m worried it’ll be awkward for the both of us. What should i do??? I regret not telling my bestfriend who died months before that i liked him. I just really dont want to make that freakin’ stupid mistake again. Someone please help me! LOL

  3. Hello,
    My name is J and I am university student. Im 19 and he is 22 . My story is that I just met my Korean guy for 1 week . On 21th of October 2015, I came and sat at lab room in my university (building 1 ) but there are also many lab rooms in my school .(destiny) . i studied so hard and then i realized that i was sitting next to korean guy when he had phone call ( first met ). After he llistening to his fone call and smoking outside , he came back and studied. So the smoking smell made me feel uncomfortable and i covered my nose. Then, i think he realized that so he did something and the bad smell was disappeared , He continue studied computing => This is my first impression. ( we stayed at 9pm ). I know first-sight love is silly but it happened to me. After that day , i stayed at lab room for waiting of him even though i did not have to do anything. So i met my korean friend and then i asked about his information. After that, it took 2 days for finding out his facebook and instagram and i was so happy . I texted message to him on facebook that i saw him a lot in lab room and i saw he had hard time for reviewing lessons. Then we chatted for 1 hour for asking personal information. Then I gave this example test to him . I chatted to him “if you have any problems i can help you ” and he said that he was not confident enough. Then I suggested that i would come to school and help you b4 exam tmr. I met him as friends for the first time and my hand was shaking . My voice was so shaking. At first, i sat far from him but he said ” Sit here , next to me ” so i came there to sat with fucking big happiness. He was also smart then when we finished reveiw for test after 40 minutes.Then, I told him that i would leave now and he followed me and said “thank you” and said that he would buy me a drink. After that , he did his test well but unfortunately I lost my motobike parking card . He told me that he would take me home but i rejected( inside of me , i really want ) . Because my house is far away from school and it was going to rain => it was hard for him because he was foreign student in my country. So He went home and i stayed at school till to the evening for remembering all beautiful memory. I went home by taxi then i chatted with him. I am kind of a girl serious in love so i asked him ” do u have gf?” he said ” yes” but his fb did not show that .I was shock because beautiful memory and terrible thing that i did not want to hear happening in 1 day. I know he had gf but i really like him .( he know i like him ) ,Next 1 day, So i made a short meeting because i want to keep he is as a friend now cause i was so afraid not seeing him again . Then i said that i just had good impression with you and just it ! Could we become friend ? ( I still like him but i dont wanna be a disturbed-girl..) I hope that he could understand how much i like him and the first- sight love is real.
    Sa rang hae CWJ

    Thats all

  4. Hi, I am a Filipino who moved to Canada. I met this Korean guy at my school the first day of the semester, he was on my class. I was at my in-denial stage at that time but now I’m pretty sure that I like him. His been teasing me lately like calling me fat just because every time we see each other I’m always eating stuff xD. Also, I feel like this guy is always staring at me specially when we’re in English class. When we were sitting next to each other he doesn’t look around, I checked my kakaotalk and asked him if he has one but I didn’t mean that I want his kakaotalk at that time, he just suddenly took my ipod and put his. After being friends with him at kakaotalk, at that day he just sending me random emojis. There’s also one time that I talked with another guy in my class who is also Korean, he keeps on staring at me and keep making signs as if he doesn’t want me to talk to him since he doesn’t like that guy for some reason. I talked to his friend and asked him if is it just me who he treats that way like teasing me and stuff and his friend says yes. Lastly, yesterday when I was talking to my friends they said that he was staring at me. When I told this story to a close friends of mine, they said that he probably also feels the same way.
    This Korean guy is not a shy-type Asian, I know a lot of students who also likes him. Also he is coming back to Korea to continue his studies. I want to know your opinion if he also likes me or its just his personality..

    pleaseee heeellpp :<< thank youuu

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