About Loving Korean

Welcome to Loving Korean. A site written by Oegukeen and helped greatly by Kimchi Man. Check out info about Korean men, Korean tutorials, as well as answers we have given for the most popular of over 200 questions our curious readers have submitted so far.
Loving Korean navigation

having a Korean boyfriend question and answers about Korean dating Korean men culture Cute Korean guy and dating Korean relationships cultural differences and prejudices Korean men face how to learn Korean language quickly tips and textbook reviews

My Korean boyfriend was born and raised in South Korea and I was born and raised in Europe. As I tried to prepare for the difficult journey ahead – with almost 6,000 miles (around 10 000 km) of distance between our countries and expecting culture clashes, misunderstandings and language barriers – I turned to guidance online by people who had already gone through what still lay ahead for me. To my great surprise, information was either scarce or worryingly negative. Still, we didn’t even consider giving up and meeting each other in person became the most important thing in our lives.And then…

I met my Korean boyfriend

dating Korean guys love South Korean manThat night everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. My carefully perfected plan was ruined. After taking 6 hours to get there it turned out the place where I wanted to get the food had been closed for a year, the bus didn’t show up, I spent all the money on a cab fare and, on the day when it was crucial I look my best, I looked exhausted and defeated.

This late at night the airport was in semi-darkness and looked deserted. The time seemed to have both slowed down and sped up. I wanted it to pass, and yet, I wasn’t ready. Slowly, a few people gathered. Among them I saw a few black-haired heads. Asians! That was a good sign.

Finally, the gates opened and people started pouring out. And then… I saw him! I had no trouble recognizing him. After all, I haven’t done much else than stare at his photos for the last few months. He was weaving among people, and every few seconds, I would lose sight of him. He grabbed his suitcase and headed… straight towards me!

Yesterday we were thousands of kilometers apart. Now we were so close we could have touched each other. Could have, had it not been for a huge glass pane dividing the arrivals from people ready to greet them. I motioned towards the doors. Before I knew what had happened I was awkwardly hugging him. I had played this hug in my head hundreds of times. Somehow in my mind I always did it much more gracefully. But then again in my mind he didn’t have that huge backpack on.

Dazed, we both made it out, murmuring, trying to make a conversation, our hearts pounding. In the meantime the missing bus magically appeared and we settled in the seats next to each other.

For the first time I looked at him. Really looked at him. It was my boyfriend. My Korean boyfriend. My Korean boyfriend who I was seeing in person for the first time in my life. My eyes slid from his face along his arms. Muscular arms. Down to his hands resting in his lap. There was that watch, the silver watch I would recognize in an instant because it was on every photo of him I have seen. And his hands were just as manly and beautiful as in the photos.

“Is this what you want?”

I looked up to see him smiling at me. My eyes went down again to his hand but this time it wasn’t resting in his lap. It was outstreched, palm-upward, ready for me to hold it. Big smile settled in on my face as our hands wrapped around each other.

Actually, nothing had gone wrong that night.

Korean boyfriend foreign girlfriend Loving Korean

We’ve been through a lot, both together and now apart, but not for a moment did either of us regret it.

If you have a Korean guy you like, or if you are already in a relationship with one, we are happy to have been able to share our experiences and tell you what we have learned, but we would also love to hear any tips that you might have .

Don’t miss our newest answers and other goodies we publish – get prompt notifications in your inbox with “Follow via Email” function in the sidebar. We don’t publish often, so we won’t flood your inbox.

346 thoughts on “About Loving Korean

  1. I wish i could share some good news again but things happened the way i didn’t expect it to be. He totally ignored me and has already seen every message of mine in kakaotalk and also in facebook and yet, he didn’t even bother to give me a short reply. I finally knew what i really meant to him now. I asked from his brother’s friend and he said i should give him up since he is not worthy of any of my effort. I decided to stop hoping and to stop waiting for his reply. I also want to stop sending him messages which i think is the best way. I am really hurting and feeling worthless and ugly to be rejected that way. I just wanted to ask if what i’m about to do is the best way, which i guess, you would agree so much. And what should i do? I really feel sad. I hope one day i’ll find someone like your Kimchi Man and have a wonderful love story too. Take care and thank you~ continue posting because everything really helps a lot of people like me. Thank you so much for everything~~ though things between us didn’t work, i’m still really grateful to you! :)

    • Yes, I agree that there is no point to continue pursuing him.

      But please don’t think that his disinterest is in any way reflection on you. It doesn’t mean you are worthless nor ugly. Actually, it doesn’t mean you got rejected either.

      Of course it is imposibble not to take it personally and be hurt, I would be hurt too, but just think of it in a way that you are not a good match for him, but that doesn’t make you better of worse than him, just different.

      Of course you will find someone, don’t give up, and good luck :)

      P.S. We are really really glad that you found our site helpful despite that this story of yours didn’t have a happy ending.

  2. Hello! I am a 16yr old girl from the phil. And i am dating a korean guy now. My classmate :) he is actually 18 now. I browsed the internet on how to surprise him but when i read your article, it really convinced me that true love cant wait. Actually, im telling this since he will have to go to another city or maybe even US to study for college. I dont want that ;( but you inspired me to wait hihi. And honestly, we are having a secret relationship since my parents wont let me have a boyfriend yet. But guess what? We already had our 100th day anniversary. OMG it was so romantic because he made me go somewhere filled with chairs then there is a microphone and speakers in front. He actually sang for me ^^ then after that, we had our dinner at a 5star hotel.haha lol we did ninja moves just to make things happen.but now, can i ask a suggestion on how can i surprise him for the 200th day? :))

    • That sounds wonderful :) I’m happy you’re having a good time.

      Honestly, don’t take any advice from us on that! We both suck at it. We never celebrated any anniversaries, Valentine day, White day or anything like that. We enjoy much more to be relaxed and not worry about it. But majority of people are not like us at all so I’m sure it will make him happy no matter what you choose to do.

  3. Hey :)
    I am in love with a korean man as well…
    Everyone around me says I’m too naiv…because I barely know him for 3 weeks.
    But I just fell in love. And I can’t change that! (and I don’t want to change)
    We met online and started talking on kakaotalk.
    Everything happenend really fast.
    He made plans to visit me in October in Germany and I’m sooo excited!
    If we think, we still get along so perfect I will move to Korea and marry him next year.
    We want to have our own cute and happy family!
    Many people think it’s too fast…I can understand that, but why should I wait if I want to be with him forever??
    I’m already his girlfriend and he cares a lot about me. If we meet in real life I will tell him that I love him. We don’t want to say that before.
    Something like that never happend to me before!
    I also surprised about that, but it just feels so right!?

    Btw…u have a wonderful blog!
    It encouraged me a lot!
    Thank u :D

    • Wow, 3 weeks and already planning to move in together. That IS fast :) But if you two are happy, who cares what others think.

      I’m so happy you like our blog. I hope you have wonderful time when he comes for a visit.

      • Haha yes I know xD
        I’m a bit scared ;) But I have a good feeling (and usually I’m not dumb)!

        Have a nice weekend :D

  4. Hi OEGUKEEN i found your website and its really interesting and it might help me ok so i met this korean guy like 3 year ago and then we met again now he is younger then me so he even call me noona and i like him like i can’t live without him, we have been text, chat and even go out but the problem is that guy sometime ignore my text or call for all day when i ask him to go out or having a quick lunch and the next morning he’ll text me agin and acting that he never receive my text and its make me really mad, is it the korean man really like to ignore text ??? why he just can’t say no to me Please help me…. Thank you for made this website :)

      • His phone just working fine, its just confused me we really close when we text he even say that he love me i dont is it true or just joking it looks like we really close, he even said that i should go out with him when i have boyfriend now im single, he don’t said that again,if he really like me and want to go out with me he should not ignore me right? is it korean man dont really care about woman feeling??? thanks for the time to reply

        • I’m sorry, I really don’t know what is on that guy’s mind but it is far too silly to say that all Korean men don’t care about women’s feelings. Of course that some do and some don’t.

  5. Sigh, I am a korean guy living in an european country and it’s really difficult to date a white female or a non-asian girl. Is it an advantage if you are living in South-Korea when it comes to dating non-asian girls? Maybe it’s easier to find someone in a dating online site but that is just ridiculous that an asian guy has to do that in order to get attention.

    • Well, it would make sense that it’s easier in Europe since there are so many more non-Korean women there than there are in Korea. And I’ve never been to Korea, and neither did we use dating sites. So it’s possible to happen.

      Why do you think they mind that you’re Asian?

    • 안녕! 다시 나야! (Idk if that the right expression to say It’s Me Again!) Kkkkkkk

      I can’t help but notice that most of the people post is about how much a non-korean want to date korean, or a korean who wants to date a westerner. Uhm… why are you all so burden about all these things? In my opinion, you just need to take it easy.
      In Oeguken & Kimchi man case, i think it’s not about a korean/non korean date hunt, they just go with the flow, and found out that they ‘click’ to each other afterward. I personally think that it’s just a side effect/bonus from their sincere friendship. The fact that they are from different races is not the point.

      So, maybe you should be more relax. Change your goal from ‘finding a date’ to ‘finding more friends’ (sincere and good friends). Thus, you’ll be able to show more of who/how you really are, plus, able to see them the way they are. When there is a chemistry match then the bonus from your sincere friendship is a date.

      but uhm, if you insist, i think why Asians who join friendship site (like penpal) get more chances on meeting a date from different race is bc they have limited their search result, so the people who are responding are ppl who have had interest in Asian culture in first place (and Asian persons offcourse), so it is easier to get close when you share a mutual interest.

      Hope it is insightful ;)
      잘 지내! ^^

      • While I agree with everything you said (I truly believe it was great for us to start out as one of many penpal friends, and then slowly notice there is something more there), I think this man’s problem stems from the fact that he lives in Europe.

        If he wants to date someone he almost doesn’t have a choice but to date a non-Korean woman.

  6. oooh such a nice story~~

    i have a korean boyfriend before he asked me to marry me
    but suddenly after 2months he broke up with me~ T_T it breaks my heart
    hope i can meet the right guy for me…. a person who is really a real man and serious.

  7. Wow your story is so cute. I just never had great experiences with Korean guys before. They always tend to confused me with the ways they do things. I’m so glad that I came across your website. Can you please lend me your insight on my questions below? Thanks.

    1.) Had this Korean ex who had to go back to Korea due to his financial problems and we broke up about two years ago because of it. We agreed to be friends but recently it seen like he blocked me on Facebook. I never really post anything on his wall or message him so I wasn’t bothering him, so I have no idea why he would do that. Do you think you could give me some kind of explanation for this?

    2.) Korean classmates that I had a crush on and my friend thought it’s funny to add him on Facebook and he actually accepted her friend request. I later added him which he accepted too, but I found out that he deleted both me and my friend from his friends list and after a year. Is that common? Also just by looking at his currently page on he seen to had changed, so does that had to do with his 2 year duty in the military?

  8. What a lovely story! I’m a Korean, so it’s really interesting to see how Koreans might be seen to people from other countries. (My boyfriend is also a Korean, too obvious, though :D)

    • Thank you :D

      Yeah, it must be strange for you to see Korea through our eyes.

      Haha, it’s not obvious at all because you are first Korean woman to comment on this site :) Please share your opinion whenever you want. It would be very valuable to us.

  9. Hi,
    I’m French and 1 year ago I had a korean boyfriend. We were happy together but his parents was against our relationship (they didn’t want a “foreigner”) and the pastor of his Church adviced him to break up because of cultural differences and to be a “good son” for his parents. We broke up because of that. I was very confused and I still am because I was very happy. I’m studying korean language and civilisation and I know it’s difficult for european girls to be with a korean guy. I’m glad to see your beautiful story and I’m still waiting for my beautiful story…

    • Hello,

      I’m sorry you had a bad experience. Seeing what pastor did I am glad Kimchi man is an atheist ^^

      Don’t worry, it’s really not difficult to be with a Korean guy when you find one who is ready to sacrifice a bit for you and who has a nice family. Don’t lose hope :)

  10. Hi girls. I’m also in a relationship with a Korean guy. To be honest… my fam loves him!! Especially the old generation lol. He’s got everything that a girl’s wanting. He respects me, he’s loyal, he stays with me even tho his school already finished. The only thing that annoys me is the fact that his parents have so much to say. He’s 26, but everytime we sit together, I cannot even say a word while he’s having a conversation with his parents (we live together). He’s such a momma’s boy..

    • Hello,

      Yeah my parents also love how incredibly polite my Korean boyfriend is :)

      It could be he’s momma’s boy but it could also be Korean culture. Younger people are expected to keep quite unless asked something by older people.

      Although, that is ok if you visited them every now and then but it’s a bit too much to ask since you live with them. Are they speaking in Korean when this happens? Do you know Korean?

      • No, I don’t live with him in Korea. I’m from Poland and this is where we live together. The thing is he knows my whole family, but he told his parents about me like a month ago, they don’t even take this relationship seriously, when actually we’re planning our future together. They don’t even know we live together…. every time they speak on the phone I have to pretend I’m not there and sit quiet. It’s so annoying. We had a discussion about this like a few times, but still the same. I know it’s one of these differences between our cultures. I’m very patient when it comes to this, but I feel like this relationship can be destroyed because of that.

        • That is why it can be also an advice to all these women chasing Asian guys. You need to be open and tolerant, because the truth is – it’s two different worlds.. My man became more European since he’s here for a while now, but he’s still Korean and it will always stay this way. I’m not trying to say that I don’t respect that, because I truly do, but at the beggining it was one of the reasons we were fighting almost everyday. I do some things he doesn’t understand and vice versa. Now we try to explain to each other the differences so there’s no misunderstandings between us.

          • I can understand it’s annoying but is he just hiding it from his parents or from his friends as well?

            If it’s just from his parents then it’s obviously about his relationship with them and not his relationship with you.

            I also think it matter how seriously Korean man is taking his culture. Kimchi Man and I just do what makes sense to us, not what our cultures dictate and so far we didn’t even notice any cultural differences!

            His parents knew when we lived together, they even asked to see me over Skype and said hello.

            But as I said, if he’s behaving normally around his friends and other people, then it’s just his relationship with his parents that’s strained.

            • No, he is just hiding it from his parents.. so yea, maybe you’re right. I hope we will find a solution and he will tell his parents about US. I just don’t want any surprises like they will not accept me as his girlfriend after they find out about us

            • There is no way for you to get the guarantee his parents will approve. But I don’t think the chances are any worse than if you were dating a Polish guy.

  11. Hi! I just want to know if how korean guys/boyfriend can really handled a relationship most of it”Long distance Relationship”..heres my story:

    Im 21 year old girl and im a filipina, my korean boyfriend is 22 and actually he lived in L.A but he stayed at the seoul korea with his family because he and his sister was studying at korea.. My boyfriend is studying at Yonsei University, a college student, major in music.. My boyfriend and I met first in Skout.com we started chatting last march 2013, we became friends actually and became a real closed friends.. One day WE decided to transfer our conversation in Kakaotalk App. So that we can comunicate easily, and he dont want some other people csn disturbed us while were comunicating.. He is a Jelousy person he confessed to me… And he have a 3 ex, but he saud to me that all of his ex are bitches.. LOL.. Coz his cheated.. Then i comfort with him because of what happened to him.. Im giving some advices, and he did also gving some advices to me, im also sharing my past to him.. Then its cool coz we really understand each other.. And then one time he confessed with me that he fall in loved with me, then i was shock coz unexpected, he asked with me if we can be together even if its a long distance telationship. Then i said yes to him.. We’ve been together 2nd week of july 2013.. He was so sweet, were still communicating from time to time.. Moring till evening.. He always saying to me, he cant wait to marry me, he always lloking forward to our future, he says he loved me so much, he missess me alot… BUT we dont do skype!!! Im the one who wants to comunicate on skyp’e, because i want yo see him of course. But he always says sooon next time, or on my birthday this august 30.. Even if we didnt do skype he always sending his picture to me with his family, himself and his video singing while playing a piano, he have a wonderful voice. And were the same actually :)

    One day he got a job, eorkingstudent, every single day i felt he changed.. Our comunication was affected, in morning 5 min only our comunicstion, in evening 30 min. Unlike the old times.. I understand that both of us are working now… If im on the break im leaving him my message sometimes he did also but sometimes Not.. Some times he is a Talkshit, he cant keep his promises,, the last friday night, i was opened with him my probkems reg. on our telationship. I asked him if he still can handled withthis or not, ciz every single day his changed, i explained to him what fid he do… Then i asked him uf he still want to continue he said “its up to u” lols! Whatta shit answer i felt he dont care.. Then he also opened that we need some space and not talking in 3 days, fine i undestand but next saturday morning, i opened my kakaotalk and he is not on my list now, he blocked me! I thought space? Why he did blocked ne? I guess if he wants to break up maybe he told me imediately right? He left me … Im a hang right now.. He left me easily… This is the last day of our space .. Monday .. If he didnt message me tomorow. And if he still blocked me at kakao, do u think he only lied to me? I should forget him now?

    Pls help me… :( you can email me…

    • Hi,

      Thank you for taking your time to write such a long comment.

      But could you please copy-paste it to our “ask us” section? We’re trying to keep all the questions in one place and also that way the questions are queued so we know in which order to answer.

      Thank you so much.

      • I already post it on ask us… We already talk again, but last night when i asked with him if his mother knows about us, he said his monther still not know about us, he prefer not to tell his mother about us, coz he reasons his mom will ask annoying questions… Now i find i guess he only plying around, i ask it again if he really love me, he said yes and alot.. I was asking to myself how can he say he loved me if he cant tell to his mom about us and we didnt do skype or face tome just to see each other,, hmmm im so confused… I guess i need to end now, but before i end this can u tell me some advices.. Thanks

        • Have you met in person? I guess if you haven’t tried video chatting or you haven’t date for real before then don’t you think it’s quite awkward for him to tell something about you to his mom? Just a piece of advice.

        • I believe that, most of the time, Koreans would only tell/introduce their boyfriends/girlfriends to their parents if they are already getting married.

    • Hello Mimi :) I have just come across your story and i’m in shock now! Your description of your Korean boyfriend suits my ex one perfectly! He was 22,lived in La, He was playing piano very well, we were communicating through Kakaotalk . He had also said his past girlfriends were bitches because they cheated on him.His love confession to me was a sudden one. He even proposed me. Maybe you won’t believe me but he exactly said that he couldn’t wait marrying me and having children etc.We also didn’t chat on Skype.. he never mentioned to chat on skype and i didn’t ask its reason. We’ve stopped talking since 2nd week of July!!! Perhaps these are just coincidences, i’m not sure but i feel something fishy about him and when i saw your comment, i couldn’t wait to write to you. If he is a big liar and he does all of these things to other girls too, i’m planning to sue him. I didn’t delete any of his messages as proof. He should be punished, if your boyfriend and mine are the same person. I hope you can see my message. Thank you..

  12. It is such a sweet love story that you and your Korean boyfriend have. It is not easy to find a positive aspect of dating a Korean man due to social pressures. I wonder how long have you guys been talking till you guys actually met? and how did you guys maintain the relationship?

    I am dating a Korean guy too..we just started like a month ago, and I am going to meet him in November. I am getting so very excited yet nervous about it.
    We both have a mixed feeling about our situation, we couldn’t help but fell in love despite culture clashes, misunderstandings and language barriers (indeed….he can’t speak English, he has been using google translate to communicate with me most of the time) to be honest..I really appreciated what he does for me, because I know its a pain in the neck to do this, but he did that for me, but at the same time i am scared….we are both so happy but in much anxiety, because we both afraid this won’t work. Like our friends both think that the chances of us being together for long is slim to none. It really hurts my feelings just thinking about it. However, even so, we still couldnt help but falling in love.. :'(

    I am quite stressed out sometimes, because I can’t really tell my other friends. They would probably think I am crazy doing these kind of virtual and unrealistic so called relationship. Then my other concern is, even we have tried our best to maintain the relationship, I am not sure what his family feels about this. Like he said, most Korean family prefer to maintain to keep the Korean tradition, so I assume his family is no exception.

    Done venting…hahhaa….thanks for “listening”

    Please help me. I am lost @@

    • I’m going to venture a guess that if you two could actually communicate you would see that culture clashes and misunderstandings would completely disappear.

      Google Translate? Oh my! I wouldn’t trust Google Translate to help me with online shopping, let alone a relationship.

      This for me seems to be a biggest problem. And in my humble opinion, it is a huge problem.

      We don’t have any problems with Korean tradition, family, ‘virtual’ relationship etc simply because we can talk about it all and solve our issues easily. I think being unable to do that is what’s making you so anxious.

      And “Finally, welcome to 21st century,” tell that to your friends who think it’s an unusual thing for couples to meet online.

      • hmm….so far, the problem does’t seem to exist “yet” haha….yes…he has been using that a lot, and of course we both know that we can’t trust and rely on google translate fully. haha. And when the translation seems weird, I would confirm with him if that is the exact meaning that he was trying to express. so there are times we need to “explain” things in a more detail ways. hahaha….

        I can see that it would be a problem in a long run, this is what concerned us a lot.
        He always tells me not to be worried, just be brave and face it together and he believe things should be able to solved. But like I said..and you can see, language became a huge problem. =(

        hahaha….I tried to talk to my very close friend. and she kept telling me that she doesn’t believe in such relationship, not to mention our case (language barrier) would make it 0 percent to work our way out…grrrr….depressing..haha

        How did you guys make it possible? did you guys have to travel back and forth a lot to see each other?

        • Well, if he is determined to make the relationship work then of course it is possible. And besides, things aren’t static, everything in out lives changes. He can learn English better. (I would say you can learn Korean as well but it takes ages to learn a language from scratch, still, why not start? :) )

          He comes to visit me in Europe as often as possible. I sadly can’t travel so I haven’t been to Korea yet. He lived with me for a year, it was amazing. Now we are apart again :(

          Aside from missing each other, and having a bit of difficulty in finding time to talk to each other every day, we don’t really have any other problems in the relationship.

          Maybe you need more supportive friends?

          • It made me feel slightly better after talking to you. Thanks so much~~

            Indeed, he told me he would learn English, he has been complaining English is really really really difficult. Vice versa, I think Korean is really hard too. haha. Well, I hope things will work out if we are determined, still early to say. He also mentioned that he would come here to take some language course, but I don’t its going to happen any time soon, or at all. Well, who knows. haha…:)) maybe I should just enjoy the moment now.

            It’s good to know that you guys dont have any other problems, such an inspiring story. ^^

    • Hello!

      If you mean are we still in a relationship, yes we are. But we are not physically together, he’s in Korea and I’m Europe.

      I don’t speak Korean yet, but I’m learning.

      • Oh.. Were in the same situation. Im in the phil, hes in korea.. so hows your relationship? Do u have plans on going back to korea? Or is he gonna visit u there? Im planning to go to korea next year but just for a week.. its really hard having a long distance relationship..but u guess its also a challenge right. tho miles apart he makes me happy.. Hope we can be together soon.

        • I’ve never been to Korea, but we plan to live together there some day.

          You can read about our plans here.

          It is difficult being apart. But sometimes you just don’t have a choice. We haven’t seen each other for 7 months.

          • I havent seen my bf for 3mos now. He plans to live here in the philippines, he likes here because of mango and mangosteen not me lol.. hes just saving more money now that what he keeps on telling me.. Hes working hard evryday and sometimes im worried that he might be working too hard.. I wish i was there to comfort him or make him feel good but all i can do is to send messages or call him. Its really hard.im excited to see him again and soon to live with him.. did u tell here how u met him? share more of your stories with him when u were together. ^^

  13. Hi! I’ m just in grade 8, and my Korean crush is in Grade 9. I really want to talk to him but I’m really shy although I know (a little) how to speak Korean. I have a friend/ classmate that is really close with him, she helped me to talk with that Korean but it’s just *hi, hello* and he just did it because my friend pleased him. I really want that Korean to say hi with me without being pleased by my friend. And if he will talk to me i get panic.But whenever that Korean and I (only) will see each other it’s like nothing happened. You know, I really want to talk to him but I’m really really shy and I’ m always thinking that he won’t like me as his friend. What shall I do? Help me.

    • Hello :)

      I guess the problem you have is the one all teenagers face and not just those that want to talk to Koreans. If anything, you have an advantage over other as I’m rather sure he would be impressed seeing you attempt to speak Korean language, even if it is not perfect.

Comment (you DON'T need to fill in e-mail address)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.