This is the place where our readers asked questions about
- dating a Korean guy,
- having a Korean boyfriend,
- South Korean dating culture,
- …
in the comment section below.
Check out answers section, which you can always find by clicking on the menu on top, to see long in-depth answers we have given, mostly relating to relationships with Korean men. Our answers in the comments below are somewhat shorter, but can still be useful if you’re in a similar situation.
If you’re wondering why we’re not taking new questions any more you can find out here.
For older questions and our answers see Ask Us Archive
539 responses to “Ask us”
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Hi!! Well first of all your blog is so helpful! I have a korean boyfriend,he live in USA since he was 14 now he is 19 and im 17..recently he met my cousin and she has fair skin and he was like *- so i’ve been worried because I have olive skin and white but not fair lol but just in some parts :'( is it so important for them fair skin??:/ he told me he likes my body and my face that im perfect ..but im insecure about it?:(I well and o straight my hair because he doesn’t like curly hair
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Thank you.
There are Korean men who are attracted to and deeply love black women.
It’s normal to be a bit insecure when you are in love but don’t take it too far. All of us have some bias, but if he really cares that much about skin color you are better off without him.
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Im not black not even browncute im the same color as him but I just have some parts of my body that are completely white but not like fair. He says tan and white is ok but thank youuu♥ do you think if we have a year already and his father wants me to marry him? I shouldn’t break up?
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I understood that you are not black, I was just trying to make a point.
What’s that got to do with breaking up? If you are not happy in the relationship, break up, if you are happy, don’t.
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Hello Oegukeen…I am so glad to find this blog!..I am Hispanic and I have met a Korean guy online two weeks ago. We are both in our early forties. We both live in USA only 10 hours away by car…2 hours by plane. I have friends in his city…so going there is not a problem. He also has manifested interest in coming over to visit me…but he works too hard…apparently he is running a Korean restaurant and works like 12 hours a day!..he ends working by 10:30 pm…when I am ready to go to bed. However we have managed to talk over the phone late night a couple of times during these two weeks…but it has always occurred after I insisted.
We are planning to meet in 3.5 months when I visit friends in his city for Thanksgiving…and actually I need that time to loose more than 30 pounds I gained over the last 18 months…he’s in good shape according to his photos and I am afraid he rejects me if he sees I am overweight now.
Since we met online he texts me everyday…I reply…he’s funny and sweet. But I find just texting a little bit childish…although it allows us to be in touch despite his busy schedule… I don’t know what to think. The last time we spoke over the phone i needed to put pressure…he said that talking would make him to miss me more….I feel it’s just an excuse.
Today it was my birthday, yesterday I asked him to give me a call as a present. He just texted me a nice YouTube link with a song and birthday greeting, very sweet , but no phone call as I expected. I feel disappointed and like begging to hear his voice…
Also I feel he’s a little bit insecure about him being a good lover in the future…he feels tired and old. I find him very sexy in his pictures and I like the fact that he is hardworking like me. I want to give myself a chance to meet this guy… what should I do next?-
Hello Eli,
Koreans have the longest working hours among all OECD countries so it’s a common thing that they are way too busy. It was wonderful when I’ve just met my boyfriend but he’s gotten more and more busy to the point where he barely has time for me so I know how you feel.
I’m not sure what you mean by Korean because I’ve met people from the US who call someone Korean even if they’ve never been to Korea. But if he was born in Korea it is possible he is insecure about his English and that’s why he prefers texting.
It’s great you’ll try to lose weight and exercise for your health, but don’t obsess too much about it.
I have no idea what kind of lover he will be, lol.
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Thanks for your reply !
He’s Korean American , his English is very good, with a sort of accent (that I like very much btw). I would say he has lived in Korea but I am not sure. He speaks Korean and feels proud of his parents’ country and his people.
He’s interested in meeting in person but not in talking over the phone. That’s why I think he is more focused on looks than feelings and that makes me insecure! I am attractive but now I am overweight as a result of the stress from job and divorce during the last two years.-
Talking entices only one sense, meeting in person, all five. It doesn’t have to mean he’s shallow.
My boyfriend is not good at talking about his feelings, but the way he strokes my hair while we watch a movie tells me everything I need to know.
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Thank you for your Opinion and I appreciate your time typing this comment !
I feel He’s genuine , this what my hearts tells ! I’m just afraid because its a little bit soon :) Yes ..I try as much to break the love talk he use a lot , and be more serious to take about our lives , and we do … I hope we get to know each other more ~I appreciate your advice .. Thank you a lot
Yes , I’m waiting ^^ and I’m so curious.. Thanks a lot for this lovely blog .. Keep going ~~
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Good luck and keep us updated. :)
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Hey ^^ thank you for commenting ..
Yes .. we are far away I live in Jerusalem _Israel ..
And yes if we meet we cant have any phyiscal relationship or intercourse …. because he respects my values .. I told him that I only have phyisical relationship after marriage …-
It sounds to me like he just really really likes you. You can get stand-offish and cool Koreans, and you can get clingy, loving Koreans. It seems a bit early to me to be saying that he loves you, but who knows, perhaps his feelings are genuine? I’m not hearing anything to suggest that he isn’t genuine. If it is too much too soon, then you need to tell him that you like talking to him, but you want to take your time in getting to know one another.
Oegukeen would be able to give your better advice about how to stay safe and how to make sure that you can trust him, as well as advice in general.
Good luck!
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No, no, this is great advice :)
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Hello ~ Thanks for giving us opportunity to talk a bit !
I’ve chatted with Korean guy through Interpals ! we had good relationship , we smile , we laugh a lot .. after 5 days he asked for Skype and we start talking through Skype and we used “video call too” ..
In three days he asked if i can be his girlfriend , and i accepted because we go along so good together ..I’m An Arab , Muslim .. I asked him why you chose me ? I mean I’m far and so different .. He said he doesn’t care he loved me for my character and he said I’m so friendly and lovely ..
AH !! he doesn’t have a smart phone and Kakao talk which made me shocked , but as he said “he hates technology to be in every part of his life ” I kind respect him of that , but also felt as a barrier , though we Skype a lot and talk for 6 hours every day !!!
umm after 10 days he said he loves me , he said he’s sincere , honest , and true ..
He dreams to have a future with me but he didn’t promise anything which makes me calm .. because i hate words without actionswhat makes me worry is that he loves to talk love talk~ i mean a lot ~~~
I mean he loves to imagine ! I asked why ??
He said He can’t have real physical relationship , so he do this with me instead ..
I said i feel as I’m just a toy for your desires , he got upset , and said I don’t trust him.Though, we are still new , but we shared stories and details that are so deep ..
im 20 , he’s 25 ..
please , tell me ?help help …is he using me just for desires ….
Each day i’m getting attached to him , and i can notice in him too , he loves more each day !
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Have you asked him why he can’t have a physical relationship? What does that mean? Is it because you’re so far away? If you two were to meet could you two have a physical relationship?
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From the comment I would agree that the only real reason they can’t have physical relationship is because they are far away.
I don’t think it’s unusual for boyfriend and girlfriend have a love talk while they are apart, but it really doesn’t matter if it is usual or not. What matters is that it obviously makes you uncomfortable and you should let him know.
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How do I even find a korean male?
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They are tricky to spot, but if you know where to look….
Just kidding :) I met my boyfriend by accident, but if you’re really intent on finding a guy who is Korean you can read our article How to meet South Koreans
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Loving Korean 
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