[Q&A] Is it crazy falling in love with a Korean guy online?

Anonymous asked:

So, here is the thing. I’m an American girl- I’m logical and rational- and I’ve never had an issue attracting a real life person, and yet here I am falling for a korean penpal I’ve never met. I feel utterly ridiculous, because how can you like someone you’ve never met? How can you miss someone you’ve never known? Anyway, we’ve been talking back and forth constantly everyday for a little over 2 months now, and I’m just super confused. I am going to Korea in the near future, and we have made plans to meet, I just need some advice. The first time you met Kimchi Man what were your thoughts? And right before meeting him, did you ever think twice about it? It being completely insane? Did you consider not telling him how you felt until after you met? I assume he likes me as we talk day and night, but I seriously half want to never talk to him again and be free of it, and the other half can’t imagine not having him there. I think the stamina just exist because we’ve never met, but I feel like since we know everything about each other there will be nothing to say in person. Ahhh I don’t know. Please just a few comforting words D”’:

I consider myself to be a logical and rational type of person as well. If nothing else, at least I try to make decisions using my brain, not my heart.

So when my heart was about to jump out of my chest just because I knew it was the time of the day when I receive a message from Kimchi Man – my Korean pen pal at that time – my brain was telling me that it is a matter of simple infatuation. I rationalized it: I attached qualities I like to a person I didn’t know well, idealized him, and now think it is him who I have feelings for. After all, I never even heard his voice, how could I possibly know what he is like?

After getting to know him a lot better – we spent every single day together for a year – I realized there isn’t a single thing I was wrong about him. Of course I learned many things I didn’t know, and discovered more about his personality, but the first general impression I got about him was spot on.

Without a doubt we can get a wrong impression about a person, especially if they try to misrepresent themselves. However, I believe this can happen offline just as much as online.

I fell in love with a real person, and I have no doubt that I would have fallen for him if we had met offline.

To be honest, I never had doubts when I was on my way to meet him. By that time we have talked a lot and shared a lot. Also, he showed me his diploma, his driver’s license, his army card… so I knew that everything he has told me about himself from the start was completely true. And just talking to him showed me he is someone who can be trusted. We were both more worried that the other person might change their mind and stop liking us, than that we might put ourselves in some danger.

So I would say, if you do have some doubts it’s probably best to listen to your instincts.

As far as worrying that you will run out of things to say – don’t. If you two are even remotely good for each other you will easily find something to talk about. After you have shared all of your interesting stories from the past, you will discover that talking about everyday things with someone you love is not boring at all. Kimchi Man is a very quiet guy, and we still talk every day for at least an hour. And when we are together there are many things that we enjoy doing that don’t require talking.

– Oegukeen

15 thoughts on “[Q&A] Is it crazy falling in love with a Korean guy online?

  1. Wow such a wonderful story. I honestly never believe in online dating, but I think I should try my luck after reading your blog. Thank you for sharing your happiness and experiences with all of us :)

    • Thank you :) We never went online with dating in mind, but sometimes you find love where you least expect it. Don’t rule out any possiblities. Good luck!

      • I totally scare to meet someone that dont look like what they are in the picture that he/she sent to me, as well as scam too. People want you for that lovely house behind you in your webcam. At least now that you made me believe there is change that you can find love on the internet, but I also dont want it to become a trend in the future. It’s unhealthy to addicted to social networking.

        • If there is a chance the person might look different than in the picture they sent you then you have exchanged far too few pictures and talked for too short of a time. I would say you are definately not ready to meet that person.

          I didn’t use my real photo on my profile, but when I got to know him and by the time Kimchi Man and I met at the airport we have shared hundereds of photos, as well as videos of our every day lives. On top of that I’ve seen his photo on his driver’s licence, army card and passport.

          Ironically, Kimchi Man and I didn’t use any social networks when we met. We only started accounts for this blog :)

          • Oh , I am trying out one of those dating site called plenty of fish. Honestly I feel like I won’t find a that person on these side, but definitely I believe I might find that person from my online game, or my blog. :)

            I am happy for you guys, I want my fairy tale to come true one day just like yours. :P

            • Maybe it was easier for us because we didn’t meet on a dating site so we formed a strong friendship before we fell in love.

              Thank you, and good luck. You can find your love, but sometimes it requires a lot of patience.

  2. Look it’s like this!i meet this guy @ the airport he was part of mission team the dr. I was the peasant lol! Well when I first saw him he had all this thick blk hair n he looked like he had been working long hrs n tired of course. I shook his hands,he shook my hand n was bow. He had on bright red n white candy stripe polo shirt with some logo on it. I kept pepping @ him. He loves his computer. Lol. I thought to myself u just wasp ur little self in this airport, now take a chill pill relax n stop working o hard. Let yr hair down, laugh, have fun. No however he was nieve when people liked him, he was to worried bout working n having his underwear twisted in a bundle to relax. Lol! O I made it my business to go by the pool, hoping he would follow. My plan was to get close as possible to the pool. So I can push him in the pool n that would either make him laugh r get him furious.ao I push this tall handsome blk hair man in the pool n walk away laughing, he jump out ran after me,grab me n hugged me tight as he could n kiss me in front of all them people. I smiled n said. U need to put a ring on my finger, n where is my mansion u spoke bout u haven’t brought yet. Lol! I just lovesssssss u

  3. I want to share my story too. I hope it’s okay for you.
    So there was this guy from south korea whom I chatted with on Kakaotalk. At first it was just smalltalk and I saw everything from a friendship side. (sorry for my poor english) Well sometimes he just send selcas of himself without even writing something and I always thought it’s cute and adorable, so I started sending him selcas of me too and we apways complimented each other. Now one year later ( still writing in the mean time) I started having this strange feeling in my heart when he messaged me. I didn’t really want to believe my heart because I actually don’t believe in online romance. After days passed, I couldn’t ignore my feelings anymore and I told him. He then wrote “I love you” and I first asked him if he really does and so on. Then after that he suddenly called me on kakaotalk and I wasn’t really sure if I should answer but I did. So we talked to each other and he told me that he really loves me and that he wants to come here. I was so happy after we talked on the phone to each other and now I’m always sad thinking about him beeing so far away from each other. I know I have to wait until we can meet each other and it isn’t long anymore. So well yeah I live in Europe too. He goes to university and I’m still in High School. Do you believe that it could work with us? Greets from mimi

    • Of course I believe it could work. If I didn’t then I wouldn’t believe our relationship could work either.

      But you’re still pretty young so don’t rush anything :)

    • Hi Mimi^^
      I have a very similar experience as you and I am also a high school student too~~
      Would there be any chance that we could contact each other?

      Thank you ^^

  4. Hi~ wonderful story and I love the stories from the comments as well. I also want to share my story. I met this wonderful man on this app called HelloTalk. Of course, it was me who messaged him first. Before talking to him, I never thought he would become a very special person to me. We have been talking everyday for the past 4 months. (Well, almost 4 months on the 20th) I fall in love with this amazing man every day. Right now, there are no plans to meet each other soon. Why? Because we both are students and want to graduate before we meet. (Well at least I do) It will take 2 years…but these days, I’ve been questioning myself if we will last. Don’t get me wrong, I would love for us to last for a long time..but the distance..and our daily lives are sometimes getting in the way. It’s really depressing waiting for him all day. But, it is definitely worth waiting for because it makes our talks even more special. After graduation, I plan to go back to Korea and become an English teacher in his hometown.. Or probably near his hometown. I cannot wait until the day we meet. I want to share everything with him. ^^ The road is uneasy and our future is unsure, but if we focus on what is happening now, I am sure everything will go as planned. :)


  5. Hi Oegukeen~ I’ve been looking through your blog since last year. I also commented way way back regarding my situation with a Korean guy online. Until now I am still in the same spot. I met this Korean guy more than a year ago. We constantly talked to each other and at first he have been very vocal that he likes me. (I was really confused what he means with “i like you”, maybe he likes me as a person and as a friend?) I told him that I feel the same and we continue being friends. He went back to school after his military service and since then we talked less. He told me once that we can talk everyday but not “all the time”. Maybe he got bored because we have nothing new to talk about ourselves. He won’t message me first so I always initiate the conversation but I try not to bother him so I message him once a week or less and he never failed to message me back. He always tells me that it will be better if I was there and I should also study Korean. One time we talked about relationships and he said that he haven’t found a girl yet and maybe it will take him a long time to have a girlfriend. I told him that there’s a guy that I like but I can’t confess. He said why can’t I, he told me that I am attractive so I shouldn’t be shy. I grabbed the chance to tell him that he’s the guy I like. He told me he feels the same way. But I guess he is not into online relationship. He told me that we can’t meet. (maybe he means that we can’t date because we’re too far from each other). I don’t know what to say and I can feel that he can’t express his feelings too because of his limited english. I want to level up what we have but seems like he’s not in the same boat as me. Sometimes, I just feel absurd thinking about a guy a just met online and I’ve been bothered day by day with this growing feelings towards him. I really want to meet him too but my finances won’t allow me. I also find it disappointing that he was able to go to the US but not in the Philippines where I live. He told me that he didn’t chose to go there but her mom. Maybe I am not his priority and he only sees me as an option? I don’t know, I am so confused. Should I tell him that “I love him”? Should I wait? Should I wait for him or should I let go with what we have? Because if I won’t let go, I will not also be able to let go of the feelings I have for him. :(

  6. Reading all the previous comments/ stories has me teary eyed . I too met a Korean guy though HelloTalk and from there we started speaking on KakaoTalk everyday for the past six months . He was always so sweet to me and really funny , when we both had time to spare between our University classes we would spend over an hour talking over the phone . He became my best friend and we shared everything with each other, often he would send me pictures of himself with his friends when he was out with them , and pictures of himself and his family too. That made me feel like I was apart of his life. Many times he told me That I am the type of girl he would like to date , and truthfully he is my ideal type too and I was falling hard .
    I do believe in finding love online but it was too much torture for me to not see him and be able to hug him , even though I do plan to visit Korea when I graduate, its still a long time from now . So without telling him how I felt I deleted my KakaoTalk account and deleted him from HelloTalk as well. I done this two weeks ago and I’ve been filled with so much regret . I cry quite a lot because I threw away my best friend as if he wasn’t important to me . I wish I could undo it but I can’t so I will just have to live with this regret and hopefully someday get over it.

    Kelly L

  7. Hello there~ I met my korean boyfriend online too. I actually had started learning korean like 2 months before i met him and I was looking for a penpal so I can improve. I saw his profile on a site called conversationexchange and just yolo messaged him (i never message people first tho, because im too shy). And we started talking, and of course i was being as silly and weird as i am in front of my friends. I remember the first picture he sent me of him i thought “wow he looks like an ajushi”. So we kept talking and became good friends and then surprisingly a couple. We don’t know how we became a couple. Just one day we realised that we are a couple. xDDD Literally we went through our whole chat history on kakaotalk and couldn’t find how we became a couple. xDD The first time he called me on the phone was so weird. I was so shy to speak, so he mainly did the speaking and it went on for 4 hours. Same thing on skype, i was shy to speak and always hid my face. But now i go on skype even before i fix my bedhead. We are 10 months together now. He is coming after 12 days on July 9, and he will stay 2 weeks with me and my family and then i will go to Korea with him and meet his parents. Im so worried about that, though. >.< They know about me but i dont think they really like foreigners. Do you have any ideas how to impress them? The only thing i can impress them with, in my opinion, is my korean skills (topik level 3) aaaaand i guess my native bulgarian? That might seem exotic to them because Bulgaria is very unknown. kkkkk Also im worried about how to dress in front of them. I am not very stylish…Im a jeans-and-dad's-tshirts kind of girl. D: If you have any advice please tell me.

Comment (you DON'T need to fill in e-mail address)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.