How to get a Korean guy to like you and how to make him fall in love with you are some of the most common search terms that bring people to our site. We’ve addressed how to tell if a Korean guy likes you, but haven’t given an answer on how to get him to feel this way.
I’m going to start off with the boring and generic (but true!) answer, and then quickly move on to something much more important. So here it goes: Korean men are not so strongly influenced by their culture that they would have some collective preference to women. Korean guys love all kinds of different women (and men).
Now the important part.
I believe there are two types of readers reading this. First are those who think it’s a silly question that has no real answer, and second type are those who really want a concrete answer and not some vague “we are all special and unique” nonsense.
I’m more inclined to side with the first group. But I also know it’s easy for me to judge and pretend I’m above asking such questions when I am on the other side of the river of love, firmly holding my beloved man.
The truth is, I also was worried when I first fell in love with Kimchi Man. I was worried he might misunderstand the type of person I am because of different cultural context. Take, for example, modesty. South Korea and Europe appear to have different sets of standards and I was worried Kimchi Man might condemn the clothes I wear. We all walk half-naked around here in the summer and he’s never worn a pair of short pants in his life.
And yes, I knew that no man has the right to judge me for the clothes I wear, blah, blah, but all I could think of was that I just really really want him to like me. Another example is the attitude towards school. I wanted Kimchi Man to know I was really hard working and a good student, but how can 6-7 hours a day I spent in school compare to Koreans who spend all day long locked up in there, only to study into the wee hours of the night?
So, while I can honestly say that, now that I’ve been through it all and got to know Koreans better, there is absolutely nothing that would make all Korean guys like a woman, it doesn’t really worry me that so many women ask me that shallow question.
What worries me is the problem that is much deeper and more sinister. The questions we get are always asking if she might not have a chance with Korean guy because she’s heavy or black or doesn’t act cute or has curly hair… Ok. Fine.
But how come no woman is worried that she’s not educated or interesting or funny enough? Girls, you have to give Korean guys more credit. Beautiful women may be hard to resist, but beauty stops being a novelty after a while, and even more quickly if one is boring, mean or dim. I’m sure you can think back to some handsome guy or an actor who suddenly wasn’t so handsome after all, as soon as he displayed an ugly personality?
So if you want to do something to get a Korean guy to really like you, get a higher degree, work on your grades, try to be a kinder person, be interested in things so you can be interesting in a conversation, be trustworthy… In short, seduce him with your brain.
And the modesty thing from the beginning? He never asked me to change the way I dress, and as we both discovered, he has a pair of really nice legs that look great in shorts. :)
- Oegukeen
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Cute article. I agree that this is one of the most common questions asked. Even my friends ask me the same question and I’d be like, “Seriously?”
Even if it’s not about Korean men, there isn’t a concrete answer. I know that the answer “be yourself” won’t satisfy my friends and will instead make them more frustrated.
You are correct though. Most of my Korean male friends are impressed to meet “independent” women who can hold themselves high. Witty, humorous, and kind.
Haha, I’m surprised even you get that question. :)
Yeah, when they get “be yourself” answer many people tend to think the other person is just too lazy to give them the real answer. But it is really the only true answer. But I figured, as long as you feel doing something, why not work on yourself. :)
Personally I find this kind of question(s) weird… I mean, asking for instructions on how to become a certain person in order to get any man to like/love one are weird for me… Actually “be yourself” is the only right and good answer…well, that’s only my opinion.
As you can see from our post, we agree with you.
On the other hand, NO ONE acts the same during the seduction phase as they do later in the relationship.
What do you mean with “acts the same during the seduction phase as they do later in the relationship”? Could you give me an example please ^^
When we want someone to like us, we put our best foot forward. Later in the relationship we relax. I think this is both normal, and a good way to approach a relationship.
And I guess an example would be how we both brushed our teeth like 20 times a day when we just started our relationship. We’re down to 3 now, and our enamel is grateful ^^
He used to put on my socks for me every single time we would go out (I have no idea why:) ) and he doesn’t do this any more. I made sure I was always wearing a mascara, and now I skip it most of the days.
I see what you mean… I was in my very early twenties like that, but not anymore… well, don’t get me wrong, I’m not the harsh, mean version of myself, I believe that it’s only natural to be nice to someone I’ve just met, not only the person you are interested in, but everyone, right?! I think you are with me with this one, but other than that I am still my very own self, straight forward and honest ^^ but not “the best version”.
Brushing teeth like 20 times? You really did that? Wow (>‿<) lol
And didn’t you ask him why he put your socks on? Kimchi Man, why did you do that? I’m curious (⌒‿⌒) And why isn’t he doing it anymore? And why don’t you put mascara on anymore? Why did this all change?
I’m sure he put my socks on to be helpful and nice. I was just wondering why SOCKS, of all things. I did ask him, but his answer is: Why not? ^^
Putting a lot of effort into another person isn’t not being yourself, it is showing them they matter to you. When a person falls in love it is a natural reaction to be the best version of ourselves. Even the animals do it. That’s what courting is.
I believe if a person is not ready to do special things when they meet the special person, then they are not truly in love. But being in this constant state of alertness, unable to relax, for too long would start being exhausting and stop being romantic. Relationships naturally progresses from this chaotic emotionally explosive period. And while it was the most exciting part of my life, I am glad they do.
Our love hasn’t decreased. Our care for each other hasn’t decreased. On contrary, we love each other more than ever, and he knows exactly what I need and how to care for me. But as we got to know each other better, and as we became more certain that the other person loves us as well, our love became more relaxed. He became my most trusted companion, my deepest support. Our love is not shallow and explosive anymore, it is deep and rumbling.
Of course, it is also a matter of balance. If we stayed in the initial phase too much, we would burn out and miss out on something profound and special. On the other hand, if the sparks completely disappeared, then we would just be good friends. So I think both is necessary, but in good ratios.
Also, concerning brushing our teeth and putting socks on, etc. When you first meet a person, you don’t know what they’re like. They could be lazy, unhelpful, dirty… When you’ve know someone for a short time, if they do something bad, you might think that is their personality. If, on the other hand, Kimchi Man would do something bad now (like forget to brush his teeth ^^) I know it’s just a one time thing, and not who he is.
I’m sure that it was this reason, but I thought it’s maybe something traditional Korean. (⌒‿⌒)
I agree, when a person >falls in love< putting a lot of effort and starting doing special things, actually doing everything for this person is the natural reaction, but not from the very beginning, unless maybe one believes in love at first sight, which I don’t do. Overall being nice to someone I’ve just met is the natural way to behave, at first, later on it’s a total different story of course.
Being in this constant state of alertness, unable to relax… I don’t remember that I’ve ever felt that way, so I can’t say anything about it.
“Our love hasn’t decreased. Our care for each other hasn’t decreased. On contrary, we love each other more than ever, and he knows exactly what I need and how to care for me. But as we got to know each other better, and as we became more certain that the other person loves us as well, our love became more relaxed. He became my most trusted companion, my deepest support. Our love is not shallow and explosive anymore, it is deep and rumbling.” I think this is how love should develop and I’m of course very happy for you two, that you’ve found each other and that you love each other so much. (⌒‿⌒)
*Before you read it, This is a personal comment of mine even though I wrote down there like they are all Korean guys’ think, you know, it isn’t possible to be having exactly same opinion for all people.
Well, I’m the Korean guy and I have something to tell you about Korean guy’s thinking for the Foreign girls.
Actually, I have been living in Morocco for 20 months till now and I’ve got lot of changed thinking for the Foreign girls. (I have been going out with Moroccan girl and had lot of kind of foreign female friends.)
Before I came to abroad, I mean, When I was in Korea and didn’t know about the out of Korea, actually, there are no many Korean Guys who interested about Foreign girls just like what I’m used to think before. I’m sorry for it. but it is truth. I think this is just because we look too different. (till now, I’m keep asking to my Korean male friends about my foreign female friends that beautiful for me, with their pictures.. but they hardly think they are beautiful enough.) I think, looking different is just good for Korean girls. hhh… You know, so many guys in the world love Korean girls ans the Korean girls love the guys too.
We(Korean guys) usually think just about Korean girls and the most of Korean guys think that Korean girls are the most beautiful women in the world.
Of course, I used to think that way too which is I’m not now haha
And actually, we are well dressed. You know, That’s why you guys think Korean guys are so girly (You can’t say we are girly just because of the our fashion sense! hhhh we are not girly as you think..).. haha and you know what? We think the other guys dress too badly or comfortably.. (I mean, we are just different not wrong)
So, yeah we actually do care about GF’s fashion. I though I don’t but it turned out I couldn’t help looking my GF’s fashion. as you know, Korean girls’ Fashion is very good and this was what I used look for whole life.
*I think Korean guys love the girl that look like the Korean girl. this could be just perfect answer for you guys. So if you guys really wanna get Korea guy, keep try to be like them! then you gonna lose your great advantage that Korean girls can hardly get.
well, as 최다혜 said, we love the “independent” women who can hold themselves high. Witty, humorous, and kind.
This is also why I like the foreign girls! A decent number of Korean girls want to depend on the men financially. maybe, because they are more difficult to make lot of money than men in Korea.
And actually we don’t really care if you guys wear too shortly because Korean girls also wear very shortly in Korea.
Actually, we know you guys have more opened mind than Korean girls(and guys). this is rather could be your advantage to get the Korean guy. We love opened mind girl!
As for me, I love white-blond hair, blue eyes and the opened mind!! hh
Korean girls are too sensitive, so it makes us(Korean couple) have a lovers’ quarrel too often. but you guys are so cool! I really love it.
I think you guys know how to enjoy the life, don’t you?
Hi, thank you for sharing your experience. It’s interesting to read a different man’s perspective than Kimchi Man’s.
Thank you for your insights ~ I agree with your points about looking the part and keeping up that image for your other half too. Hopefully I can go to Korea and take some of that sense of style back with me (and stock up on my wardrobe)