This is the place where our readers asked questions about
- dating a Korean guy,
- having a Korean boyfriend,
- South Korean dating culture,
- …
in the comment section below.
Check out answers section, which you can always find by clicking on the menu on top, to see long in-depth answers we have given, mostly relating to relationships with Korean men. Our answers in the comments below are somewhat shorter, but can still be useful if you’re in a similar situation.
If you’re wondering why we’re not taking new questions any more you can find out here.
For older questions and our answers see Ask Us Archive
539 responses to “Ask us”
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Hey :) First of all, I hope you and Kimchi Man are okay (I think I read somewhere you both were really sick ?).
I’m just wondering about a simple thing – when a korean guy uses words like “i miss you a lot” or “i like you so much” (both in korean but my keyboard isn’t set for typing it) to a girl while he’s himself engaged to another, doesn’t it sound a bit dodgy ? Would the current girlfriend be entitled to be jealous ? I know in some european cultures (including mine), it may have a romantic context but not necessarily (though I’d tend to ask myself questions !). What about South Korea ? I know there’s no general rule because everyone is different…but still ?
Thanks a bunch ;)-
You are right and it’s quite amazing we both got sick around the same time from two totally different things. It’s quite serious for both of us, but not deadly. Thank you for asking :)
I agree with you about Europe, but I think even in Europe it sounds dodgy unless there is some really special circumstances, and in Korea even more so. But you are also right that everyone is different so it might be innocent.
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Hello, this isn’t much of a love story because I just met this guy at the university I’m studying abroad in Japan. Yes, it sounds weird haha ill start by saying that I’m a African American girl age 20 very nice easy to talk to, treats others as they Want, and kinda shy, it takes a while before I am fully able to open my self up to new people which is why I hardly say much unless I’m spoken to. Actually tall 5.5 I’m very cute but i kinda chubby but lots of people in Japan have said I’m very sexy so there is no problem attracting Japanese men but because I think I’m fat my confidence starts low upon meeting me….. but a new semester is nearing and about 20 new study abroad students arrived here in Japan last Thursday (today is Thursday) since I and the other previous students were here already we didn’t have to attend the new students get-togethers until Tuesday because we had a placement test. That’s when I first laid my eyes on him (let’s nickname him jaejoong) he’s gorgeous(24)! There are other Korean guys but my attention is only towards Jaejoong. My first encounter with him was monday evening when my Korean acquaintance told him I really love jaejoong and he just chuckled a bit lol. The next day during our break I just happened to be next to him in the hallway so I asked how the test was, we made slight small talk, (I say slight because we are in Japan and he doesn’t speak English only Japanese and Korean and I understand a little bit of Japanese. My Japanese is not on the same level as him so because of that I get extra nervous when speaking in JapaneseI’m afraid ill make a mistake or not be able to respond properly)
I often don’t say much cause I have no confidence in my Japanese mainly because of my American peers they often make fun if a mistake is made so its really intimidating..but when it’s one on one or three or so I try speaking in Japanese.
I was able to get to the point where it’s not awkward to speak to you again after leaving the conversation so I felt good. I even talked to him a little more after the test, but because he lives in an apartment close by he had to leave shortly afterwards. I felt good and had a lot of confidence for the next day Wednesday.Wednesday during the break he came and talked to me a bit but it wasn’t long maybe because my Japanese sucks so I can’t carry on a conversation long. Shortly after the test I asked him if he and his friend wanted to eat lunch together he said yes but he had to return to get money and I was also with a friend so it would’ve been awkward if I had’ve waited on him. So he told me he would meet us there in the cafe, I was really excited but the cafe was really full so there were hardly any seats so basically I didn’t get to eat lunch with him. I felt disappointed and after lunch I went to our international lounge to chill and he was there but there was this other black girl talking to him (let’s just call her Ice) ice is the type of girl who always needs attention from somebody, she easily gets upset if someone else is stealing the spotlight, she has this habit where she is always talking bad about someone all the time, and always joking about everything, lying all the time and no one can seem to avoid her, some people (Asians ) seem to like her joking around with them. She is very easy to talk to like she can talk to anyone but she doesnt know when to shutup. She is always going for males even though she has a boyfriend and because of her jealously issues that is probably the reason why she is talking to him since she saw me talking to him Tuesday. Because her personality is more outgoing than mine automatically her Japanese speaking is better than mine. I get intimidated by her presence because she’s always judging and making me feel bad. But I walked over to them anyway even though I was avoiding her but I went and talked to her because I couldn’t think of anything to say to him in Japanese I’m stupid! But hung around for a while acting like I was having a good time but I wasn’t ,eventually my friends saw them talking and didn’t like it because no one likes her and kinda cut in on the conversation making it a group convo. I was kinda happy but she likes to follow people so she followed him to the sofa and kept talking, I was acting like I was about to leave and started rumbling through my bag “looking” for something and sat down on the sofa too luckily my friend walked through the door so I started talking to her while on the sofa. I looked over and saw her doing her famous line ” lets play a game ” so the two of them started playing but my friends were there so they were watching and asking what game it was but because she is selfish she won’t tell anyone anything . So shortly after she lost he called her a swindler in Japanese luckily that was the last words he said to her everyone laughed and I suggested we play a new game with everyone on the couch so we played games for a couple hours and afterwards I asked him if he wanted to get something to eat and he said okay so we and 4 of my friends went to a restraunt and definitely we became more friendlier so I’m happy but my problem is that I kinda like him so I get nervous around him and since I’m not confident in my speaking Japanese I don’t talk much to him like I want to.
How can I express my interest in him without being too forward all while trying it in Japanese which I can’t really speak well?
My plan is today I’m going to ask him if he wants to go out clubbing with me and my friends. In my past experiences, Asians and alcohol is the perfect combination for a more comfortable environment. I’ve been many times with my Japanese friends and its all ended up well so I think it’s a good idea because he doesn’t want to go to karaoke lol
Btw I don’t know if he has a girlfriend so I think this is better than asking him in person cuz my Convo in Japanese can be boring and awkward at times if I’m not feeling confident ill admit it. I can be myself when I’m not feeling pressured or intimidated by my peers and when I have one good friend around helping with the convo yes I know I’m weird and difficult but I have trouble being an “interesting person” in Japanese by myself when getting to know someone. I’m trying to work on being confident by myself but it hasn’t happened yetPlease respond, japanday
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Hello,
I think you’re doing a very good job at showing him you are interested in him, especially since you say you are a shy person, and yet you managed to invite him out three times already and found a way to hang around him often.
I understand your language issues, my Korean boyfriend and I had same problems in English. It is difficult to have really interesting conversations when you don’t speak the language well. But if you really like the other person, in the way that my boyfriend and I liked each other, you can make it work. And beginning is exciting even if you say the most boring things :)
Also, being outgoing is a good opportunity to practice using a language, but there are million other ways to do it too. When I was learning English I had no one to speak to, so if I was daydreaming I tried to do it English, and if I was bored in class or watching some boring tv show I pretended to be an interpreter and translate inside of my head. It helped a lot.
Good luck at the club, although I have to mention that things about Asians and alcohol is a stereotype, and the problem with stereotypes is that there is always someone who doesn’t fit it. My boyfriend hates drinking alcohol and a girl he liked made him angry when she got too drunk and thus I, who never drink at all, got my chance :)
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I’m an exchange student from America attending college in Seoul (and hopefully on to a masters degree). I’m the only female player on my school’s soccer team and recently I’ve noticed the guys saying things like “you know a lot of the guys want girlfriends” or “you should get a boyfriend soon” and a few guys asked me to call them 오빠 more often. (we all talk in a mix of Korean/English/Konglish)
I’m getting closer to the my team mates as friends and I’m starting to like a guy, but I’m worried about reading the signals wrong. In the states, I would usually ask a guy out if I liked him, but I’m not sure if that would be as good to do in this situation. Should I take it slow for now and let everyone get closer as a team, or go ahead and be more forward?-
Do whatever makes you happy. It may sound corny but showing your true personality right away gives you bigger chances to have a successful relationship – if that’s what you’re looking for.
I was very open and forward with Kimchi Man, I told him I fell in love with him before he told me how he feels about me. He was very happy that I was so open and made it easy for him. Another guy may have found me too forward, but as much as it would have hurt back then, in the long run we wouldn’t have been a good fit anyway.
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What does it mean when my Korean crush is crying, but when I tried to comfort him he lied just to stop me from worrying? Even though, I already suspect that he has family problems?
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Well, Kimchi Man told me that keeping your own pain to yourself is considered polite in Korea, as you are not burdening others with your problems.
In this specific situation, it could be he’s trying to spare your feelings, it could be he doesn’t feel close enough to you to share something so intimate, it could be it’s too complicated to explain… who knows?
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Does keeping your pain suppose to be shown here in the Philippines too? My other Korean classmates tell the truth all the time even if they shed tears. They still share their pain to others.
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Just because something is polite, doesn’t mean everyone does it.
It is difficult to get rid of your habits, just because you are visiting another country.
As I said above, there could be many reasons why he is doing it.
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Okay, thanks for the reply.
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Hello,
I am currently in an online relationship with a korean man. I know he is real as i asked him to make me fan signs etc. I have always wanted to live in Korea and understand the culture very well. He has told me recently that he wants to marry me and he even aske his mother if it would be ok for him to marry a forgien girl and which she agreed and told him he can if that’s what he wants. I understand this is a massive thing for me and him, especially as he is an only child.
He has been acting different with me every since he told me he wanted to marry me and seems to never have time for me anymore.Can someone who is english/american who is living in korea and is in a relationship with a korean man please help me become accustomed with marriage and what life is like in korea, especially an insite into men and the way they think.
Thank you.
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Hello,
and welcome. You seem very specific about who should answer your question. If you want help from me or Kimchi Man, let us know.
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Hi, i just found your site by chance (well not exactly by chace :p)
I happen to like korean drama, but not like a fanatic fans who hunts everything about k-drama, but i do able to do a marathon in watching k series ^^
Ok, to make it brief, since i’m enjoying k drama very much, i found that there are these typical manly things about K Drama male main characther. They tend to be a proud person, dominant, protective, etc (but in a good way i think). Now, at first i think it’s just a mean of building a protagonis character, but after many k dramas, i started to wander if that is actually a picture of average korean men.
I know there are many character of people no matter what their nationality is, but do korean man are somewhat like those general character in kdrama?
I’m Indonesian by the way. Trying to learn korean too, so i won’t have to rely on subtitles so much :D
Annyong!
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Hi, and thank you for posting a question.
There are probably many people wondering this exact same thing, so we’ll probly write a longer post about it.
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Hi Linda! I have been to Korea and what I have noticed, although guys do not look like in K-Dramas, but they do act very protective, helping etc. Of course there are some exceptions, but in overal they are really nice!
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Oo, so they do act that way… ^^ good to know it, i had korean friends (boys) once when i was a teenager, but i don’t really remember whether they also act that way,,, maybe they are among the exceptions, haha…. i love this website, makes me learn new things from ppl from different parts of the world, yet we are kinda be in the same channel, :D
To oegukeen and Kimchi man, i’ll be waiting for that longer post, ^^ komawoyo
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Loving Korean 
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