![[Q&A] I don’t fit in. Help me find a Korean to connect to.](https://lovingkorean.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/standing-out1.jpg?w=640)
Azzie asked:
I have been a fan of Korea for a long time now, ever since before I was a teenager. Their culture and everything just blew my mind, in a good way, haha. It’s always interesting to read about its culture, what’s new in the music industry, sit back and watch their drama’s.
Though, it’s always been a hard time for me to ever meet a Korean, because I’m surrounded by… anti-Korean everything…
My story is a bit rough, but maybe you will all be able to help me.
I am a sixteen-year-old teenager turning seventeen in October, I have a very big attraction to anything Asian, not just Korean, although, everyone around me thinks I’m being weird by liking it. I get bullied in school just by listening to Korean (or any Asian) music, this boy even made fun of me for even listening to such “garbage” in front of the whole class, and they just laughed, and nobody wanted to make me feel better, NOT even my best friend, her excuse is that she doesn’t find Asian cultures attractive and she doesn’t want to be around people like me.
One day when I was out with my friends, like normal teenage girls we were talking about boys (normal, huh?) my friends started talking what types they like and they asked me, I’ll be honest, I was very nervous at first to admit it, but I swallowed the fear and admitted that I find Korean guys very, very attractive, as I expected they only laughed at my face, I felt so devastated that I couldn’t hang out with them anymore, I just ran off home in tears.
My family doesn’t give me any support either. My Mom is very racist towards Asians, especially Koreans since she thinks their music is “bad”, something I’ll never understand. I once won a raffle on a site where they shipped posters of a certain K-POP group, which happened to be one of my favorite bands, when I got the poster, I felt so blessed, so accomplished, I loved it, I hung it on my wall above my head, but when my parents saw it along with my sister (who only laughed how stupid they looked), my parents took the poster and threw it out, ripping it in pieces, my Mom kept repeating that if I’ll ever bring a Korean boy into the family, I’m no longer her daughter… Kind of hurts, huh…?
Having that said to you by your own mother… but I got over the poster.
And even till this day I keep my interests the same, and my urge for Korean music grows stronger and stronger. My question for you is that, maybe you could help me find a Korean friend for me? Or suggest how can I meet a person like that?
Even though it sometimes looks like the world is against my interests, I would really like to meet someone who I admire so much, who I think his culture is amazing. It doesn’t need to be dating, no no, I would like someone there for me, to understand what I like and just be alright if I like it. Could you tell me how could I find a Korean like that? When my town is empty when it comes to Koreans?
Haha, just by typing this out and looking at the past events that happened to me brings a tear in my eye… Thank you guys so much for helping me!
Answer:
This question hits close to home because I was always the odd one out. It was never more obvious then when I started attending school. I wasn’t especially bullied but I never fit in. And I never felt as alone as when I was surrounded by the many people in my class.
I completely understand that you are looking for someone to connect with, someone who can understand you.
I believe that in some way, it is this not-fitting-in that led to me be in a relationship with a Korean now. I never had special interest in Koreans. I was barely aware they existed before I met Kimchi Man. But what I did learn through my school years is that if I didn’t want to be alone, I was not going to have the luxury of choosing people based on their nationality, proximity, gender, age… There are many people just like you, but they are not going to be gathered in one place.
I did the same thing as you – I idealized. I imagined that somewhere out there, there must be a place where I would fit right in. A place full of people who were just like me. Let me tell you right now before you get disappointed – that place does not exist. And that place is not Korea. It is great that you like their culture, and it is great that you are interested in them. But Koreans are foreigners and you will be a foreigner to them. That is going to make it even less likely that you will fit in there than you do at home.
I don’t want to sound like the rest of the people crushing your dream. Because the truth is, you don’t need to fit in to not feel alone. And I think you might just as well find some Korean who will make the world seem a friendlier place, the way Kimchi Man did for me. But keep in mind that it is going to be A Korean, not KoreanS.
Additionally, you said “I would like someone there for me, to understand what I like and just be alright if I like it.” Doesn’t that sounds more like you are looking for other fans of Korean entertainment, not Koreans themselves? It is going to be much easier to connect to people who share your interests.
And finally, to answer your question, here is how to meet South Koreans.
– Oegukeen
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