This is the place where our readers asked questions about
- dating a Korean guy,
- having a Korean boyfriend,
- South Korean dating culture,
- …
in the comment section below.
Check out answers section, which you can always find by clicking on the menu on top, to see long in-depth answers we have given, mostly relating to relationships with Korean men. Our answers in the comments below are somewhat shorter, but can still be useful if you’re in a similar situation.
If you’re wondering why we’re not taking new questions any more you can find out here.
For older questions and our answers see Ask Us Archive
539 responses to “Ask us”
-
hi, i have a korean boyfriend , he is 29 y/o and he told me that he wants and plan to marry me 1 or 2 years later.i said maybe 4 years later, but he said he cant wait that long … i am 21 y/o and i dont have plans to get married yet… my question is .
why does he is in the rush of getting married, is it common S.Korea with that age
(or guys anywhere in the world), are they pressured to get married?And what should be the best way tell him, so i wont make him feel bad and disappointed?
:'(i dont want to ruin our relationship…
i like to date him for long, but he really wants to get married soon.
i need you advice, and i really love your blog! ^^-
Hi, I’m not Oegukeen or Kimchi Man but I don’t think you should worry about this, I know it’ll be on your mind but is he really going to be set on his decision for years to come? Maybe not, he may probably change his view on getting married in a years time! Also bear in mind, he’s 29, almost 30, which is the average age of getting married if not earlier so he probably wants to settle down now whereas you’re still in the young woman mode at 21. Talk about it gently with him and let him know you’re just not ready yet like you would with any other man. Like I said, he may change his opinion or just forget about it later on so keep calm. :)
-
Thank You very much!! ^_^ you are right, maybe it will change his mind when the time goes by…
-
It probably will! Even is he’s set on it now, letting him know it’s hard for you will get him considering your feelings as well. Just forget about what he’s said about marriage and be happy dating him as you are now – either he’ll change his mind or just forget it completely or maybe later on you might change your mind about it, who knows? Just take it as it comes, mwah :)
-
-
-
Hello,
I did read somewhere that Koreans are pressured to get married before they turn 30 but I haven’t seen this myself. Kimchi Man and his parents don’t seem to care.
It may be impossible to avoid disappointing him a bit, but it is completely reasonable that with the age difference you are not on the same page of life. I was in a relationship with a man who was 9 years older than me, and through conversation we always managed to agree on something that worked for both of us.
-
-
Hi! I’m a 19 year old girl and Last year I signed up for a language-Help website in order To get some New friends Who could Help me with korean since I’m planning on going To Korea To study in january next year. Within a week i started To talk To a Guy and since then we’ve talked for hours every day and now we’re Both in love with eachother. The thing is That we Both wanna meet as soon as possible and we dont wanna Wait til january To finally meet, and My question To you is, do you think i should visit him first or should he Come visit me?
Thanks for running this blog btw! Pretty much everyone i know seem To think im crazy for liking someone ive met online so your blog gives me some support lol! :-)-
Nah, meeting online used to be an unusual thing, but it is so common these days.
It’s so great you are both in love! :D You’re an adult now so you can do whatever makes you comfortable. See what your situation is like, and if you trust him enough. Whatever you do, be careful and have fun :)
-
Thanks for answering! :-)
I would really wanna go To Korea To meet him, instead of him coming To Boring Sweden haha (plus he’s already visited Sweden before). The problem is though That I still live at home, and im afraid My parents wont let me go. I understand That all parents are protective of Their children but I Can really tell That he’s a good Guy, and That he’s actually the person he says he is (i know a Lot of people fear That someone they’ve talked To online has just fooled them and turned out To be an entirely different person irl) cause i’ve spoken To him on Skype a million Times, ive also seen his mother on webcam and so on so im pretty sure he’s not some creep trying To contact girls on the internet haha. But My question is, do you know What i could do if My parents are very negative about letting me go? I know That im an adult and they cant really stop me but i would still want them Support me in going there To meet him.
-
-
-
Hey! I’ll start off by saying your blog is extremely helpful and comforting so thankyou! :) I actually have a question about violence, specifically violence towards women. I don’t want to sound stereotypical or insulting so I’ll try my best to word it as best I can. I’ve heard that Korea is ‘socially’ stuck in the 1950’s sort of setting where people are still very conservative during dating and although a little more open about relationships then in Japan are nowhere near the ‘standards’ of Europe or other Western countries. I’ve also heard that because of this some men are still quite dominant and maybe TOO dominant (not my words and I wouldn’t want them to be!), and that women are still seen as the weaker sex. Apparently Korean men are great boyfriends and bad husbands. When I think of this it just paints a picture in my head of a man losing his temper because his wife won’t make him a cuppa! I know the younger generation aren’t quite so conservative all the time so is there actually still violence amongst men and women and is it more prominent? More common than other countries? Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. :)
-
Socialize with Koreans or even visit Seoul. That’s quite the feminist mentality.
-
What has this got to do with feminist mentality???
Also, while visiting Seoul and socializing with Koreans might be the best way to learn about what Korea is really like, not everyone has that opportunity.
-
-
Hello,
I am so happy you think it’s helpful and comforting! I couldn’t hope for anything else :)
We’ll try to write an article about your question as soon as possible (there are two questions in queue in front of yours right now). Thank you for your patience.
-
That’s great, thank you so much for addressing my query! I can’t wait to hear your response. :)
-
-
You question has been answered, finally! :)
You can find the answer Are Korean men aggressive by clicking this link.
-
-
Hello! Greetings from Australia <3
I went to grab some snacks from a korean grocery store nearby my uni ytd. The shop assistant approached me and asked me whether I have a boyfriend or not. Then he asked for my number and wanna be-friend with me. Is it possible that he is interested in me? P/s: it was my second time visiting that store.-
Yes definitely, ask him out for a coffee or something, he’ll ring you for sure.
-
I would say it’s not possible that he’s not interested. Why do you think he would ask if you have a boyfriend and ask for your number? ^^
-
-
hey, I am a filipino women who met a a 22 year old korean boy 1 week ago, we met at the skout.com, he chatt me first, and then we became friends, i believe that he is a nice guy, he stil a student at the Hanyang University mechanical engineering, and i know that course was too complicated, and I understand that he’s busy coz he is a student and his obligation is to study hard so that he can graduate next year.last week, we have a great and happy conversation, but now we don’t have a clearly communication, if he reply my messages, only 1 replies I accept..and I guess that he’s really busy.. :( and one thing is I have a feelings with him…. last night, he want to leave a voice messages as GIFT for me” but he cant leave his voice messages coz he dont know how to leave a voice message on yahoo messenger, and also he calling me “DEAR” and I call him “OPPA” .. were friends only, i really dont know if he have a feelings with me.. :( and last time he said.. I like all about you, as i said to him, im not a korean, and im not a beautiful like them.. he said he knows that the korean womens are beautiful and attractive, but he said to me that I am attractive women also, but he cant explain it to me why he said that ‘i am attractive”.. aarrrggg… too complicated…I just wanted to know what he really thinks,.. can you give me some advise regarding to my concern? :(
-
Well, it seems to me that you know already what’s going on.
He likes you but it’s only been 3 weeks and he’s very busy so it’s difficult to know which direction and at which pace it is going to develop.
-
I leaved him a message last thursday and friday but he did’nt reply.. until now…hmmm so i feel he is not interested with me anymore….
-
-
-
Hi there guys :-)
I am a European girl who met a younger Korean guy 3 weeks ago and we hit it off as friends immediately. Two days ago he started holding my hand in public and saying things like how happy he was that he met me and how wonderful I am. Yesterday we didn’t meet nor did he call or txt me and when we meet today he is very weird, distanced. It turns out he talked to his mom on the phone about what I don’t know, also his older friends -all married to Korean ladies- were over last night. Could it be that friends and family tries to intervene? He’s the firstborn son in the family (mom divorced dad) and while he wants to stay here, his family wants him to go back to Korea. It is breaking my heart. Yesterday I was the happiest person and now I’m a wreck…My question is to Kimchi Man, if holding hand was just a friendly gesture or what is going on, why the sudden change? What should I do if I wanted to know what’s going on? Can I openly ask him? I really would like us to date but this situation is really confusing. :-(((((((
-
You should do the same back to him, show some sexual interest and get him focused on you.
-
Since he talked to you about how happy he is and how wonderful you are, I don’t think it’s only a friendly gesture. You should ask what’s going on. You deserve the answer and there is only one way to find out.
-
Loving Korean 
Leave a reply to SM Cancel reply