This is the place where our readers asked questions about
- dating a Korean guy,
- having a Korean boyfriend,
- South Korean dating culture,
- …
in the comment section below.
Check out answers section, which you can always find by clicking on the menu on top, to see long in-depth answers we have given, mostly relating to relationships with Korean men. Our answers in the comments below are somewhat shorter, but can still be useful if you’re in a similar situation.
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For older questions and our answers see Ask Us Archive
539 responses to “Ask us”
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Hi, this blog has been very informative for me about dating a Korean guy (or just a guy in particular, as you’ve said). However, i’m still clueless when it comes to my relationship with one.
We have been talking every day for two weeks and jokingly tell each other “saranghae!” and “Benyang!” (the latter being a nonsense word we made up). He has called me cute multiple times and we feel comfortable talking to each other. All my friends tell me he HAS to like me if he does these things but… I wonder if he is just kidding around or if he really does like me. I’m a very self conscious person and I don’t like doing things first so i’ve been waiting for him to make the first move but…
Anyway, I was wondering what you thought? Or if there was any way to see if he likes me without being direct? I don’t want to scare him away… And if he does like me, as it seems, then why hasn’t he asked me anything? Help!
Some extra information about us:
He has asked me if he could have a picture to set as his phone’s background.
He calls me cute, as I said before.
He messages me all day if he can.
We have video called for hours but can’t right now because the signal is bad.
We have never met in person.Thanks!!
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Hello. We are happy we provided good information to you :)
Yeah, it seems like he likes you. However, that doesn’t neccessarily means that he is serious about it all. Of course he may be, but it’s difficult to tell just from reading this.
Maybe he’s too shy to say something? My boyfriend certainly was :)
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So sorry I didn’t update you sooner.
As I am an extremely shy person, I often choose to wait for people to make the first move… However, because I started liking him so much, I finally got up the nerve to do something. I started a “random question” game and asked, after we got comfortable, what he thought of me as: a good friend, or something else. After a little bit of digging around he finally said “A girlfriend babo!!” and we have been dating ever since! Later he told me he was “dying” of how dense I am. I couldn’t be happier. Thank you!!
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My 20 year old daughter has been attending university in Seoul Korea for almost a year. She is a very beautiful, American, girl. She is a kind hearted and thoughtful person. Shortly after she arrived in Korea she met a very nice young Korean Man from a nearby university. He is 1 and 1/2 years older than her. She had several men pursue her, but she decided on ducky because he was very polite and kind and compatible. He made it clear that he wanted to be her boyfriend and have an exclusive relationship. This was my daughter’s first boyfriend. Well, he treated her very well and they fell in love. Both declared their love. He could not live without her and wrote her the most beautiful love letters ever. He even took her home to meet her parents and they called her his wife! now, 3 months later, right in the middle of exams he tells her he is no longer in love with her and wants to break it off. He tells her this on the phone. She is devastated. The week before they were walking happily along the Han river discussing what they would name their children. He even told her he wanted her family to come to Korea this summer and to meet them. We purchased tickets because he wanted this and then a week later he broke up! She is very, very, confused and distraught. They have not had sex because it is against my daughter’s religion to do this before marriage. She is devout Christian. He respected her for this. They did have very passionate kissing. They seemed to get along so well. She was happier than she had ever been in her life. One thing he never did was change his Facebook status from being “single,” to “in a relationship.” this always seemed odd to me. He said he didn’t want people to gossip. Also, he is the president of his class and has many responsibilities involved with that. It caused him to attend class meeting for the past months every Friday night. I felt this was suspicious, but I do know this is typical in Korea for duty to include social events. Then 3 days after the breakup he put a “you tube,” song on his face book page that was all about missing and loving the person he just broke up with and it sang, Come back to me.” What the heck was that about? It is all so strange and confusing. Do you have any advice for my daughter. She loves him but does not want to be a door mat and run to him. She wants him to come back to her. She was going to stay another year in Korea but has been so sad and alone and decided to return home to America. Thank you
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Hello,
I’m really sorry that happened to your daughter. It must even more difficult to handle since she is far away from home.
But I hope she will reconsider returning home early. After all, she came to Korea to attend University, not to be with this man.
I admit it is unusual he introduced her to his parents, only to change his mind so quickly. But they are both very young, and not many people are as serious and as committed as your daughter at that age.
It may very well be that he was honest and really believed what he said but genuinely changed his mind.
As far as Facebook goes, I wouldn’t rely on it as any source of information or explanation. I know I am in minority, but I hate broadcasting my private life like that. I was also hesitant to show my boyfriend on Facebook, not because I wasn’t proud of him, but because many of my Facebook “friends” aren’t real friends, so I couldn’t vouch that they would act decently, or wouldn’t say something embarrassingly stereotypical or even racist. In real life, I am proud to hold his arm and let everyone know.
Either way, I hope your daughter never returns to someone who treated her that way, even if he comes begging for forgiveness.
I also hope you keep your plane tickets, and visit your daughter in Korea. It is a wonderful and fascinating country and you will undoubtedly enjoy your visit.
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Hi~~ this blog is really great! :) thank you for answering every questions in here which helps us understand korean men. Haha. There’s this korean guy that had been so close to me, and we chat with each other almost everyday. But for the past 2 weeks, he didn’t send me any messages. I’m starting to get frustrated since i think i do like him and i thought he felt the same way. He started avoiding me. All my messages for him were already read but he didn’t even replied. I already told him that i like him yesterday but still, he just read it and didn’t even bother to reply. I don’t know what to do since he’s really sweet to me. ㅠㅠ hope you could help me. Thank you~~
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Well, unfortunately, he looks he is not interested in you if he ignores whatever you write. If you still like him, tell him again that can you be my boyfriend? and get the clear answer so you know if you have to give up or not. Otherwise, he won’t reply to anything.
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Hi, and thank you!
I’m afraid if you told him you like him but he’s doesn’t even have the common decency to reply, then you have nothing to hope for, and he’s not as sweet as you think.
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Hello. How do I go about writing this.. I chanced upon this space when I was searching for “dating a Korean guy”. I am only 19 but I hope I won’t be judged because of my age.. so here goes.. It might be a little lengthy, I apologize for that in advance..
This guy, is 27 (or 28). I remembered the first time I talked to him, I wished I never did or will not talk to him anymore because it seems like I am talking to someone without a soul, or someone who I find difficulty in communicating with. My colleagues said he hardly spoke because he was too shy, and maybe he is not confident enough with as his English might be weak.
Honestly, I thought since he hardly spoke to anybody .. then we would just remain as merely ‘hi-bye’ friends, and that’s it. The thought that he will become more than just a ‘hi-bye’ friends did not cross my mind before until.. I am given more opportunities to communicate with him due to our work needs.
And gradually I realized that he’s someone nice, and he’s really cute. We only exchange small talks, and it’s nothing “deep” but I still find myself drawn to him.. & I realized we, or rather he seems to be more comfort than the first conversation we had.
Sigh and that’s when the problem comes in. I mean I always behave shyly around people I like, unlike how I behave around other colleagues. I tried to act normal around him but I feel so awkward, and I can’t bring myself to start a conversation like how I used to (When I used to see him the same just like any colleagues) . And him being him, being shy.. he don’t start a conversation too. Or he started to maybe ask one question, I answered and then I don’t reciprocate.. it became so awkward being in the same space.
I tried to shove all these feelings/thinking away because there are so much to consider aside from just feelings…
I know he’s not married but I don’t know if he’s attached. I am dying to know but I am too shy to ask him, and I don’t want him to think that I am interested or what. I mean it will become so awkward if he doesn’t reciprocate the same way I am feeling..
And, I think he’s going back on for a short stay. and I read how Koreans family and friends arrange blind dates for those who are above 25 and single. The thought of him going for blind dates really …
I don’t know what to expect too, maybe he has a girlfriend. I just feel like sharing and maybe receive some advice or something…
Thank you in advance..
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I am not sure what you are asking about. In general, the only reason we don’t speak out is that we are not fluent at speaking English. I’m one of them, unfortunately. I have been living in Canada for more than 5 years and my English is still weak to make friends. So, I barely talk when I am with Canadians… which is not good..
We have a Korean proverb that the brave man can get a girl. In my view, if he is not brave enough to talk in English, well, he is out of luck. If you have any questions about Korean guys, let me know. -
Haha, don’t worry, you’re gonna have to be a lot older than 19 before you experience being judged because of your age.
I am also shy person, but Kimchi Man is ten times more shy plus he told me once how he had the most awkward and uncomfortable silence with some girl and after that decided to never see her again. That was all I needed. I swallowed my shyness and took matters into my own hands. I wasn’t going to get such a great guy get away because I was scared it might go wrong.
I decided then and there that loosing something potentially great will be worse than embarrassing myself.
I think you need to do the same. Imagine making the move, succeeding and him turning out to be the man of your dreams, now imagine everything going wrong, him not being interested in you at all and you getting hurt. Is the gain of the former worth the risk of the latter? Only you can decide.
Don’t worry about the blind dates though. Just because you heard some Koreans do it doesn’t mean he will as well.
As far as him having a girlfriend, I had a boyfriend when I met Kimchi Man…. :)
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Hi Oegukeen! I wanted to reply only when he came back. so, I’m sorry for the late reply…
First of all, thank you so much for your advise. Just wanna to give you a little update on how things are going lately ..
I took the initiative to text him on the day before he fly off, and he was surprised that I actually did.. To be honest, I am still in a dilemma in making the first move. Yes… I know .. after a good one month, and I still can’t make up my mind as I came to realize he’s not someone who can keep the conversation going, or maybe he’s just not interested. I can never know what’s on his mind…
And I found out that he doesn’t have a girlfriend yet, however I am leaving the workplace soon.. so .. perhaps I don’t know.. it might be harder to stay in contact then…
I hope you and kimchi man are doing good, I love your blog!!!
x, Amanda.
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Would Koreans date african-americans?
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Well, I’m not sure. Why people all over the world should care of the background?
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Hello,
We already answered that question Would Koreans date African-American. We hope it clears it up.
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Hello you sweet people!
A korean guy said this to me the other day:그냥 한국말로하면 엄청 잘할수있는데!!
아휴 답답하다진짜It’d be awesome if you could tell me what it means.
Thank you :)-
If I spoke Korean, I would have said what I wanted to say with no problem.
Speaking the second language drives me crazy.-
is that what it says?
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Translation:
“If I could just say it in Korean then I can do It A LOT better!
I feel really frustrated.”-
Haha… i put it in a translation tool, and i came out a bit awkward, but now i can make sense of it. Learning 하국어 is challenging, i have to mixed my head a bit due to its word order. Lol.
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Thanks Shin, Kimchi man for answering. Thanks Linda for trying. ^^
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Loving Korean 
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