This is the place where our readers asked questions about
- dating a Korean guy,
- having a Korean boyfriend,
- South Korean dating culture,
- …
in the comment section below.
Check out answers section, which you can always find by clicking on the menu on top, to see long in-depth answers we have given, mostly relating to relationships with Korean men. Our answers in the comments below are somewhat shorter, but can still be useful if you’re in a similar situation.
If you’re wondering why we’re not taking new questions any more you can find out here.
For older questions and our answers see Ask Us Archive
539 responses to “Ask us”
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Yes, i believe what you said was true. Their relationship is messed up according to him but i think he still loves her so much, first, they kept on messaging each other everyday so i think that effort proves that he still wants to work things out between them, also, he still wears their couple ring which i found in every picture of his. I’m confused too by the way he acts and everything he’s telling me. I don’t know whether to believe in him, since he is really really sweet to me but lately, he acted cold and not interested, i also felt that he don’t want talking with me and i think he’s escaping such topics about us. I’m really curious about the way he really feels and i don’t to be hurt, so i don’t want to hope too. Do you think it will work for the both of us? Or is he just using me or playing with me? Thank you so much for answering my questions~ :)
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Hi, I happen to know a similar story of another guy. Could you tell me if this man is currently living in korea or somewhere else?
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Hi. Thank you for making such a great blog. It’s really helpful and informative! I learned many things here! :)
I just want to ask, whether this korean guy is serious or not. Well, we met in an online site and he messaged me first asking for some help in learning our language. I replied to him since only few koreans approached me regarding our language. I found out that he bought books to help him study but he’s having a hard time. We chatted for days and we finally talked in kakaotalk, which is easier. We talked about many things and he opened his life with me, his family, his girlfriend, etc. At first, i only think of him as a brother since he is really older than me. We have 6 years gap. So, i really am not interested with him. After quite sometime, he told me about his relationship. They’ve been together for a year and lately, they were drifting apart. He also said he felt nothing other than anger and sorrow in their relationship. He said it is because his girlfriend loves to make him jealous and was really really close with guys. They talked about it several times, but his gf didn’t stopped. He also added that he lost many girl friends because her gf don’t approve of it. Well, of course, i’m not sure if all of it was true since i never talked with his girlfriend. I told him that they can fix it and he always say he don’t know. Days passed and we grew closer with one another, still, i only look at him as a brother. Until a day came where he became sweet and never missed a day without messaging me. He often calls me cute and send me good morning texts, he, too, chats with me until 2 or 3 am and i find it weird since it’s really late. He said he’ll be coming to my country and would love to be with me, he also asked if it was okay to hug me, when night time came, he often says that i should rest with him and he’ll make me fall asleep in his arm. He seems overprotective these days since there’s a time i went home 11pm and he almost scolded me saying he was really worried. He even asked help from my cousin to contact me. Yes, i find it sweet and i think i was falling for him. But i still knew the fact that he has a girlfriend, and i do respect that. But things happened so sudden, he asked me what should he do if he is in a relationship but is starting to fall with another girl. I told him i don’t know too. The next day, he told me he likes me and i told him, i was confused with what i am feeling. I wanted to stay away from him since i don’t want to ruin their relationship but he told me he don’t want to lose me and losing me would only make him so sad. He even told me that when we meet, then everything will be clear, he said he don’t know what to do because he thinks his feelings for me is growing so fast. He said he wants to stay with me like this. I’m really confused these days. I don’t know if i should believe him or not. Of course he has a girlfriend and i never planned hurting anyone. I really care for her gf because i know how it feels too. Also, last night, we were talking and i told him i’ll rest, then before saying good night, he said i love you. Gosh, it’s really weird and i don’t know what to do. :( also, he’s acting cold last night and i don’t know why. i feel like something has changed. could you help me? Thanks!
Well, i wish the best for you and Kimchi Man! :)-
It may be true what he is saying about his girlfriend. But until he acts on it, it’s just empty talk.
I was in a 5 year relationship with another man when I met Kimchi Man. I was unhappy in that relationship and I finally admitted that to myself when I saw what a great guy Kimchi Man is.
I don’t think you need to respect their relationship. If their relationship is working out, there is nothing you can do to mess it up, so if it breaks it’s not your fault. (I honestly can’t imagine anything another guy could do to make be break up with Kimchi Man).
BUT, I broke up with my ex-boyfriend BEFORE I told Kimchi Man anything about my feelings. Anything else wouldn’t be fair to my ex and wouldn’t be fair to Kimchi Man.
So please think why this guy is complaining about his relationship, sweet-talks you, but remains with his girlfriend.
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Here’s my story. I met Sooseong on a penpal website a few months before I went to visit Korea for a month holiday. We talked a bit but I felt closer to other pen pals and wasn’t super interested in him, although he would say sweet things now and then. Despite that I decided to meet him one day in Seoul. I can’t describe it but it was definitely love at first sight. He is incredibly tall, which is good as I am also rather tall, so it wasn’t hard to spot him. We couldn’t stop smiling. We sat there eating our noodles like little kids just looking at each other childishly. After that we walked all the way to Namsan tower (in the rain) (he bought us an umbrella to share). After Namsan tower he took me home to where I was staying even though it was late. No buses were running to he took an expensive taxi back to his place. He wanted to see me and the only time I could make was the very next day. We decided to go to Lotte World theme park. I lost my way on the train and I was nearly two hours late but he wasn’t the least bit angry. We enjoyed our time there and had dinner later. After dinner we walked to a river and sat on a bench until 2AM. We just talked and after a while he shyly put his arm around me and slowly put his hand on my arm. I took my hand and carefully held his hand. Butterflies! We eventually shared a soft, romantic kiss. While walking me home, he asked if I would be his girlfriend. I live in South Africa so I know it will be very difficult seeing him, but I am willing to try. I’m in another part of Korea now so I can’t see him, but I’ll see him in two weeks when I am back in Seoul. Until then I’ll see what happens!
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This is so adorable! ^^ Make sure you update us! Peace and blessings to you two!
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I wish you two the best!! ^^
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Really sweet :)
If you want, you can copy-paste your comment to “Your story” section since, as far as I can see, there isn’t question here. Please do keep us updated! :)
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Hi! I love your blog! I am dating a Korean guy who attends college with me in the United States. The majority of his family lives in Korea still, but his father recently moved to our city to be a visiting professor at my University for a year. At first, my boyfriend wanted to avoid his father when he was with me, but inevitably, he saw us together once. I greeted him formally when I was introduced and talked with him politely, but I still got the feeling I was not welcome. We have not told him that we are dating yet, but he frequently comes to my boyfriend’s apartment unannounced and sees us together. It’s not like be catches us doing anything bad, but I think he may suspect we are in a relationship now. Anyways, when he comes over, he always calls my boyfriend over and talks to him in Korean for at least an hour while I sit there ignored. Sometimes he brings food and only invites my boyfriend to the table to eat with him. The are both fluent in English. They could easily include me. Did I do something wrong? Should I approach them when they are ignoring me? I’m trying to be understanding, but should I be upset my boyfriend won’t stand up for me? Do you have any advice for dealing with your Korean Boyfriend’s parents?
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hello and thank you
why are you not talking with them if they can both speak English? i think if they don’t have something only between them then you should join. ask your boyfriend what’s going on and decide if you’re gonna stay on couch or hang out with them of find other boyfriend.
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I talked to my bf about it, and he apologized and admitted he was afraid to tell his dad we are dating. We decided that I needed to be more assertive about joining the conversation, and that he needs to attempt to include me more. The progress is slow… but we are both trying. :) Just a bit nervous I guess. Thank you for the help!! <3
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I haven’t met my boyfriend’s parents yet but he said if we do meet, he will just say I am a friend and maybe tell them later. I think its hard for some Korean parents to accept a foreigner into the family. Just keep being yourself and smile and be polite. If its meant to be, your boyfriend will help convince his father. :3
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There is a difference between lying about the exact nature of your relationship and ignoring her for an hour. Even if she is just a friend, is that a way to treat friends?
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Yeah, regardless of our relationship, that wasn’t a good thing to do, but eventually he did apologize, so I let him go this time. ;)
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Thank you! Yeah, it seems it’s a hard thing to accept, but slowly I think we are making progress. I hope things go well when you meet your bf’s parents!
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Hello/Annyeong, firstly I just want to thank you for making such an inspiring and useful blog, I visited the interpals website and have made a few Korean friends already and a lot of them have asked me for KaKao talk which I think is a Korean mobile chatsite, anyway i was just wondering if you or anyone else might have had experience with this site as apparently it makes communication a lot easier, I’m just worried it might not be safe and secure. Also many of the guys seem quite open in asking me if I have a boyfriend and stuff like that, is that normal or do you think they have bad intentions? Thank you so much for creating such a lovely blog that has really been helpful for me, have a nice day :)
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Hello,
Thank you for your kind words. It really makes us so happy to see you like it.
Actually, we wrote a whole article about different Korean free apps for texting and calling. We tried to be clear as possible but stil some things are probably confusing so feel free to ask anything else you’re wondering about in the comments there.
Well, my boyfriend was too shy to ask me but of course I can’t judge any other person by those standards. Maybe they’re just trying to make small-talk, or maybe they are interested in you as a potential dating partner (but is that really a bad intention)?
Have a nice day too :)
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I met my boyfriend on a penpal app and then used kakaotalk to communicate daily. we then met in person and it was all perfect. kakao is a nice app to use and you can restrict privacy settings.
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Hello!! First off, I would like to say I LOVE your blog. I find it very very interesting :) I would always read it late at night and decided that if I ever got a Korean boyfriend, I would make sure to tell you and ask you a question about it! I am proud to say that day has finally come! I honestly thought that I wouldn’t ever have one, and was completely fine with it… but now that I have one, I can’t say that I’m not excited!! Anyways, we just started dating about a few days ago and I’m already worried about boring him… He’s in the military right now (almost finished) and he doesn’t speak much English (mostly combat English and random words here and there) so I speak to him in Korean. Of course it’s a bit difficult because I’m still learning, but so far I think I’m doing okay. Despite several misunderstandings on my part (none of them cause a fight or anything, just probably a lot of confusion lol), we are doing pretty well! He’s a really funny and sweet guy and we like joking around with each other. These days we haven’t joked around as much.. We’ve just exchanged a lot of casual talk. I’m starting to run out of things to talk about and I’m kind of scared that he’s gonna think I’m boring! I already told him not much goes on my life because I’m a college student… so I mostly just stay home and study. I’m not sure what to talk about anymore.. and the fact that I have to say it in Korean makes it that much more difficult to talk about more complicated, interesting subjects. I’m going to be sending him a letter sometime this week or next week and I’m trying to figure out what to say on that as well. I don’t know… I guess I’m just scared that he’ll become uninterested as fast as he became interested in me… Please help!! I’d appreciate any advice you have to give!! Also if there’s any topics we could talk about… that would be helpful too! Thanks a bunch!!!
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Thank you! Please continue reading ;)
Wow, that’s a difficult question. I have the opposite problem, my mind is always swarming with things to say so I have to slow down and pick one to talk about.
However, I know my boyfriend well, so I know what interests him or not. I really don’t know what’s interesting and boring to you and your boyfriend.
Even though there is not much happening in your life right now, still you must know many things. You can talk about what you are studying, your opinion about serious things like religion, societies, etc. or fun things like movies, games, tv shows, you can talk about what happened to you before, or tell him about your country…
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Thanks! It’s hard to talk about more serious topics because my Korean is very limited, although we do talk about serious things from time to time. But thanks again! I decided to just keep a list of topics/things to discuss/ask/tell him so whenever I;m stuck, I can just refer to that list! It’s actually really cool because I’ll think of something interesting and just write it down so I don’t forget later :) Yeah, I also need to find out what interests him. So far I only know a few things he likes… but for now I guess I will have to make due with that!
Thanks again! You bet I will continue reading! :) I wish you and Kimchi Man the best!
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Loving Korean 
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