Hi, I would like to say your posts are really helpful especially since I just unexpectedly fell for a Korean guy myself ^^
I met a Korean guy online, I am 24 years old and he is, 34 years old and he recently visited my country to meet me and my parents for the first time. During his short visit (only 4 days) we became a couple. ^^
But after we became a couple, he said something like could I please “accept” him. He said that in Korean culture, “accepting” a person and being a couple means giving your heart and body completely to that person, and it’s like saying, “I love you and so I want to give you myself.”… is this true?
..I found him to be so “fast” and I was scared, since I come from a culture that is very very conservative/reserved when it comes to romantic relationships (we strongly believe in saving oneself/reserving oneself for marriage). But he understood me and said that he respects our culture and I am happy about that.
He is now back in Korea, and plans on visiting again, but I am afraid that he will try to make me “accept” him the next time we meet… I’ve been trying to find out anything about this “acceptance” thing, and I haven’t found anything about it..I am starting to think that maybe he lied to me…
…I am really confused and “scared”…is there really such a thing as this kind of “acceptance” for us to become an official couple???
We are so glad you think what we do is helpful!
Before I answer your question I would like to say:
This relationship is not between Korea and your country. This relationship is between you and him. A culture cannot and should not dictate what a person decides to do with their heart and their body. You are not going to do anything you are uncomfortable with, and you are not going to do anything until you are ready for it. And your Korean man needs to accept that not because he respects your culture, but because he respects YOU.
Now, that does not mean your Korean boyfriend is a bad guy, nor a liar. But you wrote twice that you are scared. You need to step back and create boundaries until you are comfortable in this relationship. When he told you about being “accepted” he was telling you what he wants. Now it’s time you tell him what you want.
I asked Kimchi Man about the word “accepted” in Korean culture. He says he is not sure, and he never heard anyone use it in English. However, it is possible that if Kimchi Man saw the Korean word he would realize what it means. So, if it is really important to you to check this word, ask your Korean boyfriend if he could write it down for you in Korean language, and we will have a look and try to help.
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