This is the place where our readers asked questions about
- dating a Korean guy,
- having a Korean boyfriend,
- South Korean dating culture,
- …
in the comment section below.
Check out answers section, which you can always find by clicking on the menu on top, to see long in-depth answers we have given, mostly relating to relationships with Korean men. Our answers in the comments below are somewhat shorter, but can still be useful if you’re in a similar situation.
If you’re wondering why we’re not taking new questions any more you can find out here.
For older questions and our answers see Ask Us Archive
539 responses to “Ask us”
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is it always the caucasian girls who get to date korean guys.how can one black girl be connected to a korean guy.any forums that can connect us.
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try searching the “BWAM” (black women and asian men) community, and check out my blog for advice on korean boys and black girls! hope to help~ depending on where you live, there may even be korean town!
http://westerngirleasternboy.wordpress.com/2013/05/16/korean-boys-and-black-girls/
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It’s really not true that it’s always the Caucasian girls. Far from it.
I don’t know any forums like that, sorry. But I also don’t know any forums for Caucasian girls who want to date Korean guys :)
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Hi,
My situation seems to be very different to a lot of the people here…I met a Korean guy a few weeks ago, a friend of a friend, and there was an attraction straight away. We met again a couple of days later and went to study (we’re in university), while there we were very close, and he stroked my face and was generally affectionate but nothing happened. He then had to go away for a week, but we spoke every day, and the day he came back he invited me round to his and we ended up sleeping together (which I wouldn’t normally do!). He initiated it, and I was surprised because this isn’t what I normally hear about Korean guys. We spoke every day after that and he came round to mine a couple of days later. We’ve also arranged to go see a movie (with some other friends) on Friday.
I like him, but i’m finding it difficult because everyone says that ‘good korean boys’ don’t act that way. He’s lovely though, and seems like a really nice guy. I asked him and he said that sometimes if he likes a girl a lot then things might happen in a short time, if they are ok with it. I didn’t think about it too much at first because i’m Western and it’s more common here, but it seems like it’s unusual for his culture. Now i’m wondering which it is: if he figured it would be ok because this is how western people behave, if he’s just using me to sleep with because ‘all white girls are sluts’, or if sometimes it really happens this way with Koreans too. I don’t want to sound egotistical (because in the UK i’m just average looking) but i am attractive by asian standards of beauty and got hit on all the time when I lived in Asia, so i’m a little concerned it has something to do with the way I look…He’s lived here in the UK for almost 2 years.
Thanks in advance for you advice!-
Hello,
I’m not Oeguken but I think my answer can help you out a bit.
I’m a Canadian-Vietnamese girl and I have native Korean friends.To be honest, a good Korean guy will never invite you over to sleep with you (unless you’re his girlfriend).
First, if they like a girl, they will respect her and not initiate any kind of sketchy move and that goes for all Asian cultures in general.Now, you must keep in mind that most Korean guys have a “white woman fantasy” and come in the West with a preconceived notions of white girls. (E.g one night stands, friends with benefits, the “easy” women…). Not all Korean guys have this type of thinking but they are also men before they are Koreans so if they can get a woman with benefits, I think they will say yes.
In Korea, they are not used to seeing a white girl everyday as they don’t have the luxury to live in a pot like Westerners do. So they will stare at you and some will try to hit on you in an attempt to maybe go further with you since the only idea they have of white girls is what is being portrayed in the media (Hollywood movies) that is accessible to them, just the same as how Korean guys are portrayed in K-dramas that is accessible to Western girls.
So your Korean guy may be very well using you as a “friend with benefits”…which is never good in the long run, especially for you. He might have acted a certain just to see how easily charmed you were and took advantage of the fact that a lot of Western girls have a Korean fetish.
Not all Korean guys will come in the West to sleep with white girls. In fact, there are good ones out there and those ones will not invite you over one on one, unless he’s throwing a party with other friends.
Next time, you will need to be careful and if you’re still into Korean guys at that point, then look for the good ones. Those ones will take it slow with you and will have good values.
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Also, I still wouldn’t have gone to his place if I were you, had I known that he was interested in me. I would have waited to see if he was a good guy instead.
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You have a very narrow-minded view of the world, and Koreans.
It’s 21st century. Not every male-female interaction needs to end with a marriage. And just because it started with sleeping together, does in no way mean that it won’t actually end in marriage.
I don’t like that you label Korean guys who want to sleep with someone right away as not “good”. Just because you or I wouldn’t do it, does not make people who would bad.
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I’m confused. You want him sleeping with you just after he met you to have nothing to do with how you look? How is that supposed to work?
You should take it as a compliment and relax.
I’m finding it humorous that you are worried the guy you slept with is a slut. Oh, how the tables have turned. ^^
Anyway, if sleeping with you right away is the only thing that raised a red flag for you, and there is nothing else in his behavior that would show he’s taking advantage of you then I wouldn’t worry if I was you.
You are judging him just because of prejudices you have about Korean culture. You said it yourself, if he was a Westerner then it would be ok. These are unfair double standards, and you should try to get rid of them.
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I’m Vietnamese girl and dating a Korean guy. He has expressed to his mom that he think he is ready to propose. She was not to happy with the idea. She stated that I do not have any Korean mannerism. Can you shed some light on what the mannerisms are. I never knew that different Asian cultures have different mannerisms.
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Hi! I love this blog, and I’m just reading through all the posts. I’m sure the blog owners will get to you!^^
But, in my experience, Korean culture has very particular manners. You should use both hands to receive something from an elder, you should turn away and cover your face when you drink with an elder, and you should also bow (usually 90 degrees) when you see an elder. Also, your tone of voice and way of dress is also a type of manner– speak quietly in a kind tone and dress modestly. I think if you do these things, and also help his mom when she is cooking or cleaning, which is what Korean daughter-in-laws are expected to do, then I think you will be okay!
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Becomingnina gave you very good advice and described what you should do. The most important thing in Korea is to respect your elders. Even if they are just one year older.
It shouldn’t be expected of you to act exactly like a Korean, but you should also make an effort to learn about their manners to show good will.
But what is the most surprising to me is that you have a Korean man you are ready to marry, and it is HIS mother we are talking about, why are you not asking him to help you with this!? You should be able to talk about this (and anything else) freely with your future husband.
At the end of the day it is his job to deal with his parents and your job to deal with yours.
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Hi .. I want ask .. how I can foind Korean boyfriend ? thanks for answer <3
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If there are no Korean guys where you live then the only other solution you have is online.
But if I may be so bold to say, I don’t think actively searching online for a boyfriend can end well in most cases.
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Hello! Can I ask what will happen if the Korean I’m attracted to is a solo child? I know that it could turn into a disaster, I’m just curious what other consequences are awaiting. If you don’t mind :)
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I have no idea what you mean :)
If you mean that parents have different expectations if they have only one child, I don’t think that’s true.
If you think people who are an only child are spoiled, I don’t think that’s true either.
I did read someplace that if Korean men is the only male child then parents won’t let him be with a foreign woman or expect his bride to blah blah blah… Not true at all. Kimchi Man is his parents’ only male child.
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What I mean is if a Korean is a solo child, are there less chances of his parents accepting me?
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I think it depends more on how conservative his parents are than how many children they have.
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Hmm? You made a point, thx.
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Hi. I have been in constant contact with a Korean guy since Feb 2012. We finally met just this month and he is now my boyfriend. He has already talked about marriage and has met my family and he toured them around as well while in Korea. I was just wondering if it is normal for Korean guys to talk about marriage early, not that I find it bad. He is turning 25 this year but 26 fot the Korean age. Thanks! :)
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It is impossible to say what it normal. When is it normal time for men in your country to talk about marriage?
I did read that there is a pressure for Korean people to marry before 30, but I have never experienced that personally. Kimchi Man and his family don’t seem to have that notion.
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I am from a conservative Chinese community. The guys get pressured before 30 as well. I am just quite new with the long distance situation. But you know what they say, that distance is only temporary. More love to you and Kimchi Man. I appreciate your response :)
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Loving Korean 
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