I have started dating a wonderful Korean guy who is my coworker at a restaurant I work at. I’m a 19 American girl and he’s a 27 year old S. Korean. The first date was so wonderful. He baked for me, took me out for a movie, the whole she-bang. He insisted on buying a few things for me on the date. That’s fine but I really don’t want him to feel like he has to. The next date that we have set up, he’s informed me that he’s going to rent out an entire restaurant so it’ll just be the two of us there. I am flattered, really but that’s so over-the-top and I don’t want him to throw-away money on me. Is this a cultural thing or is this just him?
I would have to say both. Certainly there are many Korean guys who would not do this much and he is trying hard to impress you. On the other hand, what he is doing is neither strange nor unheard of in Korea.
Judging by the relationships I had before Kimchi Man I am not the best person to answer this question. I had always tried to show that I don’t require my boyfriend to pamper me nor pay for me by offering to pay for myself, and somehow I would end up paying for EVERYTHING all the time.
I can tell you this: whenever something is making you uncomfortable, talk to him about it. Kimchi Man thinks it won’t offend your date if you tell him what you said to us: that you are flattered but that you feel what he doing is over-the-top.
In general, my opinion is that no person should put up with something they do not approve of just because it is tagged as “cultural difference”.
You may also read a Korean article “Who should pay on dates – guy or girl?” It may give you more insight into their culture, but keep in mind that opinions expressed in it are individual and other Koreans might not feel the same.
6 thoughts on “[Q&A] Do Korean guys go over-the-top on dates?”
Thank you very much for the reply and article. Fortunately, I was worried for nothing. Instead of renting out a restuarant like he implied, we stayed in the restuarant we work at and he sent me out. When I came back in there was flowers and candles everywhere and he cooked for me. It was perfect.
But still, I will have the conversation with him about spending too much if he starts to overwhelm me again. Thanks :3
It’s great that he found the perfect balance of romance and reason for you. :) That sounds really romantic and nice.
Cultural thing. hm… I have never known a Korean guy act like that not in Korea cuz we are totally exhausted to Korean girls in Korea… Korean girls always compare their crushes… Now I live in the U.S. I feel non-Korean girls are simple. I don’t need to spend my time on my crush.
It’s great to hear your view as a Korean guy living in the U.S.
Hello, I have a korean friend and i seem to have a bit of feeling for him.We are both living in abroad country and studying in the same university but have different study Faculties .He is really a nice guy and is always smiling :) , I asked him to movies with me because i had a discount for the movies and he came and it was a normal movie day(but my motive was to know him better) , we talked about each others culture and education in our respective countries(and that was after we watched the movies) Later i found out that he has a girlfriend (with a 10 years of relationship in korea )and is in a verge of breaking up.And i have never dared to ask him furthur about it.He texts me with almost everyday and asks me if i have a free time to meet him and have dinner together.One day he invited me to his house and he even cooked for ME .He was really nice, we talked a lot and then at the same day he called me after i was home .He was nearby where i lived and the place where i live has a big park and is really famous in the city and he has never been there. He asked me if i could go to the park wiht him.And i said ok !.It was around 9 at the evening.We went throught the park and talked and talked like always …. And now i am confused am i only like a friend to him or more ….., it hurts actually to be the third person …
I want to Date a Korean boy and I ma serious about it. How should I proceed ?