This is the place where our readers asked questions about
- dating a Korean guy,
- having a Korean boyfriend,
- South Korean dating culture,
- …
in the comment section below.
Check out answers section, which you can always find by clicking on the menu on top, to see long in-depth answers we have given, mostly relating to relationships with Korean men. Our answers in the comments below are somewhat shorter, but can still be useful if you’re in a similar situation.
If you’re wondering why we’re not taking new questions any more you can find out here.
For older questions and our answers see Ask Us Archive
539 responses to “Ask us”
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Hi Oegukeen, Ive just found this website by chance and thank you for your posts and responses i ve skipped almost all of them. I want to ask the question about korean mother in law. I have a korean friend who sometimes gives me a sign that he likes me, calls me always from abroad, gives me advices on my study. but i still didnt respond him because i dont know korean culture very well and family relationships. Once he said he wants his future wife to care his parents too and wants korean looking girl, he says i look very similar to koreans. this kind of wishes he always mention during the chat, kind of informing me, or may be checking can i do that or not. At that time i said if i would his wife i cant do it properly and i would like to live seperately. The matter is that he is about 30 and im muslim asian or may be korean looking girl that 4 years younger than him. He doesnt like kdramas, kpops or any other entertainment shows and we never talk about since when i once mentioned he kindly ignored this topic. Sometimes he seems too conservative and traditional, though he studied in UK and Australia spending a lot of time there. After that that we started to communicate too rare, and why i couldnt understand. Im not that afraid to do the first step as long as he is open minded, and just i sometimes write him simply as how he is there as a start but i get hardly the answer. And what does mean for one korean guy and his parents if girl rejects living with them, is it a disrspect or does a girl loose her face? I am aware that every person and famility not the same, but still there some family values.
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Hello,
Oh dear, I hope when you say skipped, you mean skimmed ^^
You are right that every Korean family and person is different. When I asked Kimchi Man about this he said: “Who would want to live with their parents!?” I agree with him and want us to live alone. On the other hand, I know he loves his parents, so I don’t need any culture to tell me what the right thing to do is if they need my help.
I’m a bit confused because at first you say he is the one calling you, and you’re don’t respond, but at the end you say you’re the one who’s writing and he’s not answering.
I think it’s good two people make sure they are on the same page about living arrangements before they move in together but it seems you two can hardly set up any communication, are not even close to a relationship, let alone cohabiting.
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Where exactly are you from Oegukeen? There are not many European ladies dating Korean guys… I am Italian and I’ve been married to my Korean husband for three years now (but we dated for 12 years before that… took me a while to decide to move to Korea permanently!). We have a baby girl, SoYeon, now 14 months. I just discovered your blog through msleetobe :) You’re doing a great job! Say 안녕하세요 to Kimchi man from me :)
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There are indeed few of us! I am glad you found our blog. :) Thank you so much for your encouraging words.
I only say I’m from Europe, to keep every non-Korean woman feeling welcome on this blog. It doesn’t matter where we are from, we’re all in the same boat ^^
Do you like living in Korea?
Say 안녕하세요 to your wonderful family.
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Hello, i just actually today discovered your blog, and it is so very informative and wonderful. thank you for all the knowledge you are sharing.
I would please like to solicit your opinion on the situation i find myself in. I am a woman of African decent, who is not American. Recently, i happened to unknowingly join a well known website for people all over the world to meet each other, because i accepted an app without really checking it out. I decided to just use it to make friends and after my first day of trying out the site, i met what has so far turned out to be a wonderful korean male friend. from the very first moment we started to exchange messages, our exchanges have been fun, quite long, and in detail. sometimes it is light fun, sometimes it is serious exxchanges talking about our individual opinions on serious matters. I would like to mention that on the site, i get bombarded with messages from men who think i am so so beautiful and want to get to know me, but they approach me in a purely sexual manner, which is a great turn off for me. but this korean guy is the utmost gentleman, in fact, i keen to think he must think i am ugly, lol. i don’t know, and even if he does, it has not affected our friendship. he has commented to me that he thinks i am very smart. from the start, he told me he is naturally very shy and reserved and he finds it hard to talk to people, especially foreigners, and worse yet, black women. he said that his nerves get the better part of him. but our exchanges seem so smooth and easy, that i told him that if he had never told me that, i would have never noticed.
i am also a single mother, and attending medical school. he and I are the same age, that is 31. i deliberately did not let anyone know i have a child because i figured if i was just looking for friends, it wasn’t really any of their business, and if i actually got close enough to anyone, then i would let it come out naturally, just like i do in my offline relationships. well, the talk about single parent families came up eventually, and i felt it was the right time to tell him that i had a child from a previous failed relationship. i had always heard that koreans look down on single mothers, so i was very nervous about telling this to him, and was sure that our friendship would end, but i felt like if that was the case, then it would be better to find out if he was worth my effort anyway.
he told me his opinion, which was that he hated infidelity and movies that glorify it, and that he would rather remain single for life than fathom the possibility of raising a child in a single parent household. in my reply i revealed to him that i was a single mother and also explained to him how i ended up in the situation, because i did not want to be perceived as a promiscuous slut. in his reply, he was incredibly sweet and admited that although it is not something he is used to, he knows that it is not uncommon among westerners, and that it wasn’t my fault for having loved someone and failed at love. he told me that as long as i am happy in my decision that my life is the most important and that is all that matters. he elluded to the fact that maybe he wouldn’t have expressed himself the way he had if he knew i had a child, but i didn’t tell him so he did not know, but that he understood why i didn’t want to, and that he was very grateful that i chose him to share a subject that was hard for me to reveal to him. then he told me that he did not think i was stupid, but that he views me as brave, intelligent, adventurous and independent. then he told me that it was true that in korea, single mothers are looked down upon, but that it was mostly by the older generation, and that it angers him when he hears them talk about the women that way, because in life any thing can happen. he said that he thinks the younger generation is moving away from these biased cultural views and he knows it will take time, but he hopes it’s all for the better.
in light of all this, i had made a pact with myself that i was not going to “like” anyone in anyway like that, but the more i exchange with him, the more i find myself liking him against my own will and good senses. i am not saying that i think he has feelings for me, like i said, i think he must view me as physically unattractive despite everyone else saying otherwise. he has never once told me i am pretty, cute or beautiful, and i don’t know if it is because he is shy or what. before he found out that i had a child, the most he told me was that he is not a smart man, but that it is i who is the very smart person. lol. So i want to know, even though i know you may not have the answer, but want to hear your opinion on what a korean man’s view might be on being with someone who is a single mother.
thank you, and i look forward to your reply. i am very sorry for the long message, but i just wanted to make sure everything was clear.
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Hello,
I’m glad you found us. It’s an interesting question. I am going to have to ask my Korean boyfriend about this one, and I’ll get back to you in a day or two.
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hello,
lol, please do not forget me. thanks
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We didn’t forget. I ended up in the ER recently, so as you can see I wasn’t able to publish anything since. Sorry for the long wait
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oh my goodness, i am so sorry. i hope you are doing well and recovering. please take your time. thank you
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I answered your question. I hope you like it.
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Hello, you have a nice blog.
I want to meet European girls, can you suggest any sites where i can make contact for chatting?
Cheers.
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I think http://www.interpals.net might be your best bet since you can do searched for people from specific country, but also specific continent.
Other than that, I don’t think there is a special place where Europeans hang out, it is more on a country basis, and for that you need to know the langauge of the country in question.
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Hi. I had this korean friend. But then we hang out more often and we act like couples but actually we’re not. At first he would ask me if I miss him, then I would answer him with a yes. And I would throw the same question to him and he would answer me with a yes too.
Later after spending some time with him, I asked him of “what are we?” He just answered “I don’t know”.
Asking about if we like each other he told me yes and I did the same too.
I’m just confused if he really likes me as a friend or more than that .
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It seems he likes you. I’m not sure but it could be he’s worried you’ll reject him if he admits his feelings.
When I fell in love with my Korean guy I just told him openly: “I fell in love with you.” It made it much easier for him to admit his feelings to me too. :)
You can read our article: How to know if Korean guy likes you.
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Hello,
Im heading to Seoul in March and studying Korean for one month by myself, I would like to know is it common to talk to strangers in bookstores, coffee shops and make some local Korean guys friend when Im alone? Or vice versa, will the guys talk to single woman in coffee shops or so?
Also, do Korean guys accept a girlfriend or wife who is older than them in age?
Thanks a lots.
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Hello,
I’ve never been to Korea so I have no idea, and Kimchi Man is a local there so his experience is different than yours will be. I think Korean guys might be shy to speak English, and one month of learning Korean doesn’t seem enough to talk to anyone. Still, you might meet someone, who knows.
As far as the second part of your question goes, we’ve already answered that, so please read Do Korean men like older women.
I hope that helps.
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hi! i was in korea this past summer, and it is very common for korean men to approach women they find attractive at coffee shops, etc. they will probably ask, “where are you from?” hopefully, you’ll be able to speak some korean, and hopefully he’ll be able to speak some english. its always fun to learn from each other! also, being an older woman, or noona (누나), is fine for most korean men, especially the younger ones. it definitely depends on the guy (and just how old you LOOK) ^^
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We don’t really care of the age. It is not normal to talk to the strangers in Korea, but the foreigner is the exception. You or we may go and talk.
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Loving Korean 
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