About Loving Korean

dating Korean guys love South Korean manCheck out info about Korean men, Korean tutorials, as well as answers we have given for the most popular of over 200 questions our curious readers have submitted so far.

My Korean boyfriend was born and raised in South Korea and I was born and raised in Europe. As I tried to prepare for the difficult journey ahead – with almost 6,000 miles (around 10 000 km) of distance between our countries and expecting culture clashes, misunderstandings and language barriers – I turned to guidance online by people who had already gone through what still lay ahead for me. To my great surprise, information was either scarce or worryingly negative. Still, we didn’t even consider giving up and meeting each other in person became the most important thing in our lives.And then…

I met my Korean boyfriend

That night everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. My carefully perfected plan was ruined. After taking 6 hours to get there it turned out the place where I wanted to get the food had been closed for a year, the bus didn’t show up, I spent all the money on a cab fare and, on the day when it was crucial I look my best, I looked exhausted and defeated.

This late at night the airport was in semi-darkness and looked deserted. The time seemed to have both slowed down and sped up. I wanted it to pass, and yet, I wasn’t ready. Slowly, a few people gathered. Among them I saw a few black-haired heads. Asians! That was a good sign.

Finally, the gates opened and people started pouring out. And then… I saw him! I had no trouble recognizing him. After all, I haven’t done much else than stare at his photos for the last few months. He was weaving among people, and every few seconds, I would lose sight of him. He grabbed his suitcase and headed… straight towards me!

Yesterday we were thousands of kilometers apart. Now we were so close we could have touched each other. Could have, had it not been for a huge glass pane dividing the arrivals from people ready to greet them. I motioned towards the doors. Before I knew what had happened I was awkwardly hugging him. I had played this hug in my head hundreds of times. Somehow in my mind I always did it much more gracefully. But then again in my mind he didn’t have that huge backpack on.

Dazed, we both made it out, murmuring, trying to make a conversation, our hearts pounding. In the meantime the missing bus magically appeared and we settled in the seats next to each other.

For the first time I looked at him. Really looked at him. It was my boyfriend. My Korean boyfriend. My Korean boyfriend who I was seeing in person for the first time in my life. My eyes slid from his face along his arms. Muscular arms. Down to his hands resting in his lap. There was that watch, the silver watch I would recognize in an instant because it was on every photo of him I have seen. And his hands were just as manly and beautiful as in the photos.

“Is this what you want?”

I looked up to see him smiling at me. My eyes went down again to his hand but this time it wasn’t resting in his lap. It was outstreched, palm-upward, ready for me to hold it. Big smile settled in on my face as our hands wrapped around each other.

Actually, nothing had gone wrong that night.

Korean boyfriend foreign girlfriend Loving Korean

We’ve been through a lot, both together and now apart, but not for a moment did either of us regret it.

If you have a Korean guy you like, or if you are already in a relationship with one, we are happy to have been able to share our experiences and tell you what we have learned, but we would also love to hear any tips that you might have .

Don’t miss our newest answers and other goodies we publish – get prompt notifications in your inbox with “Follow via Email” function in the sidebar. We don’t publish often, so we won’t flood your inbox.

254 thoughts on “About Loving Korean

  1. Hi. Someone showed me this website and I interested your article.haha. i think it is very depends on who he is your bf.
    someguy just focus on your body. but someguy really want to true love from other country. well.. there is some words in korea.
    A guy knows well guy and girl knows well girl. That means if you have a korean bf before you make serious relationship, just introduce to other korean people. and then you will get true information from them. Also, I am korean. haha..it doesn’t matter my bf who comes from.

  2. Hi. Im a filipino with japanese and spanish descent. My concern stsrts here…

    2 years ago, i met this korean guy and i started to like him and wanted to be close with him. After 4 months, we became closer. On the summer class, we became more closer that he asks me stuffs when he’s not sure with doing school works and the summer class was always like that to me. On my 2nd year 1st sem, my feelings for him grew but he was kinda ignoring me already because another girl who was crushing on him was flirting with him.and we were so busy with our duties and we’re in a different group. But before the 1st sem ends, for 2 months, he looks at me in class maybe because he also catch me looking at him. And whenever there will be time that we will walk just the two of us, he looks directly to me eye to eye and he kinda leans over so i tend to lean backward because it’s awkward. And whenever he will see me walking alone, he calls my name and tries to walk with me.
    Then, on the second sem, we’re already in the same group for duty that we’ll be out of the school for 8 hours and 7 of us will be in a hospital for duty. He always go with me and parters up with me bcoz he is bot close with other groupmates. The thing that im confused about is that why does he always look at me and when i’ll look back at him, he will change gaze. And there was one day that our filipino prof was teasing me and him like “Hey “D”, meri is single..why dont you try to date her” .then when all of us were eating together and D and I face each other on thr table,my groupmates came along with the joke and started to tease the two of us. I said “Dont be like that!”D” and i will become awkward. Right “D”?!?!” I asked him and he just smiled looking at my eyes and then to his food. And im like ‘what was the meaning of?! He didnt even answer whether he’s already annoyed or it’s ok’ and the story goes like that. He always approach me like “ALWAYS” and sometimes im annoyed already falling out of love from him because he always ask me approach me. and this time, he’ll be transferring course and school maybe…one day, after 1 week of not seeing each other,he called me and at 7 am,im still in the dorm and sleeping, he told me he wanted to borrow scientific calculator. I told him “ok where are u,i ll bring there the calcu” and he said “im already on my way to your dorm but i dont know which dorm you stay” and then, we met outside the dorm and handed him the calcu and i asked him why he wanted to transfer and why he borrows my calcu. He said he’s enrolled with 2 summer subjects but from what i heard, those subjcts dont require any computation. They were bible subject and a home skill subject about house chores. Then i told him to just give it back the next week. But he didnt return it. It was already 4 weeks from now. Yesterday he texted me that he lost my calcu and he will just buy another one.

    That’s it just for today. I dont know what will happen next.

    So.. I just wanna know if … Should I confess first? And do you think ..did he also have the feelings?

  3. Hello there! I am from the Philippines and I have a story to tell and sort of questions about me and my Korean guy. Here it goes….

    By the way, I am 27 and he’s 28. I met this guy from work. I have this 2nd part time job of being an English Tutor online. He was my student since last year, 2014. We seldom conduct classes, like 2 or 3 times a week. After few months he asked for my Kakao ID and so I did give it. We started to talk there (chat and calls) everyday. He started to send me messages or calls from sweet goodmornings to goodnights. And btw, he has been visiting Philippines for quite some time, Probably 4 times but we didn’t get the chance to meet. Last November while we were talking over kakao he suddenly said, “I like you, don’t you like me?” then I answered “I really don’t know coz we haven’t met in real yet.” So he replied like “I love you, really. You are so different with other girls. Tell me you love me too, please.” So with his constant questions, I said, “yes, I think I am starting to like you too.” Since then, we became more close. After a week, I was surprise when he said, “I booked a ticket going there on February. Will you see me and stay with me?” And I said “Okay I will check with my work schedule If I can get a vacation.” So time passed by, we kept on talking everyday, sending messages. He do things like, sending photos with his friends when he’s out, calling and talking to me on skype or kakao eventhough he’s beside her sister or he’s driving. Those things made me more comfortable and excited to meet him.

    The communication was constant. He gives me his daily schedule everyday, send messages and calls me. So February came, I fetched him in the airport. When he arrived, he was with his korean friend, a guy who will also stay in Philippines. He hugged and kissed me the first time he saw me. We were so comfortable. He brought a lot of things for me. I was surprised. He had cosmetics, perfumes and fancy accessories. I insisted to pay but he refused. So I accepted them with gratitude. He stayed in Philippines for 3 weeks. I was with him on his first and last week. We met his korean friends, my friends and cousins. One night while he was drink and we were walking in the street, he hugged me and kissed me on the lips. I was shocked and pushed him back. I got annoyed and shy because people were staring at us. I didn’t know he felt upset because of that, we fought and tried to explain each other’s reason. Another thing, I was holding his phone and accidentaly saw his facebook. He told me he’s not using his facebook because he’s not interested in it. So I tried to ask him why he lied. I got mad because I thought that he’s hiding something from me. That night, he cried and said sorry. He explained things and showed me his facebook. He told me he only opens it once in a while so he decided to delete it. My heart melt when he started crying. I felt so bad and harsh on him. The night before he went back to Korea, we talked seriously. He said he never expect that he will like me as much as how he feels now. At first he thought he will end up the communication after we met but now it’s changing. He ask me to understand him because he will be very busy for the coming months and that he may not be able to contact me as often as before, but he’ll try. So I said, “No worries. We’ll be okay. ”

    So he went back to Seoul. Actually, nothing has changed. The communication was same as before. We often talked over skype and his mom sees me sometimes. One day I asked him, “Does your mom knows me and us?” he answered, “Yes, she asked about your job and I said you are an English teacher and College instructor.” That was a little relief for me. But this time we often fight, like he always drink with his friends and I ask me a lot of “where are you? arent you going home yet? who’s with you?” Am I too clingy? Or sometimes I feel it’s hard to trust him. He gets annoyed with me most of the time. So I tried to avoid him, I did not contact him for 3 days but he kept on sending me messages like “how are you, goodmorning, i hope you have a great day, goodnight, take care, I miss you.” he was so calm. then he tried to call me many times, finally I decided to answer. Still he was calm, he didn’t get mad at me. I just said, sorry I was so busy eventhough it was a lie. then he answered “it’s okay, I understand. good thing you are fine. I miss you” Is it me? Am I the problem? :( He seldom says I love you or I love you too. but when he does, I really appreciate it. He never complains even I don’t answer I love you too.

    So he visited me again this May for 1 week. The first day we met, we argued. I was asking him to change his kakao picture with our picture together. He refused. He said it’s private and he can’t put our picture together. He always use kakaogroup and he said it’s normal in korea because it’s like a group chat with his batchmate or schoolamate. One time, I saw someone sent him a message in English “I miss you :(” then I asked who is that girl. he answered me like “She’s is friend who I met just online. She’s from Indonesia and like a sister to me. She knows I have a gf don’t worry. we say I miss you but not I love you because It’s normal to miss a friend right?” so I asked, “can I see and check your kakaotalk” But he refused again and said “No you can’t. It might cause us some fight again. It’s better not to see my kakao because it’s private as I always tell you.” then I asked, “aside from her, are you talking with other girls? how many?” he said, “just 2 girls, just friends. they know I have a girlfriend. If people ask if I have a gf I said I have but if they don’t I never tell. I said don’t worry, I don’t have other gf. Just you.” so we fought terribly again. Then he got mad and said “can we take some rest for a while, just one month. I don’t want us to fight always and I don’t want you to get hurt. So please give me the chance to think for a month. Then we will get back together, will you?” Then I answered, “I can’t. It’s either we break up or continue solve this problem together.” I was crying. He said “Don’t cry. whenever you cry my heart melts and I always change my mind. Whenever you get mad at me I feel of leaving you but when you cry I feel soft. I really love you, you know that but you are sometimes too much.” Then I decided, “Ok if you don’t wanna see me crying. I will go out for 15minutes then you can pack your things. I will be back after 15 minutes atleast you will not see me crying when you leave and it won’t change your mind.” So I did went out. had a cup of coffee and to my surprise when I get back he’s still there and he said, “Take a shower, let’s meet my korean friend for a drink.” it was like, nothing happened. On his third night, he asked me to have a drink and dinner. While we were drinking, he said. “I will not repeat this and I will just say this only tonight. Okay. We will not take some time and rest, let’s just fix ourselves and please avoid fighting. It gives me stress. Just forget everything I said last time. And Please do not ask about my kakaotalk anymore just trust me.” And I just whispered “Okay…”

    I was just wondering.. I am not sure if it’s just me. I feel like when he’s talking to me, he shouts or always mad but he said it’s normal. Then when we walk, we seldom hold hands and he walks first. But he said it’s because He thought I don’t like it when he holds my hands just like when he kiss me in public and he walks first because sometimes I walk slowly and he told me to inform him when he walks a little fast. Whenever we are walking and he pulls my hand or body on the safer side or he wants to enter a shop or buy something, I find it forceful. Or is it because koreans are really like that…. when we eat he always say “you sit here beside me.” he is a little bossy I guess or because I have a strong personality? he always tell me I am assertive and stubborn. Maybe I was just used to Filipino Bf and that Korean Men are really different. One time he also mentioned, “You see we are very different, we have a big gap, we have different character but I try to minimize the gap between us. I try to understand your culture. I never did this to other girls. I never dated and kept communication as long as what we have now. So I really love you. It is very easy for me not to communicate with you anymore but I can’t do it. I am still here. I can leave you at this very instant but I am still with you. I stay with you. Can’t you see?” Plus he’s studying our language, Filipino. Then I asked him, “Do you see your future with me? Like getting married with me? He answered, “last time yes, Now.. I am not sure anymore because of your attitude.” Is it really me? Or Am I just justifying his words?
    Everyday, I never call or send message first. He always does. I trusted him a lot. Until I knew about the kakao thing. Should I be threatened by that? He might be back after 3 months. These days I always think about us… Please enlighten me.

    Thank you so much,
    Anne

    • In my opinion if a guy has nothing to hide than he should be okay with you checking his kakao.

      You are definitely in a difficult situation but do whatever is best for you. I am also in a similar situation. I met a korean guy, but he is an international student from Korean. He came to Canada 7 months ago but we met like 2 months ago.

      In the beginning we just text each other and we decided to meet in person after 3 weeks. We both knew we like each other but it was weird since we had not met in person and just talked to each other online. We kissed on our first date, and we decided to start dating. It’s my first time dating a Korean guy since I am a spanish girl, both of our cultures are very different. He seems to like me a lot since he always tells me how he loves me and misses me when we don’t see each other. I also like him a lot. I have notice that he likes to kiss me in public, but i prefer not to do that, he likes to hold my hand all the time, he likes to buy me things, he treats me well and with respect, he told his friends that he has a girlfriend, he met my friends and family and they like him a lot too.

      He still has not told his parents about me. I have notice that he talks a lot on the phone with his girlfriends and friends.

      I think most korean guys have girlfriends as friends but in my culture such thing doesn’t exist lol haha. I personally, don’t like the fact that he meets his girlfriends and goes out. He likes to hang out with friends a lot and drink. He always tells me to trust him and that he only loves me. When, I get mad at him, I ignore his calls and messages but he acts like nothing is wrong. He will text me good morning, i miss u , what you doing, etc….although, I don’t tell him I am mad at him. I let him have his free time and not become to controlling but I think its time for me to tell him how I feel about him meeting up with girl friends. The sad part of my story is that he needs to return back to korean this august which is like in 2 months and if he goes back I will break up with him even though I love him. I can’t go to korean to visit him and he is not coming back to Canada either.

      I told him to stay and marry me lol haha, yeah I know it’s crazy but I love him a lot till the point that i would marry him. I told him that I was willing to marry him, but he didn’t answer, he saids he will give me an answer in 4 weeks lol. I will feel heart broken if he leaves but it’s his decision after all…he was studying to be an environmental engineer in korean so he wants to go back and finish his last year in university, i understand his situation and all but still if he loved me enough he would stay with me here in canada. I will wait for his answer but it’s really bothering me and I feel so angry at him but at the same time he is in a difficult position.

        • Oh really, maybe it was for the best. Cheer up and you can find someone else. If my boyfriend goes back to Korean than I will break up with him and find someone else.

          • and he mentioned like “we are really different”. It broke my heart, really. I feel like I just wasted my time. I was blinded by his sweetness and care at first. Better off this way.

            I hope you and your korean guy can work things out. :)

  4. I know, he talks to girls, but i have never asked to see his Facebook page or kakao. I want to see who he is talking to but I will feel embarrassed if I check his stuff even though he is my boyfriend. Also, I can’t read or understand loren how will I know what he is saying to his girlfriends lol hhhahah this sucks.

      • I know it can be quite annoying at times lol. I am trying to be understanding but soon or later I will need to step up and be straightforward. Although, I am very sad that we might break up because he plans to go back to Korean. Honestly, I don’t understand him. I am willing to do everything for him but he is having a hard time making a decision. I might end up getting my heart broken.

  5. i’m not korean (still asian) I like this korean guy.
    He’s a footballer for my hometown team. We’ve met before during his training. My heart beats so fast when i see him. Unfortunately during a conversation, he told me that he already had a girlfriend. Korean girlfriend ㅜㅜ my heart brokes into pieces lol i tried to forget him but i can’t. My friends also say ‘just forget him’ but idk why is it so hard. ㅜㅜ

  6. This site…

    All those Korean dramas are leading girls to think Korean men are knights in shining armor >.> I know this is the case in Asia, and any western demographics that like Korean dramas.

    The dramas have created a misguided culture around those who dont truly understand it. It’s totally misleading. Please snap out of it, girls!

      • I’m happy you replied. I agree with everything you just said.

        I don’t cite Korean dramas as the only source of being misleading. I cite the entire K-pop culture, or K-pop media which, even in the country itself, influences young men and women alike to act in ways which are not as straightforward as in the west. Though it seems like I’m deciding what the WHOLE nation is like, I’m only stereotyping. Culture being influenced by media happens everywhere, just taste is different in each nation.

        I cite Korean culture SPECIFICALLY because it seems to be–along with Japanese pop culture–the most pervasive in other countries.

        K-pop culture has a really ideal modern fairytale vibe to it. And unlike Japanese culture, it feels different. Inaccessible. Perhaps a little too romantic and too ideal. Why else would people have a romantic (and distant) fascination with Korean men and women? Why even have this site, if Koreans shouldn’t be treated any differently from other nationalities? Because their culture is so specific.

        I warn against this fascination because foreigners’ understanding of Korea is misguided.

        Korean men are like men everywhere. Korean women are like women everywhere. There’s a difference between being AWARE that they’re playing the GAME (the rules of which are played differently in every culture), and ROMANTICIZING their romantic-ness.

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