How to get a Korean guy to like you

How to get a Korean guy to like youHow to get a Korean guy to like you and how to make him fall in love with you are some of the most common search terms that bring people to our site. We’ve addressed how to tell if a Korean guy likes you, but haven’t given an answer on how to get him to feel this way.

I’m going to start off with the boring and generic (but true!) answer, and then quickly move on to something much more important. So here it goes: Korean men are not so strongly influenced by their culture that they would have some collective preference to women. Korean guys love all kinds of different women (and men).

Now the important part.

I believe there are two types of readers reading this. First are those who think it’s a silly question that has no real answer, and second type are those who really want a concrete answer and not some vague “we are all special and unique” nonsense.

I’m more inclined to side with the first group. But I also know it’s easy for me to judge and pretend I’m above asking such questions when I am on the other side of the river of love, firmly holding my beloved man.

The truth is, I also was worried when I first fell in love with Kimchi Man. I was worried he might misunderstand the type of person I am because of different cultural context. Take, for example, modesty. South Korea and Europe appear to have different sets of standards and I was worried Kimchi Man might condemn the clothes I wear. We all walk half-naked around here in the summer and he’s never worn a pair of short pants in his life.

And yes, I knew that no man has the right to judge me for the clothes I wear, blah, blah, but all I could think of was that I just really really want him to like me. Another example is the attitude towards school. I wanted Kimchi Man to know I was really hard working and a good student, but how can 6-7 hours a day I spent in school compare to Koreans who spend all day long locked up in there, only to study into the wee hours of the night?

So, while I can honestly say that, now that I’ve been through it all and got to know Koreans better, there is absolutely nothing that would make all Korean guys like a woman, it doesn’t really worry me that so many women ask me that shallow question.

What worries me is the problem that is much deeper and more sinister. The questions we get are always asking if she might not have a chance with Korean guy because she’s heavy or black or doesn’t act cute or has curly hair… Ok. Fine.

But how come no woman is worried that she’s not educated or interesting or funny enough? Girls, you have to give Korean guys more credit. Beautiful women may be hard to resist, but beauty stops being a novelty after a while, and even more quickly if one is boring, mean or dim. I’m sure you can think back to some handsome guy or an actor who suddenly wasn’t so handsome after all, as soon as he displayed an ugly personality?

So if you want to do something to get a Korean guy to really like you, get a higher degree, work on your grades, try to be a kinder person, be interested in things so you can be interesting in a conversation, be trustworthy… In short, seduce him with your brain.

And the modesty thing from the beginning? He never asked me to change the way I dress, and as we both discovered, he has a pair of really nice legs that look great in shorts. :)

- Oegukeen

 

 

 

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33 thoughts on “How to get a Korean guy to like you

  1. Cute article. I agree that this is one of the most common questions asked. Even my friends ask me the same question and I’d be like, “Seriously?”

    Even if it’s not about Korean men, there isn’t a concrete answer. I know that the answer “be yourself” won’t satisfy my friends and will instead make them more frustrated.

    You are correct though. Most of my Korean male friends are impressed to meet “independent” women who can hold themselves high. Witty, humorous, and kind.

    • Haha, I’m surprised even you get that question. :)

      Yeah, when they get “be yourself” answer many people tend to think the other person is just too lazy to give them the real answer. But it is really the only true answer. But I figured, as long as you feel doing something, why not work on yourself. :)

  2. Personally I find this kind of question(s) weird… I mean, asking for instructions on how to become a certain person in order to get any man to like/love one are weird for me… Actually “be yourself” is the only right and good answer…well, that’s only my opinion.

        • When we want someone to like us, we put our best foot forward. Later in the relationship we relax. I think this is both normal, and a good way to approach a relationship.

          And I guess an example would be how we both brushed our teeth like 20 times a day when we just started our relationship. We’re down to 3 now, and our enamel is grateful ^^
          He used to put on my socks for me every single time we would go out (I have no idea why:) ) and he doesn’t do this any more. I made sure I was always wearing a mascara, and now I skip it most of the days.

          • I see what you mean… I was in my very early twenties like that, but not anymore… well, don’t get me wrong, I’m not the harsh, mean version of myself, I believe that it’s only natural to be nice to someone I’ve just met, not only the person you are interested in, but everyone, right?! I think you are with me with this one, but other than that I am still my very own self, straight forward and honest ^^ but not “the best version”.

            Brushing teeth like 20 times? You really did that? Wow (>‿<) lol
            And didn’t you ask him why he put your socks on? Kimchi Man, why did you do that? I’m curious (⌒‿⌒) And why isn’t he doing it anymore? And why don’t you put mascara on anymore? Why did this all change?

            • I’m sure he put my socks on to be helpful and nice. I was just wondering why SOCKS, of all things. I did ask him, but his answer is: Why not? ^^

              Putting a lot of effort into another person isn’t not being yourself, it is showing them they matter to you. When a person falls in love it is a natural reaction to be the best version of ourselves. Even the animals do it. That’s what courting is.

              I believe if a person is not ready to do special things when they meet the special person, then they are not truly in love. But being in this constant state of alertness, unable to relax, for too long would start being exhausting and stop being romantic. Relationships naturally progresses from this chaotic emotionally explosive period. And while it was the most exciting part of my life, I am glad they do.

              Our love hasn’t decreased. Our care for each other hasn’t decreased. On contrary, we love each other more than ever, and he knows exactly what I need and how to care for me. But as we got to know each other better, and as we became more certain that the other person loves us as well, our love became more relaxed. He became my most trusted companion, my deepest support. Our love is not shallow and explosive anymore, it is deep and rumbling.

              Of course, it is also a matter of balance. If we stayed in the initial phase too much, we would burn out and miss out on something profound and special. On the other hand, if the sparks completely disappeared, then we would just be good friends. So I think both is necessary, but in good ratios.

              Also, concerning brushing our teeth and putting socks on, etc. When you first meet a person, you don’t know what they’re like. They could be lazy, unhelpful, dirty… When you’ve know someone for a short time, if they do something bad, you might think that is their personality. If, on the other hand, Kimchi Man would do something bad now (like forget to brush his teeth ^^) I know it’s just a one time thing, and not who he is.

          • I’m sure that it was this reason, but I thought it’s maybe something traditional Korean. (⌒‿⌒)

            I agree, when a person >falls in love< putting a lot of effort and starting doing special things, actually doing everything for this person is the natural reaction, but not from the very beginning, unless maybe one believes in love at first sight, which I don’t do. Overall being nice to someone I’ve just met is the natural way to behave, at first, later on it’s a total different story of course.

            Being in this constant state of alertness, unable to relax… I don’t remember that I’ve ever felt that way, so I can’t say anything about it.

            “Our love hasn’t decreased. Our care for each other hasn’t decreased. On contrary, we love each other more than ever, and he knows exactly what I need and how to care for me. But as we got to know each other better, and as we became more certain that the other person loves us as well, our love became more relaxed. He became my most trusted companion, my deepest support. Our love is not shallow and explosive anymore, it is deep and rumbling.”  I think this is how love should develop and I’m of course very happy for you two, that you’ve found each other and that you love each other so much. (⌒‿⌒)

  3. *Before you read it, This is a personal comment of mine even though I wrote down there like they are all Korean guys’ think, you know, it isn’t possible to be having exactly same opinion for all people.

    Well, I’m the Korean guy and I have something to tell you about Korean guy’s thinking for the Foreign girls.

    Actually, I have been living in Morocco for 20 months till now and I’ve got lot of changed thinking for the Foreign girls. (I have been going out with Moroccan girl and had lot of kind of foreign female friends.)

    Before I came to abroad, I mean, When I was in Korea and didn’t know about the out of Korea, actually, there are no many Korean Guys who interested about Foreign girls just like what I’m used to think before. I’m sorry for it. but it is truth. I think this is just because we look too different. (till now, I’m keep asking to my Korean male friends about my foreign female friends that beautiful for me, with their pictures.. but they hardly think they are beautiful enough.) I think, looking different is just good for Korean girls. hhh… You know, so many guys in the world love Korean girls ans the Korean girls love the guys too.

    We(Korean guys) usually think just about Korean girls and the most of Korean guys think that Korean girls are the most beautiful women in the world.

    Of course, I used to think that way too which is I’m not now haha

    And actually, we are well dressed. You know, That’s why you guys think Korean guys are so girly (You can’t say we are girly just because of the our fashion sense! hhhh we are not girly as you think..).. haha and you know what? We think the other guys dress too badly or comfortably.. (I mean, we are just different not wrong)

    So, yeah we actually do care about GF’s fashion. I though I don’t but it turned out I couldn’t help looking my GF’s fashion. as you know, Korean girls’ Fashion is very good and this was what I used look for whole life.

    *I think Korean guys love the girl that look like the Korean girl. this could be just perfect answer for you guys. So if you guys really wanna get Korea guy, keep try to be like them! then you gonna lose your great advantage that Korean girls can hardly get.

    well, as 최다혜 said, we love the “independent” women who can hold themselves high. Witty, humorous, and kind.

    This is also why I like the foreign girls! A decent number of Korean girls want to depend on the men financially. maybe, because they are more difficult to make lot of money than men in Korea.

    And actually we don’t really care if you guys wear too shortly because Korean girls also wear very shortly in Korea.

    Actually, we know you guys have more opened mind than Korean girls(and guys). this is rather could be your advantage to get the Korean guy. We love opened mind girl!

    As for me, I love white-blond hair, blue eyes and the opened mind!! hh
    Korean girls are too sensitive, so it makes us(Korean couple) have a lovers’ quarrel too often. but you guys are so cool! I really love it.
    I think you guys know how to enjoy the life, don’t you?

  4. So, I’ve been trying for years to seduce a man with my brain and it doesn’t work, so this article says that I may get a chance with someone from a different country hahahahaha I still don´t know how did I get to read this, but it gives me hope.

    • There are no guarantees :) I was just trying to make a point that women are so certain if only they would lose weight or had blonde hair instead of dark brown or something along those lines, then they could get their perfect guy.

      There are other ways to impress a guy, and I can from my own experience say they work :)

  5. I have a korean bf. born there but moved in the states couple of years ago. When we meet it was thro online dating. We were connected but there was a huge difference when we met. I was too shy he thought right away that i didnt like him. Im not sure if all korean guys are like this but with him, if i dont respond in time he thinks “im not good enough” he really cared about his looks since he is a bit chubby but i didnt care. When we got to know each other better, there was almost like a set of rules that cant be broken. He’s had bad relationships with asian girls before so he tends to avoid it but like a guy still finds them attracting (aka porn) but he really likes the latina style which is even worse for me even tho i am one there are really busty women better looking them me. My korean man cares about his girl’s body since he is the one enjoying it lol. He is picky about what i should and shoudnt wear. No v necks but short shorts are ok for some reason. He really wanted me to wear makeup, fix my hair, do my nails, be less shy, go on a diet, he has these high standards. But the tickly thing here is that you cant really be yourself in a relationship with a korean guy (if your non korean) There are changes to adapt and avoid certain ones. I choose doung my nails, less skin showing, on a diet. Oh and They are very question-y . But the way i got my bfs attention was by being honest, he does joke around almost like a “trap joke” he would say “would you be able to pay for the gas for his car and etc” i answered sure, he said “jk” he wanted to see if i was selfish or greedy. Ive meet some of his freinds and it see,s like guys dont like their girls to be too “money wasteful” if you spend xxx.xx $ on one thing they would break up with you soon but guys do give expensive gifts to their girls on special events. Girls wanting to date a korean, make sure you can adapt but know where to set your limit , have a thick skin when they joke around, and dont cry my korean guy gets mad when i do so dont cry or they will walk out on you, be the type who is ready to get married, serious about it.

    • Oh, wow.

      PLEASE don’t say this is the way Korean guys are. It is not. This is the way one Korean guy you know is.

      I spend all day long in baggy pajamas, I don’t wear make-up unless it is special occasion, I’m European so we walk in tiny amount of clothes in the summer. And my Korean boyfriend is fine with all that. Even if he wasn’t he wouldn’t say anything.

      Actually, I’ve never met another person who lets me do what I want as much as he does. Everyone else I’ve ever been in a relationship with would try to change at least the little things. He’s very much live-and-let-live type of guy.

      So yeah, you should be aware that those things your boyfriend does are his personality, not his culture.

  6. Hi, i want to thank you and congrant for this blog is great and really interesting for me. The question is about what the korean men think about the latin woman?? you know something about this topic i know is very broad but im very grateful if you decided write something this. My goal is to live in Seoul the next year and and simply fall in love madly hahaha, seriously, i want to learn hangul and work..

    Thank so much, your job is great…..

    Muchas gracias!!!!

    Cata!

    • Most Koreans don’t know much about Latin people and their culture. It’s totally my personal opinion, but many Korean guys are kind of timid and insecure. They’re trained to hold back their feelings with all the years at school and the military. I’m not sure they can or they think they can handle passionate Latin culture. Maybe they could secretly admire it and in that case you could unseal their passion inside?

      I guess they’ll first be interested in Latin women’s glamorous bodies which Korean women hardly have. And most Koreans like foreigners speaking Korean. Just some sentences will attract their huge attention. I think you could find somebody who wants to exchange languages. Young people in Korea are kind of pushed into endless studying so you could try starting a relationship in a study setting. Anyway, once you and the guy got interested in each other, I guess you’ll know what to do.

      I may be saying this unnecessarily, but those characters in dramas are the kind of girls in Korea desire to have, and the reason they want to see those characters on TV is that it’s hard to meet somebody like the characters in real life.

      I don’t know how and why you got interested in Korean guys, but I hope you meet nice guys and enjoy staying in Seoul. Good luck.

  7. Learn how to do 애교. It’s killer. Many Korean girls act like babies when they date and Korean guys seem to love it.

  8. what a bunch of bollocks. this whole article and the comments. korean men care about how good you keep a house, how good you are with money, don’t want you to work, tell you what to wear,what to eat…their only concern is how good you take care of them. your likes, needs do not matter nor do they care. It’s not about what you want but about what they decide you need in their eyes. western women are NOT used to this. im married 10 years to a man from Korea. i am from the US. While i am grateful that he is more “evolved” i watch my brother in law treat his wife as second, his cousins treat their wives/ girlfriends like this, as well as korean friends they have. All men from Korea. Not to mention they are judgmental as all get out. as a western woman it is very uncomfortable to be around. Makes me want to scream. and I’m pretty old fashioned by American standards.

    • So, let me get this straight: You know two Korean men well, and from this you conclude that you know exactly what 25 million Korean men are like?

      I’ve been in a relationship with Korean man for more than 3 years, and he is nothing what you talk about. I am interested only in my career, I couldn’t care less about cleaning and cooking and I almost never do it as I don’t have time for it. Actually, he loves to cook for me, and splitting the house chores was a given for both of us.

      He has been with me through thick and thin and putting my needs before his is exactly why I love him so much and would do anything for him too.

      Are all Korean men like my boyfriend? Of course not. But they are not all like your husband and brother-in-law either.

  9. Hallo!

    I’ve read your blog and articles.. it’s very cute!
    I just have one question,
    do every man in Korea look like the one is K-Pop group or look like the one in K-Drama?
    I’ve fell in love with one of the Actor in K-Drama. :D

    Thanks!

  10. I’ve dated with Korean man for 3 times. and the last still until now ^^
    my first Korean BF was not handsome but he is kind but sometimes he leave me without telling what is he doing. have we meet each other? NO. we just met in a socmed and we chatted everyday and suddenly he conffess me. at the end, he go i don’t know where but he come back and telling me that he regret it, meanwhile i’m already with the 2nd boy.
    my second K-BF (Korean Boyfie) it just last for 2 weeks :(
    actually, at first he is very nice to me but so suddenly he turn into a tempramental guy. he always nag at me and angry. until at the end he told me that he still love me but he said let’s start again at “this date” and so on until now we don’t getting back together. yeah, i don’t want to getting back with him too.
    and the last boyfie, he is kind but he don’t have much time for me now because he is sosososososo busy. i know it’s hard for me but i still love him :P
    how do they confess? they just so sudden confess to me and all of them i haven’t meet at all we just met on socmed. and i think i’m going to meet with the 3rd k-BF lol
    with all the k-BF i talked with them in Korean and Hangeul
    believe me, your love story will be not as good as korean drama or k-pop MV. and not all korean guy is very handsome as the idols.
    and it will be easier for you to get along with the koreans if you can speak korean (well, you guys know it), and don’t find love! let the love find you :)
    Have a nice day!^^

  11. I had korean boyfriend but we keep our relationship for 2 week :( sadly
    At first i’m admit that i like him and he told he like me too and then we start our relationship and we were talking all time and he told me he dont care about distance and he will always love me he was so nice and kind we were sent each other everything and what we doing and at least he dont talking to me as usual just ignore me sometimes and wake up dont send me message i was so sad and sent but he reply me too late or at mid night btw he was too busy with his exams cuz he still in high school im 16 and he 18 years
    One day we didn’t talk a lot and then i asked him when his school will finish and he answered me and i told him too when i finish then he told ” can you wait for me” i said sure
    And he told me ” 1 month” and then ” goodbye” i knew he well leave me i was send all times but no reply everyday crying and waiting his message just ignore me and someday he came and tell me he have girlfriend and we are only friends and to dont answer him anymore and he was too happy to talk with me
    Until now im send him message but he asking me why im so kind to him even he made me angry!!!! Im always sent what happened in my day everything!
    But just ignore~~~~ please someone tell me what to do??
    I have to stop send him message ?? Or what??? T.T

  12. wow really impressive. Long long article. You are seriously inspect Kor guy. Just do it. Dont hesitate. Things r changed in Korea.

    Kakao ID : myluvm3

  13. Hi, girls! I need advice! I Korean guy told me that he liked me for a long time and start pushing our relation really hard! He even started to kiss me in front of his Korean friend and my friends, asked me for dinner and so on. And after i realized that i feel comfortable that way… he just disappeared… Like not responding on Kakao or doing it with few days delay… Few times he said that he will call me out and didn’t do it. Instead he went out with friends and things like that. I am really confused. Help me, please!

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