About Loving Korean

Welcome to Loving Korean. A site written by Oegukeen and helped greatly by Kimchi Man. Check out info about Korean men, Korean tutorials, as well as answers we have given for the most popular of over 200 questions our curious readers have submitted so far.
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My Korean boyfriend was born and raised in South Korea and I was born and raised in Europe. As I tried to prepare for the difficult journey ahead – with almost 6,000 miles (around 10 000 km) of distance between our countries and expecting culture clashes, misunderstandings and language barriers – I turned to guidance online by people who had already gone through what still lay ahead for me. To my great surprise, information was either scarce or worryingly negative. Still, we didn’t even consider giving up and meeting each other in person became the most important thing in our lives.And then…

I met my Korean boyfriend

dating Korean guys love South Korean manThat night everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. My carefully perfected plan was ruined. After taking 6 hours to get there it turned out the place where I wanted to get the food had been closed for a year, the bus didn’t show up, I spent all the money on a cab fare and, on the day when it was crucial I look my best, I looked exhausted and defeated.

This late at night the airport was in semi-darkness and looked deserted. The time seemed to have both slowed down and sped up. I wanted it to pass, and yet, I wasn’t ready. Slowly, a few people gathered. Among them I saw a few black-haired heads. Asians! That was a good sign.

Finally, the gates opened and people started pouring out. And then… I saw him! I had no trouble recognizing him. After all, I haven’t done much else than stare at his photos for the last few months. He was weaving among people, and every few seconds, I would lose sight of him. He grabbed his suitcase and headed… straight towards me!

Yesterday we were thousands of kilometers apart. Now we were so close we could have touched each other. Could have, had it not been for a huge glass pane dividing the arrivals from people ready to greet them. I motioned towards the doors. Before I knew what had happened I was awkwardly hugging him. I had played this hug in my head hundreds of times. Somehow in my mind I always did it much more gracefully. But then again in my mind he didn’t have that huge backpack on.

Dazed, we both made it out, murmuring, trying to make a conversation, our hearts pounding. In the meantime the missing bus magically appeared and we settled in the seats next to each other.

For the first time I looked at him. Really looked at him. It was my boyfriend. My Korean boyfriend. My Korean boyfriend who I was seeing in person for the first time in my life. My eyes slid from his face along his arms. Muscular arms. Down to his hands resting in his lap. There was that watch, the silver watch I would recognize in an instant because it was on every photo of him I have seen. And his hands were just as manly and beautiful as in the photos.

“Is this what you want?”

I looked up to see him smiling at me. My eyes went down again to his hand but this time it wasn’t resting in his lap. It was outstreched, palm-upward, ready for me to hold it. Big smile settled in on my face as our hands wrapped around each other.

Actually, nothing had gone wrong that night.

Korean boyfriend foreign girlfriend Loving Korean

We’ve been through a lot, both together and now apart, but not for a moment did either of us regret it.

If you have a Korean guy you like, or if you are already in a relationship with one, we are happy to have been able to share our experiences and tell you what we have learned, but we would also love to hear any tips that you might have .

Don’t miss our newest answers and other goodies we publish – get prompt notifications in your inbox with “Follow via Email” function in the sidebar. We don’t publish often, so we won’t flood your inbox.

345 thoughts on “About Loving Korean

  1. Hey! I was just surfing on net when I found this blog. Though I haven’t found my Korean man yet (it is a little bit hard, since I live in South America =/ ), I really loved this blog and hope you guys keep posting! Kisses from Brazil! :-D

    • Hey yourself! :) We are really excited to have a new reader. Don’t lose hope, my town has no East Asians living in it, and I still found a Korean boyfriend – and I wasn’t even looking for one! We’re sure there is a Korean guy out there for you.

  2. Just wanna know how to search death records (i just need just these year’s record) using just only the internet… my friend is not contacting me anymore (we are so close like siblings). im worried and i have many thoughts in my head..i just want to know if something happened to my friend… i hope nothing happened.. TT_TT

    my friend is in S.Korea living in Seoul. thank you for help and kindness

    • The lists of deceased are only published if some major accident happens like skipwreck where many people die. As far as we know individual deaths are not.

      We really really hope their is some other explanation why your friend fell out of contact. If there is anything else we can do let us know.

  3. Hello! What a wonderful post! I have no idea how I could have missed your blog. Thank goodness for one of my followers for telling me about this site. This post has made me smile a lot. I’m a big fan of all things Korean, from food, dramas, culture and music. I have a few Korean friends and also have been trying to learn the language. Korean culture reminds me a lot of my own culture, which is probably why I’ve come to love their culture. My dream is one day visit Korea with my little bean and my other half. One of my favourite shows 1n2d is my go to show if I want to chill or just laugh my heart out, I’ve probably seen most episodes at least twice or three times, I never get bored! And what I admire about your blog is the fact that you’ve kept this as a community, and kept your pictures private :). I really admire this. Once again, thanks for sharing your experience with us, and wish you and your boyfriend all the best. xx D @sweetjellybean.com

    • We are so grateful to your follower for sending you our way. I also found myself feeling right at home with Korean culture, at least the part that my boyfriend has exposed me to so far.

      I dream of visiting Korean, let’s hope both of our dreams come true. I am sure it would be a wonderful adventure. Actually, I’ve never watched Korean shows like 1n2d so I still have a lot to do. :)

      We are relieved that so many people support our decision to stay anonymous. We really didn’t want to turn this blog into “Look, we are so awesome and interesting,” but rather a place where others can find information about Korean boyfriends so they won’t feel lost when starting a relationship with Korean man the way I did.

      • I certainly support the staying anonymous! I wish others would do the same, rather than making their blog into their self exhibition (irrelevant to their topic)! Although I know that there are blogs that has to have that due to their topics too etc. But so far, I’m really enjoying your blog! And I hope both our dreams will come true! heheh

        I love Korean dramas, and 1n2d has really won me over! You should check it out. xx D

            • We didn’t have a strict decision in the beginning either. And it might change. Probably those things just change naturally as the blog develops. Don’t worry :)

              • Yeah I think maybe its as you get more and more involved with your blog you tend to forget to draw a line between the two and topics again factor in and eventually you and your blog are ONE xD :) yeah no need to worry for me LOL!

                Thanks!

  4. aww..this is my first time reading such blog and this is truly sweet!At first I almost think that this is dating site but then I admit that I was wrong after I read the story till the end. You guys must be so happy..I never had a boyfriend my entire life(maybe becoz I’m quite passive naturally). I hardly talk to other guys except if they talk to me first..having a Korean boyfriend would be some sort of my childish dream I think..Although that would never happen but at least it was sweet in my imagination. but I really ship you guys! Hope you had great journey together :D

    • Nah, not dating site :) We are more of a questions and answers site.

      Korean guys are humans too, so never say never. ;)

      Kimchi Man was/is also extremely shy and couldn’t even talk around girls. But then he found me, and I didn’t take no for an answer.

  5. Lovely story :)

    I’m not Korean, and I don’t have any Korean friends. Well.. 1 to be exact.. Someone I got to know 8-9 years ago. He came to my country to study, and I happened to know him. Had a crush on him at that point of time. I am an average girl, which I think he’s not interested in, lol. Nothing happened btwn us, and he had to leave few months later for military back in Korea. We kept in touch a few times after he left.. and he showed me his gf’s photo. Since then, I stopped talking to him.. In recent years, we added each other on facebook. He doesn’t seem to have a gf now.. I don’t know… Somehow, the “interested-in-him” feeling is still there. But we never talk to each other anymore. Tried msging him on fb, but he never read it (I assumed so, cos you can actually see whether a person reads your msg or not in inbox and it doesn’t show that whenever I msg him.. I don’t know why). 2 years back, he dropped a msg on my fb wall, saying he wanna see me. I felt random yet happy and I replied to that saying me too. Since then, no other reply from him either.. Weird? The feeling of “somewhat liking” someone that you barely know sucks. You’re interested to know him more but he’s so far that you couldn’t even get to know him more.
    Just like what kasyira said, it’s like a childish dream T_T

    I am so sorry for all these negative personal story of mine. I read your story and it reminded me of him.. :P

    Anyhoooo, I always feel happy for people who found their loved ones. That kind of happiness, although never tried before, but I could feel it. Good luck in your r’ship with him and I hope you guys will last forever :)

    • Thank you :) It’s not a negative story at all. Not everyone can end up spending their life with us, but they leave us with sweet memories.

      Good luck to you too.

  6. hi there! i absolutely adore reading your beautiful love story. its almost like FAIRY TALE and its so rare to find true love in those situation. i’m happy that you both found each other because you are meant for each other. anyway, i just wanna share to you that a KOREAN guy is courting me and i’m a FILIPINO (from the Philippines) i just want to ask for free advice on how we can get our relationship to work even if we have cultural differences and language problems? looking forward for the FREE TIPS. thanks :)

  7. Hi!
    I really like reading your blog. :) I am Australian and have a Korean boyfriend too, for 2 years now. :) I guess it is a bit different from you because he had lived in Australia for a few years before I met him but he grew up in Korea.
    However, I think he’s still pretty Korean! He has mostly Korean friends, watches Korean TV, speaks Korean at home and with his friends, eats mostly Korean food and buys almost everything from Korea or Korean supermarkets!
    Just like you, I never expected I would have a Korean boyfriend, and didn’t go out with him because of that, but because we had lots of hobbies and aspirations in common and got on really well. Actually I was a bit surprised how similar we are although I grew up in Australia and him in Korea. A lot of my friends parents were born in Asian countries, so they might look Asian but they’re Australian just like me. I think its really nice because there are lots of couples of different backgrounds as they’ve chosen each other based on personality and its not unusual to see young couples of any combination so-to-speak! ;) Although Australian girl-Korean boy is still a rare combination so that’s why I like reading your blog :)
    Anyway, despite what I have said above, most of my boyfriend’s Korean friends say they would never date or marry an Australian girl, although they say they like me and am glad I’m going out with their friend. They all say they want to find a Korean girl. I think its funny because most of them have lived in Australia longer than my boyfriend. I was wondering if your boyfriend’s friends are similar, in that it’s important for them to marry another Korean?

    • Hello and welcome!

      Our situation is a bit different, but only a bit. My boyfriend had his first experience outside of Korea when he came to visit me. But he’s very adaptable and not a complicated person, so you could never guess it was a new experience for him.

      He is very shy among non-Korean people still, though :)

      I’m very surprised your boyfriend’s friends said that.

      Even though my boyfriend’s friends all have a Korean girlfriend, and one is even married to one (no surprise, they do live in Korea after all), they made jokes about going to France and having a go with Kpop fans ^^ Those were just jokes, but I think they reflect their openness to dating non-Korean women.

      Also, it is quite hurtful to say that, even if they privately think it. My boyfriend’s friends have been very careful and tip-toe around my “foreign” feelings.

      Maybe your boyfriend’s friends feel like outsiders in Australia, so it’s their defense mechanism. What do you think?

  8. I thought maybe it was because of their own or their parents wish to maintain Korean traditions now that they are living in Australia, and they may be afraid of losing this if they married an Australian.
    I hadn’t thought about it before but I think your last point might be right, that it’s a defense mechanism and something they are saying but they don’t really feel that they would not want to date or marry someone just because they aren’t Korean.
    I hope your readers won’t be offended by my posts, I know I’m not an expert, this is just my own feelings and experience.
    The reason I like your blog is because is because of all the ways you describe your Korean boyfriend and you being so similar, that’s how I feel too.

    • No one should be offended, you had your experience and share it with others. I think that’s valuable.

      We really are so similar and agree on many things. I never thought I would find my soul mate in such a far away country.

      It makes me feel better about the world to finally realize we humans are more similar than we know it. :) I’m glad you experienced that feeling as well.

  9. I’m wondering if anyone knows of a blog by a Korean guy dating a European or Australian girl? I thought it would be interesting to read from a guy’s perspective too!
    x

    • As far as I know, this is the only blog that is written in English from Korean guy’s perspective. All the other ones are written in Korean.

      Korean guy (my boyfriend) reads every single question and tells me what to write in every post I’ve published so far. It’s just that it’s easier for me to write in English, and I also have more free time than he does.

      On those rare occasions that readers request only he answers their question, he does :) Author: kimchiman11

  10. Lol. Finally a good instance of dating male koreans. Tho i hav to agree about some social pressures makin a lot less datable than others :/

    • The funny thing is, he doesn’t even like Kimchi all that much ^^ He went a whole year without eating it.

      The nickname is due to his best friend, who had come to Europe and we spent two weeks together – he was cracking some jokes about the two of them being Kimchi man, so when we were deciding which nicknames to use my boyfriend chose Kimchi Man to remind us of those good times of laughing and joking :)

  11. Reading your post about your first “in-person” meeting, my head already imagining a scene in one of those k drama…. it’s a good short story, i almost weep….. lol…. but i do have a bad habit of imagining things too much sometimes…. ^_^

    • It’s the most amazing memory for both of us. But we thought we think it’s romantic just because it happened to us. It’s so great to know other people like it too :D Thank you

      • It is romantic, and his reaction when u looked at his hand, that question, it’s soooo k drama, that makes me more curious if it’s normal for any average korean men to be romantic, just like what’s being describe in their k drama series, or is it just the scriptwriter, ^_^

        • Boring answer, I know, but: it really depends on the guy.

          Most guys that care, strive to be romantic, especially in the beginning of the relationship. The way in which they try to express themselves is surely influnced by the media, in Korean guys’ case – the Kdramas.

          Kimchi Man and I don’t care about nor celebrate Valentine’s day, White day and all those Korean love holidays, so as you can see, it really depends on the guy what he considers romantic.

          • i don’t quite agree though, because i think enviorenment took the biggest part of that, lets say in US there many tv show that eplore the sexiness and brutally, that makes the diffrence with the korea or asia country which would alredy been banned by government so most of asia or specially korea tv show have k-drama with many romantic scene every day. how about if we watching that romantic scene every day would us be influence also by that.

            i think it the main reason why guy in korea have more a soft heart , with the soft heart romantic and caring is something woul be followed , believe it or not

            NB : the enviorenment will affect you.
            tv show have positive or negative side.
            the most important is YOU LEARN WHAT YOU SEE ^^

            • I understand what you mean. And I see you recommended some Korean dramas below. Thank you for that.

              But I have to say, I don’t agree with you.

              First of all, most Korean guys don’t watch Korean dramas every day as you say. Some Korean guys, like my boyfriend, never watch ANY Korean dramas. Have you seen any of the Korean movies like Silmido, Breathless, Oldboy, Silenced, May 18…? Those are all amazing movies, and they are dark, full of violence and not a shred of sweet romance.

              Second of all, having soft heart or not is influenced by many things, but tv has to be the least influential there. I watched hundreds if not thousands of American movies, and I don’t go around waving a gun and getting involved in crazy car chases. That’s entertainment, and most grownups know it has nothing to do with how real lives are.

              I agree that you learn what you see, but what you see from your parents, your siblings, your peers… Not tv.

        • k-drama make a big hit in asia in early 90 because of its romantic scene and mellodrama. try watch TREE OF HEAVEN, ENDLESS LOVE, STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN , SUMMER SCENT and a lot more . this is the beginning of k-drama overhelmed asia until now. they are big in this drama.

          try also taiwenese drama or japan drama, it have another taste of ectasy after watching it, my favorite japan drama is ONE LITRE OF TEARS AND KOIZORA SKY OF LOVE, for taiwanese drama i like DEVIL BESIDE YOU and HI MY SWEETHEART ^^

  12. Must be lucky to have a Korean boyfriend. My Korean crush has very strict parents, they won’t even let him play under the rain! So, that means that it would be hard to meet his parents. Mmm, you know what they say. If you’re bound to have a Korean boyfriend, it will happen.

  13. hello, i am a living in seoul by teaching enlglish here, married to a korean man , we have 5years relation and i waited him for 2years beacuse he is getting in military service, right after that long waited 2years he proposed to me with a beautiful ring and saying ” BELIVE ME, I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU FOREVER ”
    while singing in korea song which i translated it as below :

    I WILL TELL YOU ABOUT MY STORY
    ABOUT MY LONG TIME WITHOUT YOU…
    I’M SO SORRY, BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO MAKE YOU SMILE
    DON’T FEEL SORRY AND YOU CAN CRY NOW.
    YOU HAVE BEARED ENOUGH.

  14. Hello, Oegukeen and Kimchi man.

    I’m getting rather confused about the Koreans in my campus. One time, our only Korean boy in class seemed to like hanging out with his buddies. Then, before summer break he stopped hanging out with them (it turned rare, he started avoiding his best friend, Alex Ha).

    They rarely have arguments, but I think this time he did something to disappoint him or he’s the one that got disappointed.

    I showed sympathy to him by being the only one to talk to him. He was rather shy, but he starts to warm up to me.

    We became new friends. I also think he apologized to him because I saw them hanging out again. Yet, I still encouraged him in his studies and English.

    This summer, I’m expecting him to improve in his English. But I’m worried that he’ll not come back. Below are my questions now:

    1. Is it normal for Koreans to avoid their closes friend for weeks?
    2. Are Koreans somehow opened to new friends of opposite gender?
    3. Can it be possible for Koreans to go back to Korea and never return?

    • 1. Koreans are humans :)

      2. This is actually something that not all Koreans agree on. Shortest answer would be: yes, they are. Those that are more traditional may hold the view that men and women can’t really be friends, but those I talked about were all open to friendships with opposite gender. Also, all my friends are guys, and my boyfriend doesn’t mind at all.

      3. I don’t understand this question. Of course it’s possible… What do you mean?

      • 1. Whoops, I forgot. Thx for reminding.

        2. Hmm, a bit confusing. But, helpful.

        3. I mean, after a long school year they have to go back to Korea. I heard that most Korean students in my school just leave and never come back because of racism from parents.

        • I don’t understand this last thing. Their parents let them go once, but not two times because they are racist?

          Also, just like in every other country, not all Koreans are racist.

        • Annyong!
          Hi, i’d like to comment on this one if u don’t mind. ^^

          I don’t think it’s about parent’s racistsm at all when someone went for a purpose of studying abroad then one day when they’ve finished they return to their home country and never come back. Of course their first intention of studying abroad (or their parents intention of sending them) was not to make them a permanent residence, they would like to go back home to be part of their country development, to be able to contribute with the skills and knowledge that they’ve learnt abroad.

          I’m Asian (though not korean – i’m Indonesian), and i think most Asian are quite similar in the basic things, we tend to have a strong cultural root and nationalism, so going home after a long year of studying abroad and never come back is very common, it has nothing to do with racistsm.

          And by the way, since u are new in this relationship so why do u bother on something that is not certain in the future, just enjoy what u hv in the present, take ur time to understand his culture also, it can be exciting to learn new culture and how ppl actually live in the other part of the world with different living value. ^^

          • Thanks for the support. You’re right, I think I understand it now. I forgot to mention that the Korean graduates did not stay here too long :)

          • Of course we don’t mind, we think it is very valuable for our readers to say what they think as well. Thank you for letting us know :)

            I completely agree with you, although I have to say that going home after studying abroad is a common thing everywhere, not just in Asia. It is called home for a reason.

            And I agree it has nothing to do with racism. People go to study abroad mostly to gain new experiences. But to do that they have to leave behind their family, friends, language, customs, everything they are familiar with… of course they are drawn back.

  15. there is a good proverbs in korea and believing by all the country in asia that is :
    ”only being sincere you can move anyone heart ”

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