This is the place where our readers asked questions about
- dating a Korean guy,
- having a Korean boyfriend,
- South Korean dating culture,
- …
in the comment section below.
Check out answers section, which you can always find by clicking on the menu on top, to see long in-depth answers we have given, mostly relating to relationships with Korean men. Our answers in the comments below are somewhat shorter, but can still be useful if you’re in a similar situation.
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539 responses to “Ask us”
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An nuyang hae seo , i’m a moroccan fan of korea , i loove korea soo much , not thanks to the Kdrama or kpopers or Ksurgery , i love korea as a country , as one of the most developped countries , as a greeaat country that made of korean the most smart on the earth , i reaally wanna goo to live there , or maybe marry a korean muslim , i have already read a post of a girl who’s asking if she can marry a korean , she’s dreaming of a leeminhoo or a rain be or some one else , i find tht korean are handsome , also moroccan are handsome , but there are some ugly korean as there are some ugly moroccan , No one can imagine how much i love korea , I’m always dreaming to marry a muslim korean , i love the culture i love traditions , anyway I LOOOOVE YOUUU KOOREAA , AND IF IT HAPPENS AND I GO THERE , I’LL DO MY BEST THERE , TO BE A GOOD CITIZEN , AND MAYBE A GOOD WIFE <3 <3
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Hi I’m a middle eastern girl and I mostly look at Korean guys, when I tell my friends about it they get creeped out and I even told one of my korean friends and she was creeped out too. I got introduced to korean culture from korean dramas, and got addicted, I began thinking about how adorable they looked And stuff. I just started high school and lucky me it’s loaded with korean guys. Especially the ones with cool hair and the perfectness xD but there are so many other pretty korean girls and I see korean boys hanging out with only Koreans and speaking korean and only dating korean girls. I get really sad and also I’ve searched “how to get korean boys to like you” and stuff on google and I read this post on tumblr saying really mean things about girls like me who like them and how korean guys must feel bad and creeped out and how it’s disgusting and stuff so I decided to get over them but it’s impossible I just can’t do it. I feel like I won’t ever have a chance with one. There was this one guy who was kind of interested in me but he didnt go to my school and he played hard to get it was annoying.
Everybody thinks it’s creepy and I just feel awful and lonely. I’m a pretty girl(I would say) but I’m not the super popular girl everybody goes for. I’ve started thinking that maybe they don’t like my culture? I don’t wear a hijab or look like a freak. People don’t even believe that I’m from the Middle East. I’ve been mistaken as Spanish and European but if it’s not that then why can’t I get one to like me? I really need help. PLEAAAASSSSSEEEEEEEE help me. There’s this one boy who’s friends with my korean girlfriend and my friend told him I like Koreans and he asked if I was good looking, I don’t know what their whole convo was but I just know that he knows who I am and my name and the class I have with him. I decided to not tell any korean that i like them so they wouldnt get creeped out but this one that i was gonna go for already knows and my friends who know it blurt it out at random times as well..I kind of like him and want him to like me back. D: I don’t know what to dooo. I’m really sorry if this is too long but it would mean the world to me if you actually replied >.< Thanks in advance-
I know it’s hard, but try not to romantacize a whole group of people. I know that k-dramas and kpop make it seem like korean stars (and people) are awesome, charming, funny and nice 100% of the time, but you can also get regular, awkward, and mean koreans as well. (that’s not to say that there aren’t koreans with good traits since I like to see the best in people.) They are people just like you and your friends.
The Koreans at your school probably hang out together because they know the same language and have a common culture and understanding. It’s nothing personal. I know it’s hard not to compare yourself to korean girls, but they have insecurities just like everyone else. And just like you are attracted to korean guys, whether it be due to your inate genetics or an idea about them that you’ve constructed, chances are, there are korean guys who might like non-korean girls too. Have you tried smiling at them?
I think the “ew, you like korean guys” thing comes from ignorance that asian guys are all ugly, all look the same, no personality, asexual, effeminate etc mindset that people don’t realise they have. You can’t change your tastes, so I just keep it to myself or say that we all have different tastes, don’t we?
You could always try learning Korean, that way perhaps you can get to know the culture a bit more. If it leads you to a relationship, then that’s cool. But if not, perhaps you can travel to Korea one day and use the language there. But you might want to cool down the whole “I want a Korean boyfriend” thing, otherwise it will come across as desperate.
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These Korean guys are in a foreign country which may make them more timid and shy than if you were in Korea, on their home turf. But since it is your home country you are in a way their host there and they are the guests so you can try to make them feel welcome and offer your friendship first.
Don’t pay attention to what you read on Tumblr or from angry judgmental people online. But since you say even your friends are creeped out you may take a look at your behaviour. Of course, it could be that your friends are just not opened to mixing of people from different culture, there is no way for me to know that.
It is fine you are interested in Korean culture, and it is fine you have your preferences to which men you are attracted to. But there is a line and if you cross it, it may come off as creepy and disrespectful of Koreans as human beings.
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Hello, We (me and my husband) are preparing to travel to South Korea where our son moved about four years ago where he teaches. Our son met a lovely Korean girl after he had lived there for one year. They ended up getting married quickly (opting not to go with the traditional Korean wedding). This decision, of course, has upset the Korean parents. We leave for a visit to Korea in about five days. There is going to be a Korean wedding ceremony while we are there. In this situation, what would you expect our obligation to be? Do we pay for the wedding as the grooms parents? Should we be providing them a house? Should we take gifts to everyone we meet while visiting? When we eat out, should we offer to pay? Thank you for your help, signed — “Distraught Groom’s Parents in the USA”
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Hello Distraught Groom’s Parents in the USA,
I’m not sure why you said “of course”. Not all Korean parents would get upset with such a decision. But I digress.
In general, when dealing in any way with your son’s wife or her parents it is best to bring any questions you have to your son. He should be able to talk to his wife about this and she knows her parents’ expectations the best.
Just as with western weddings, there is nothing anyone SHOULD do, only what everyone agrees to do. As you can see from the fact that they are having a wedding despite the fact they are already married.
Don’t be distraught, this is a happy event in your son’s life.
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hello! if this korean guy invites me to watch a movie or have dinner…but also tells me to invite others…does it mean that he doesn’t want to watch the movie or have dinner with just me? We already had lunch/coffee/watched movies more than a couple of times… but during those times, we sort of had no choice because our friend wasn’t free.
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No, it doesn’t mean that. It might, but doesn’t have to.
He’s probably just shy or old-fashioned.
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thaaanks! i have been crush-ing on him since i saw him in school sometime 2009… and luckily, i got a chance to be friends with him when we had the same classes in 2010, before he left and went back to korea. we just got closer after he got back here from his military service (april 2013)…
we usually hangout (with or without other friends) once a week and we chat facebook/katalk a lot, almost everyday. he’s mentioned that he’s looking for somebody cute and kind and that he hasn’t found anyone yet…he also said that he’s not good at “associating” with girls…
i can say i’m one of his few close friends, but what can i do to make him “see” me in a different light, without directly telling him that i like him?
btw, when he was talking about his korean friends, he said he wanted me to meet them and that if his brother gets discharged from military service and comes here to visit, he says i should also see him too… does this at least mean something? or is it just because we’re really close…? thanks…
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It’s really impossible to know what’s going on in this guy’s mind. Wanting you to meet his friend and brother is nice, but it could just be the way this guy is showing you that he’s friendly.
You are much better going to know how he feels about you from the way he acts when he’s around you than from such “facts”, if you know what I mean.
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thanks for the advice! haha when we go out (again, with or without friends), he has offered to share the food we order, and insists on paying, but if I start to get my wallet and insist on splitting the bill, he’ll just say that we can take turns in paying for whatever like if he pays for food, i pay for coffee after, or he pays for drinks, then i pay for popcorn (that we also share) if we go out to watch a movie… sometimes, he randomly talks to me in Korean just because i think he knows that nobody would understand and i’m actually glad it amazes him when i answer back in english hahaha
but then again, he might just be really nice…. =)) still, thanks!
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What’s the meaning if the Korean guy hold your waist? I don’t get it because maybe all of the korean is like that.
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Meaning? Depends how he holds it I guess.
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hi! i’ve already posted a comment before but i didn’t receive a reply… i guess i wrote a novel that time..hehe… anyway i’ll try to make it shorter this time…
i’m a filipina esl teacher and i fell for my korean student. Though he did not directly tell me that he likes me (only through spin the bottle game). we chat almost everyday through kakao. one time, he invited me to play badminton (at night) with him. This is my first time to go out with a student. But he didn’t say it was a date, he said he just wanted to relieve stress.
Then before he went back to korea, i suggested that he go with other students for sight seeing, but he said he wants to spend time with me. so we went to the mall.
when we arrived, he bought brownies and a drink. I have the habit of always refusing when someone offers food or drinks. so he explained that in korea, when someone older or your boss offered something, you have to accept it even if you dont want it. Though he’s one year younger than me, he said in “this situation” i should not refuse, (i’m not really sure what he meant)Then we decided to just sit by the bay.(the mall has a seaside area) He said before he leaves, he has a final request. He wanted to hug me, i thought there’s nothing wrong with that, teachers and students hug, right? Suddenly he kissed me. when we went back to the dormitory, i gave him my farewell gift and a letter. i just wrote there all of my feelings about him but i didnt directly say that i ‘like’ him. that night, he sent me kakao msg saying he wanted to see me one last time. But there were other students in the kitchen so i refused to see him again.
he is now in korea. during his first week there we chatted thru kakao everyday. MOstly, he initiated the conversation. but lately, our chat becomes seldom. He will soon go to China for his internship. i know he’s busy so i don’t want to bother him but im afraid we might lose contact.
Besides, im not really sure about our status, i mean he never really asked me to be his girlfriend and he didnt directly say that he loves me… should i ask him or just wait for him to say it?
sorry for the very long story… it tried to make it shorter… but still… hope you understand ^_^-
Hi, I can see you asked a question on one of our posts 8 days ago. We’re really busy and there are lot of questions and we answer them one by one as they were posted. Sorry for the wait. (Also, since this is the place where question are actually asked we answer them here much faster)
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Wow! Thanks for the fast reply… i thought you missed my question so i posted it again here…
i know my story is quite long…so please take your time in answering it… hehe… thank you very much ^_^
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Yeah, considering everything that happened and distance between your country and Korea, I would say there is a possibility you might lose contact.
I am for the pro-active approach, but don’t be too surprised if it doesn’t work out. Not everything is willing to make a risk for long-distance relationship or even just international relationship.
Good luck!
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thanks for your advice…Actually, I’m not a pro-active type…but i’ll try.
for now, we just chat once in a while… I guess i’ll have to wait and see what happens ^_^
Thank you again!
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Loving Korean 
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