Ask us

This is the place where readers asked the questions in 2013 about

dating Korean guys, having Korean boyfriend, South Korean dating culture,…

in the comment section below.

Check out answers section which you can also find by clicking the drop-down menu “Posts” above to see answers we have given so far.

You can find out here why we’re not taking any new questions.

For older comments and questions see Ask Us 2012 Archive

539 thoughts on “Ask us

  1. Hi. First off I want to say I love reading each post you guys leave. They’re very helpful and five a bit of clear mind.
    so my store begins not so ling ago.
    its been more than a month ago since I met this Korean guy. Well, I met him at a Korean mart by the small restaurants that are in it. He is a Korean guy that works and had taken my order that evening. Ok. So it all comes down to this. I noticed that since the first day of seen him, he acted so nice to me. I was just with my younger sister that day, and we had ordered too much for just two people. I had gone to ask him if I could get a take out tray in order to take the food that we couldn’t finish (which is very common for my sisters and I to do at restaurants in order to not waste good food). When id asked for the tray he had doubled asked me if I was sure I wasn’t gonna need a bag as well, but my self said no. I remember that I ended needing a bag to bag up the small tray. The thing that happened next was something that no guy had ever done for me, especially when it was something simple I could do. He decided to bag my tray and took a bit of time to tie it properly for me and still told me how to untie my bag.
    *I hope I’m making sense so far…
    About a week and so days my sister and I went back to eat at the same place as usual, and again he was there taking orders. It was my sisters birthday and I had taken her out because Korean food is her favorite. (Hint: we are not Koreans, we are Hispanic). I did get shy this time around to order food, but I went ahead. I noticed that he was shacking a bit, but seemed happy to see us again. This time though we ordered a correct amount of food for the amount of people we were. Yet, we had forgotten to get the right amount of silverware for each person, so I went ahead to ask for the amount needed. As I asked, he joked around with me and double asked me if I was sure I needed what I asked for or more. Making me rethink, and we both laughed BC he seemed to have been referring to the first day we met and my indecisive self. Then the thing I found was that he decided to throw in a few Spanish words to me, like ‘thank you,’ right when I was going back to my seat. It went back and forth the next few visits I made with my sisters.
    About 3 wks ago id gone to eat again to the same restaurant BC the food is good their, but this time with a friend and both my sisters. I’d shown my friend that he acts really nice with me and as well with my sisters. She noticed that he did as well and that he looks at me often. So that night my younger sister decided to leave him my number after finding out that he is 20 a yr older than me. Not until after she did that did I find out by her, but I never expected for him to contact me but to throw away the piece of paper.
    After 2 wks of not going BC I was embarrassed at the same time, I received a message. It was him, the Korean guy who works at the restaurant. We ended up texting back and forth, not so much but kinda getting to know each other a bit; as well,he had asked me if we were going to go anymore to eat at the restaurant. I had asked him straightforward if bed been waiting for us, and he’d replied “sorta”. The next day my sister was going through my call history and we noticed that he had called me the same week he had received my number, but I’d missed it BC I was at work.
    that same day my sister convinced me to go see him at the restaurant. So we ended up going. He’d explained that he’s been working so he can’t really reply so quick to me and as well we talked about how common it is that I work at a beauty supply and he used to work at beauty supply wholesale. I ordered my food after that as well. Yet, when my food was ready to go get it. He ended up not ringing the bell with my number, he decided to personally bring my food to me and my sisters. And this is where my questions start.
    he kept looking over at where my sisters and I were at. I noticed though that he probably has been talking about me to his coworker- his coworker had came out and was talking with him and id noticed that his coworker kept glancing over at us and talking back with him, giving me that thought.
    After my sisters and I had finished eating we ended up saying goodbye. Right after we left, he texted me telling me it was nice seeing me again.
    its been a few days now and we have texted each other. Getting to know things like religious and as well our working times, what we have done/got during the holidays. Things like that.
    my question is though. He acts so nice and all. Which I haven’t met a guy to act this different with me. Why is that? Does he probably like me? What should I probably expect? Any advice?

  2. Hi, my name is Valentine i’m from France, first of all i love your website! okay so please listen to what i’ll say and tell me your opinion please. I am an high school student (senior) and i have a lot of pals in korea but there is one boy, we know each other for almost 3 years and half, we are the same age, we never meet and i like him. But, at first he always complimented me saying i was pretty and all, we chatted a lot and for the first 2years we were really close, we would always say that we must meet each other by all mean, sending heart and all, but for the past few months, he became more distant, i always initiate the conversation but he don’t always answer because of school so it became ?awkward? when we talk. But for a time i thought ‘ohh he might like me a bit, he is always so adorable with me’ (he sent me present but he do not anymore,, he used to try his best to talk with me but now he does not, he always told me not to add his friends because he wanted to keep me for himself but from one day to another he completely change and became colder, no more heart, no more cute messages, nothing..) i am also afrais he might like someone else bcuz he have a loooot of friends on his FB and there are some girls that are really pretty… What do you think of all of this??

  3. Dear Oegukeen & Kimchi Man,

    I met my Korean crush about 10 months ago. We have been friends and we hang out once a week or every other week. However, about two months ago, I thought it would be a good idea to confess my feelings for him via phone (I know I should have done it in person but not everyone’s that courageous). I can’t describe his reaction. He said he “doesn’t know the truth” and I went on explaining my feelings further. The following day, he was keen on texting which he has never shown before. Ever since then, whenever I would text him, he would call me instead of texting back. I thought it was nice and made me feel special. We still hung out after my confession but we never discussed it.

    Recently, we have been communicating less and less :( Whenever I tried to text him, he would normally reply later on in the same day but it takes him longer to reply or call back now. He’s been working a lot (and I understand his busy schedule) and will be returning to Korean next month :( I’m just wondering, could it be possible that he is trying to build a wall and distancing himself because he knows he’s leaving soon? His birthday is tomorrow, he asked me to go out but I’m quite afraid he’ll cancel last minute. I have some surprises for him for his special day. I hope he’s not distancing himself…

    • hi dee, anonymous reader here… i can relate to having a Korean crush and being friends, meeting him once a week and feeling special….but I can’t seem to gather enough courage to confess my feelings…any tips? :) thanks!

      • Well, for me, I planned out everything I would say. BUT…my confession didn’t turn out the way I had hoped it would. I had a really nice night out with him when I confessed my not-so planned confession. When we were about to go our separate ways for the night, I decided to go for it and tell him! But I became clumsy and embarrassed myself infront of him instead by falling (serves me right for wearing chunky heels in winter haha). Anyway, we laughed it off and I decided it wasn’t the right time to tell him. But when I arrived home, I couldn’t stop thinking about the opportunity I let slip (no pun intended). So I called him and told him how I felt. He definitely was not expecting it by his reaction.

        Anyway, I confessed my feelings for him without the fear of getting rejected. I confessed because I wanted to let him know how special he is to me and how he has made me happy. I wanted to let him know that. Even if he had said, “I’m sorry, I only like you as a friend.” Well, at least I can know that we can still be friends. I’d rather have him as a friend than not have him in my life at all. That’s how important he is to me.

        If you decide to confess, try to go about it with an open mind and an open heart. Don’t get too ahead of the situation. If he doesn’t say anything after you confess, give him some time. For me, a confession of feelings is not what you can take from the person but what you see yourself offering to them, And everyone needs some form of love.

        Good luck!

        • I’ve tried planning what I wanted to say, but I always chicken out at the last minute…. I think the situation is a bit different since I’m worried about losing the friendship more than getting into a relationship with him… If I do decide to confess, I would tell you about it! Thanks for your tips and hoping for a positive turnout for your situation as well.. :)

          p.s. I’ve surprised him (with a friend) during his birthday and (I believe) it turned out successful since he didn’t expect anything and was really surprised and thankful :)

  4. I know from Oppa that age is an important thing in Korea, and since it is such a big role with formality and whatnot… I had a few questions/concerns about the age thing.
    Well we started dating a few months ago after we had in depth conversations about each other and really started to like each other, all that romancing stuff and whatnot, but he told me that when I meet his family and friends from Korea, our age difference could possibly be awkward and he said that he would be a “thief” (I think he was going for robbing the cradle here).
    Honestly I never considered our age difference to be a big deal (I just made 20 while he’s inches away from 30). Well, I do live in America were people do even weirder things.. But the point is I don’t know how his family or friends would react (then there’s the awkward situation where I might have to speak formally to his little sister) when they find out we’re almost a generation apart.
    Even when we first met he was apprehensive about pursuing a relationship with me because I was so much younger than he was, but then warmed up to the thought of being in a relationship with me and here we stand today. I know that being an American girl, I don’t see much of a problem but I wanted to know a different perspective from you both and maybe a perspective of how Korean’s see things like this.
    So, what do Koreans think about this kind of a thing? Weird? Awkward? Bad?

  5. You guys are awesome. And since I don’t know anyone who actually speaks Korean, you were the first one(s) I thought of when I encountered this issue. I am 46 and I’m trying to help my teenaged daughter write a fan letter to a K-Pop group. Neither of us speaks or reads Korean, but we found something on their official website that we *think* my be directions on where to send fan mail. Google Translate is slightly better than Bing (I think) but it still makes no sense, so we were wondering if you could possibly tell us if this is the address, and if it is, what the address is, Thank you for your time! We truly appreciate the help.

    [YG] 팬레터를 보내고 싶어요!! (신사옥 주소 안내)
    YG 소속 아티스트 팬레터 주소입니다.
    “서울특별시 마포구 희우정로1길 3 (합정동) YG엔터테인먼트 (해당 아티스트 이름) 앞”
    위의 주소로 보내주시면 해당 아티스트에게 전달 됩니다.

  6. Hi My name is Hajar and I’m from Morocco, i love Korea and koreans_though i’ve never met one_ because i watch lots of K-drama and listen to korean songs specially _cnblue_ but i love people in general and i try my best not to judge. What i want to ask is that i want to have real korean friends and i don’t know where or how to meet them, do you think you can help me with that? it may seems weird but just cuz i love the culture i would love to have a friend from there and thank you ;)

  7. hi,i am cherrie manlapaz from philippines,im seaching in facebook to find my true love in korea i like a korean boy.because my cousin have a husband korea.

    • Hey Cherrie, why don’t you ask your cousin to fix you a blind date with any one from her husband’s friends or family???

  8. Hello~! I came across your lovely blog and I must say that I can’t help it but dream of having a relationship like the one you and your boyfriend have~!<3 how I encountered your blog is another story…

    I met this Korean guy online approximately a little bit over a week ago…. we've talked a lot.

    After a few days I started to notice some type of disinterest from his part… I'm paranoid as I've had a few unpleasant experiences with men.. so the fear of losing him started to take over.. even as a friend…and so I decided to tell him how I felt….because I just couldn't stand it anymore.. that feeling of anxiety and fear was taking over, I couldn't sleep and I'd even cry a few tears…. strangely enough I've never felt anything similar towards a guy in my entire life.. I have never confessed to anyone.. nor did plan on doing so but with him it feels different…so I went ahead and told him.. YES I know a week is too short to do this type of movement…and tonight.. I'm sitting here regretting it a little.

    So I told him… he only said "I feel the same way" but that was about it.. he said he was worried and that it was hard.. but that apparently he DOES feel the same way, … I asked him what made him think it was hard? and he just randomly dissapeared…our time zones are kind of complicated, over there was past midnight so I thought he might have fallen asleep and I know how busy he gets at work… and right now I'm still waiting for his response.. a bit stressed.. can't eat.. and a lot of emotions taking over

    My question is…. should I give him time? Does not replying mean he's just not really THAT interested and he couldn't care less about how i feel? or is he scared about the situation specially since we're so far from each other? At this point I'm even starting to think he's not gonna answer at all and just dissapear from my life. I know a week was too fast, and I'm thinking he thought I was being some desperate or needy chick.. but now I'm so scared of losing his friendship too :( I don't know how the minds of korean men work.. specially since dating morals are so different from the ones here… so any help or advice on what should I do will be greatly appreciated… should I just apologize for being too aggressive ? I don't want to be too pushy either….. I don't know why I'd feel like this about a man I've only been talking to for a week.. is silly and I know.

    I've never had a boyfriend before, most of the relationships I build with guys fall apart for no reason I can point at… but with him.. the feeling is so strong..I feel sad.

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