So, here is the thing. I’m an American girl- I’m logical and rational- and I’ve never had an issue attracting a real life person, and yet here I am falling for a korean penpal I’ve never met. I feel utterly ridiculous, because how can you like someone you’ve never met? How can you miss someone you’ve never known? Anyway, we’ve been talking back and forth constantly everyday for a little over 2 months now, and I’m just super confused. I am going to Korea in the near future, and we have made plans to meet, I just need some advice. The first time you met Kimchi Man what were your thoughts? And right before meeting him, did you ever think twice about it? It being completely insane? Did you consider not telling him how you felt until after you met? I assume he likes me as we talk day and night, but I seriously half want to never talk to him again and be free of it, and the other half can’t imagine not having him there. I think the stamina just exist because we’ve never met, but I feel like since we know everything about each other there will be nothing to say in person. Ahhh I don’t know. Please just a few comforting words D”’:
I consider myself to be a logical and rational type of person as well. If nothing else, at least I try to make decisions using my brain, not my heart.
So when my heart was about to jump out of my chest just because I knew it was the time of the day when I receive a message from Kimchi Man – my Korean pen pal at that time – my brain was telling me that it is a matter of simple infatuation. I rationalized it: I attached qualities I like to a person I didn’t know well, idealized him, and now think it is him who I have feelings for. After all, I never even heard his voice, how could I possibly know what he is like?
After getting to know him a lot better – we spent every single day together for a year – I realized there isn’t a single thing I was wrong about him. Of course I learned many things I didn’t know, and discovered more about his personality, but the first general impression I got about him was spot on.
Without a doubt we can get a wrong impression about a person, especially if they try to misrepresent themselves. However, I believe this can happen offline just as much as online.
I fell in love with a real person, and I have no doubt that I would have fallen for him if we had met offline.
To be honest, I never had doubts when I was on my way to meet him. By that time we have talked a lot and shared a lot. Also, he showed me his diploma, his driver’s license, his army card… so I knew that everything he has told me about himself from the start was completely true. And just talking to him showed me he is someone who can be trusted. We were both more worried that the other person might change their mind and stop liking us, than that we might put ourselves in some danger.
So I would say, if you do have some doubts it’s probably best to listen to your instincts.
As far as worrying that you will run out of things to say – don’t. If you two are even remotely good for each other you will easily find something to talk about. After you have shared all of your interesting stories from the past, you will discover that talking about everyday things with someone you love is not boring at all. Kimchi Man is a very quiet guy, and we still talk every day for at least an hour. And when we are together there are many things that we enjoy doing that don’t require talking.