[Q&A] How to know if a Korean guy likes you?

Having Korean boyfriend has given me a much better insight into Korean culture and customs. I know how to tell Korean age, I know why Korean chopsticks are made of metal, I know there is no such thing as “Sea of Japan”, How to tell if Korean guy likes you - East Sea vs Sea of JapanI know how to address Koreans of different age, I know to handle everything with both hands…

What I don’t know is how to read Korean men’s minds (a pity). I am a bit closer to it with Kimchi Man, but not much.

All the Korean men I have met have been very different and diverse. So has their attitude towards relationships. Some are going to tell you they love you even before they know the color of your eyes, others will not be vocal about their feelings even when they are ready to die for you.

For everyone who is wondering what is the secret to understanding a Korean man’s heart: There is none.

You don’t need to worry that they are sending some secret Korean signal which you are not picking up. Culture has a hard time influencing something as personal and fundamental as love.

How to know if Korean guy likes you - Oppa do you like me 오빠 나 좋아해?That being said, I completely understand what it is like falling in love and having no idea if object of your adoration feels the same way. I was there.  We all want to know for sure if we are happily in love or rushing towards heartbreak. That’s why I am going to do my best to help the two women who asked the questions bellow. I just want to make sure everyone understands I would be no more or less qualified to answer those questions even if I had never met a Korean guy in my life.

And if you know a Korean guy, a Korean guy you like, and you don’t know, if this Korean guy you like, likes you back – forget that he’s Korean.

That might just be the thing you need to truly see what he is trying to tell you.

You might also like:

How to know if a Korean guy likes you Does a Korean guy like me how to tell if a Korean guy is into me
Will a Korean guy be attracted to me? How does a Korean guy court girls? Will my Korean man marry me?

Anonymous asked:

I am in love with a Korean guy, we go to the same university and we met when we took the same class about a year ago. I am 19 and he is 21.

I always feel and act very shy, when I am around a person I really like. When there is no him, I am very funny, communicative and totally normal.

 I am not Korean (still Asian), and I don’t speak Korean.

The problem is that…He is not a shy one at all, at least he seems to be so. Sometimes when we meet at some university events, we talk, and he seems to like me as a girl, but we never text/chat after that. I mean, we talk only when we see each other. That’s why talking to him is a very rare occasion, because we meet rarely.

 The first time I saw him this year after a long period of time, was another university event, he sent an invitation to me on Facebook, which I don’t think was something special or anything, but I decided to go there still. On the day when he sent the invitation, our eyes met at a cafe, when I was walking past him, but I was with my girl friend and he was with a girl friend as well, so I thought: ”Alright, I haven’t seen you for ages, why say Hi then, you probably don’t even remember me”. He didn’t wave hi to me either. So yeah, then BOOM I got that invitation, and I decided to go. Cause I thought that accidental meeting had something to do with the invitation.

When I just got there, he came up first saying ”Ooh, it’s been a long time” and hugged me, which was a bit weird, because we are not that close friends at all, till that time, we probably had a talk for a couple of times, not more. I mean, I’m not that kind of friend of his, who he could miss. We were never close at all. But I think at the moment when he hugged me, I clearly understood that I liked him a lot. I knew I liked him before, but I thought it was not serious.

I met him the second time about a couple days ago at a university event as well. There were very few people there, but he took the time to come up to me and talk and I tried to act as normal and funny as I could, but I was burning inside and shaking and all that… in the end he said that he’d like to attend an event of mine (I’m the president of a student group) so I promised to send him an invitation.

Everything seems to be okay, but I don’t understand, why he is so passive, if he likes me. Does it mean, that he doesn’t like me as a girl, but just being friendly? He never sends me messages or anything like that… I am hesitating to message him, cause I’m afraid I would never get a reply…and I think that a guy must make the first moves. And if he doesn’t, then it means he’s not interested, in my opinion. I would understand, if he was a shy one, but… as i said before he’s not. He’s very friendly and communication is not a problem for him.

And the second problem is that I don’t know for sure if he has a girlfriend or not. However, the Facebook status says Single otherwise, the last thing I would want to do is ruin a relationship…

Also, I thought about the problem, that I am not Korean, and I thought about the possibility, that he is not interested in me as a girl, because I’m not Korean.

Also, I think it’s worth mentioning that he’s kind of Americanized Korean. He has been living in the USA for about 5 years I believe. But he almost always hangs out with Korean friends.

anyways..please heeeeeeelp

               I don’t think that the guy has to make the first move. Why would he? Maybe he is shy when it comes to asking girls out, maybe he is passive, maybe he sees you only as a friend, maybe he already has a girlfriend… You could go all day long guessing “maybes” if you don’t do something about it.

Even if he sees you just as a friend, making the first move might make him see you in a different light.

It’s never easy being rejected but Facebook and text messaging have certainly made it a lot easier than it used to be. You don’t need to pour your heart out to him, just ask him: “Do you want to go out for a coffee/movie/walk”. If he says yes, there is a very good chance he likes you as a girl :)

I have no idea if he has a girlfriend or if he is a national chauvinist. Since he is human, both are possible.  Koreans I know have no problem dating someone who is not Korean, and in my case not even Asian. Many questions we got on this site are from Asian non-Korean women who are dating a Korean man, so obviously not all Koreans have a problem with it.

And why wouldn’t you want to ruin his relationship? You are 19, and 21! It’s not like he is married with children and you are tearing apart a family. If you asking him out is enough to ruin his relationship then that relationship deserves to be ruined. I was in a relationship when I met Kimchi Man and I am much happier now. On the other hand, no matter who come to my doorstep now, no one can take me away from Kimchi Man.

You should know that if I didn’t make the first move, Kimchi Man would never dare do it himself (maybe not never but my guess is it would take him 10 years or so ^^). And he was very interested in me. If you keep thinking a girl shouldn’t make the first move, another one will come along who thinks differently and snatch this guy right under your nose.

Ching asked:

Hi…

I’m half Chinese half Filipino girl but my family and I moved to Phil for good when I was still young.. I am now 22 years old, and I met this Korean guy last year almost 9 months ago.. well, I just really feel so alone about this so I hope you can help me out.. here’s my story..

 9 months ago July 2011 to be exact I applied in a Korean school in our city, I was accepted and first week in school I had only 2 students and one of the two was the guy I fell in love with. At that time I was 21 and he’s 25 I think. At first I dont really feel anything for him, just the teacher-student relationship. I also noticed he was this shy type of guy, first 2 weeks with him he barely talked. But after about 4 weeks we just got close and I dunno how it happened. But after that he started teasing me everytime we see each other in the hallway, he’s calling me vampire and i’m calling him werewolf. A lot of teasing and all. And then one time during class he asked me who I like then I told him I like Lee Seung Gi [korean actor] then he repeated that question again and I answered him same answer I gave him before then after than he start acting like his heart is in pain [physically] at first I dunno what does that action means but my friend told me he might be hurt that it wasnt him that I like and so he started acting that in a joke way so it wont be obvious.. then he also asked if I do have a boyfriend that time and I said no and he told me that I must get a boyfriend, and I also mentioned to him that I have a curfew around 7pm and he told me that my boyfriend might want to be with me more than my curfew time.. what does that mean??

 and sometimes he’ll notice what I’m wearing like last time when I was wearing a coat and I just passed by him he really asked me isnt your coat thick? dont u feel hot? and one time when I had a new student and he’s kinda good looking and almost same age with me, he started asking questions like, So are you happy that the good looking new student is in your class?… who’s better me or him? – those kind of questions and I dunno why he’s asking me like that..

 and one of my friend in that school was also his tutor.. so whenever he’ll have class with that friend of mine he would usually asked her to call me and let me go inside their room while they’re having class and it happened many times, i was just there listening to their conversation and whenever I decided to move out the room he would usually stop me and say Vampire where are you going? just stay here.

 or sometimes when we meet each other in the hallway he would blocked my way and wont let me pass and he’d tell me Touch me first before I let you pass.. and you know this kind of actions he’s showing me made me fell for him I think.. fell harder that I dont even know how to get out of this situation..

 and during his birthday I gave him a not Happy Birthday Werewolf! and he took a picture of it and upload it in his fb..

 he also challenged me one time to play snake and ladder with him and he told me if he wins I wont give him assignments for 1 week and if i win he wont complain even if I give him assignments everyday.. its the first time that I have ever played that game and it was with him, so I treasure it a lot (:

 what do you think his actions mean?? does it mean something? does he like me?

 ah, a day after his birthday he informed all his tutors that he will be absent for the whole day because last night he got drunk and hangover the next morning.. so I was expecting that he’ll also be absent in my class but I was surprised when he entered my room that day.. so I asked him Why are u here? I thought you’d be absent the whole day and he said I was thinking that if I wont come here you’ll be alone here. I was so touched when he told me that but ofcourse I act as if its nothing… and then 1 week after that he was removed in my class and so I started to feel like I was left hanging, a lot of questions are running into my head.. my friends were telling me that he must be afraid that he’d fall for me and so on…

 what I did was I tried to talk to him again, initiate the conversation first but I can feel this change like it’s not the way it was back before.. we dont talk that much anymore unlike before when he was still in my class.. we passed by each other in the hallway without even saying hi.. I asked him he doesnt talked to me anymore, he said He was shy. I tried everything to gain back the friendship we once had the closeness we once had… but I think I falied or maybe I didnt try harder? I was asking myself What should I do? but later on I just stopped trying to talk to him just trying to accept that maybe it wasnt meant to be.. September that year we stopped talking, offcially. February this year he went back to korea without talking to me. He had my number. This march a friend of mine who is also his friend told me that he has a kakaotalk so why not try to add him. So I added him and again I have to initiate the talking.. we talked and he told me he misses me but overjoyed about his message i wasnt able to reply to him right away and then he sent me a message again saying he was just kidding with the ‘haha’ … what does that mean???! I hate him but still I believe he meant it when he told me he misses me.. what do u think? Now, I decided to just stop talking to him stop initiating just to talk to him cause its always me who texts first maybe he really doesnt care at all so why would I waste my time with him…

 please help me what to do is my decision right?

 I badly need your opinion guys.. I hope you can help me out with this..

 sorry I think I wrote too long, its just that if i skipped a few lines u might not be able to get my situation.. kinda a long story (:

 he’s still single until now and he told me before that he once had a girlfriend 4 years ago…

 hoping to get a reply from you soon ^^ thanks ~

I employed help from Kimchi Man on this one. He says guy obviously liked you before but something changed. You can’t know what changed and to obsess about it would just be wasting your time. Since he is in Korea and your interactions are just one-way, you made a good decision.

Your friends are trying to protect your feelings when they say he is just afraid he will fall in love with you. Unless there is some specific obstacle you know – like policy in your school that students and teachers can’t be in a relationship (although now that he’s not in school that argument became moot) –  why would he be afraid of liking you?

Stick to your decision and don’t waste your time on this Korean guy. Maybe he will come around and contact you, but chances are very slim.

-Oegukeen

Leave your question in the comments below if you still don’t know if Korean guy likes you. :)

Also recommended:

How to tell if a Korean guy likes youHow to get a Korean guy to like you

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313 thoughts on “[Q&A] How to know if a Korean guy likes you?

  1. Hey! I’m an Indian. But I like Korean guys. That’s because of I learn Korean languages as much as possible and keep learning. Many people says that I look like a Chinese or Korean because my eyes are small than others. But problem is my height.My age is 16 but I’m still 4’7″. Can you tell me what should I do?😃

  2. Well, I had a very close korean friend, and we were friends(past tense coz i dont know if he still considers me a friend) for 2 years. Btw. I’m way older than him atleast 6 years. One day, I ask him about his crushes then he jokingly said that it was me. Being older than him doesn’t seems so right. When he confessed, I was so flattered knowing that I’m a kdrama lover of course. However, as times passed by, he said “i miss you’s” “i love you’s.” Then, I realized (coz of age gap) that I should not corrupt the mind of this little brother who seemed to be mistakenly thinking that he had a crush on me. With my instinct, I turned him down. After that, evrything changed, but it doesn’t seemed so right on my part for he was my friend and just because of a confession I suddenly lost him. I did my best to reach out for him, yet he seemed to change a lot after that. Question: what will I do to win him over again as a friend?

  3. Hi.. I’m from indonesia.
    i wanna ask you about something, cause i’m really confusing right now.

    I know a korean guy from app dating. he work in my city and had been live in here for 2 years.
    i met him for 2 months since i know him, and never contacted him again since i tell him feeling. he said he just feel comfort when he with me, but still not had feeling like i do feel about him.
    after that we never meet for 5 months.
    2 months ago we meet again 3 times. he act really good to me and taking care of me, that’s why i’m thinking maybe now he have same feeling for me.
    but after we met, that’s not like what i expected. he didn’t contact me and said he was busy and the last time i met him with his friends at coffee shop, and then i chat him to asked him to watched movie but he said he can’t, cause need to rest. and we never contact again for a couple weeks until now.

    what do you think ?
    does he just want to be friend or just used me ?
    what should i do ?

  4. I met this one korean guy in meeff and we started chatting in kakao. He was very mysterious. I called him oppa because he is way older than me. I started liking him because sometimes he sends me sweet messages and he calls me at night in my mobile. I was upset with him one night, and started to ignore his messages. When I woke up, I saw 2 missed calls and messages from him asking why I am not answering. I don’t even know if this guy likes me. But he doesn’t know that I like him. He’s sending me goodmorning messages and good night messages. And at times, he is telling me to not forget to take my lunch. Can you tell if this korean guy likes me? On a lighter note, we haven’t really met personally because the place he is working is very far from my place but he said he is going to prepare a plan so we can meet each other.

  5. I met one korean guy online, he was older than me. We did not yet meet but surprisingly, this guy is very bold. As what I have read from this forum, older korean guys tend to be more conservative. But this guy is not. I am not a korean. He was telling me that he likes me and he wanted to marry me after 3 years. I find it really funny. I was thinking it was just a joke but it is not. He was serious about it. The thing is I am not interested to date him or what. We can be just friends. But how can I tell him without offending him?

  6. Hello,
    I am in love with a Korean boy in my school. He might be 16. He is a one higher grade then me. He is kind of a shy person from what I saw. But he is a very friendly person and he is very beautiful.(lol)
    My friends already told him that I like him but I was not present there. I am worried he will forget about me.(I think he already did). He does not seem to be interested in me. I really want to be his friend to get to know him better before (you know). But you see, I am a veryyyyyyyy shy person. And my parents will kill me if I date someone and they don’t even like me with hanging out with boys that much. (I am a Muslim so….) I respect my religion and his. But I really do love him.
    It’s hard for me to talk to him. From what I heard from my friends that he does not have social media (maybe).
    Help me.

  7. Hi,
    My name is Zora.
    I’m dating a Korean guy that lives in Vermont, he is only 12 hours away from me so our distance is not far at all. We met online and we showed interest in each other. We have the same star sign (Aquarius) and the same style (Gothic/Emo) and finding a Korean guy that is Emo or Gothic is extremely rare unless they are famous! He calls me Honey and Sweetheart and stuff like that, and he is very caring. However, he says he doesn’t like feeling emotions which is a little confusing to me. Because of him saying this it makes me feel unsure about his feelings for me. I believe he does like me deep down inside but I’ve been fearful of rejection (this happens because of past relationships).
    He gave me his address,phone number,and birth date and wants me to visit him, but we are both in school.
    he is 26 and I am 18, but that’s no big deal in my mind. (He messaged me as I was typing this informing me that he was walking home now 10/24/2017 at 10:40 pm)
    anyways he is kind of mean sometimes but I find that normal (Mostly because of our star sign) but I think he may be struggling with depression,or he may be feeling negative emotions about something.
    Our conversations are never bad, but he has a habit of not responding for quite some time.
    In all honesty he did warn me about him responding late and he did say he would do it very very often. I do understand why this happens, he works and studies at the same time,and I do as well.
    He says that he doesn’t talk much,neither do I, but I always talk to him a lot. He also said that talking is annoying, and he once said that I talk a lot… so in my mind I thought I was annoying him and I apologized
    he then laughed and said, “Why are you apologizing?” I then told him, “I don’t mean to talk too much, and I don’t like annoying people, so I am apologizing for doing so.” he then say’s, “You’re not annoying me. You can talk to me if you want to.”
    He is very sarcastic too, but he doesn’t admit it (lol)
    He has asked me to marry him twice but I think he is being sarcastic about that too because we haven’t even met in person (he has said this as well.)
    I forgot to mention this but I am biracial (White/Cherokee/Japanese) << this doesn't matter.
    He calls me cute and sexy a lot but since he says he doesn't like feeling emotions I am confused about what he truly feels.
    Recently he found out that I was being bullied and he stood up for me and cussed the people out and told them that what they were doing is not funny and that our relationship is none of their business,and he cussed them out,which surprised me (He dropped the F bomb lol) he has cussed before but not like that XD
    Once again I do think that he likes me, I am just confused about him (the not feeling emotions thing.)
    any advice and tips would help :3
    thank you.

  8. Hello. I am a girl living in Spain and is Asian. I am in 9th grade and I have a hugeeee crush on a Korean guy in 10th grade. The problem I am the most shy person in the world. I also suffer from telling my friends some stuff but other than that I am really funny and easy going and friendly with everyone.

    He is not my friend (my crush) because it’s so hard to talk to him. When I see him from anywhere I freak out or run away. One of my friends went to him and told him I like him and to talk to me. He said okay but he went to bring his bag. I was waiting and went to look for him and couldn’t find him. (Probably he was looking for me too or forgot or didn’t want to IDK).

    I saw him in the library but he with his friends and I freaked out again and the bell rang so, I had to go to class. Friend said he didn’t seem to care that I like him because my friend said the way he replied about talking to me or not was very casual.

    He is seems to be a n ordinary and shy person. I just can’t seem to get over my timid-ness. I am liking him for almost 2 months now and he knows I like him but he never approaches me. I want to but it’s so hard. I do my makeup, try to look good, smell good and when I go to school and I see him I panic and run away and that’s my days keep on going away.

    I am just in love with him. I have his email as we get school emails from school and anyone can get anyone’s emails if you just search up their name. So, should I email him or would be too creepy? What should I do???? I really do like him.

    Help me please.

  9. I have a question. I’m talking with a korean guy.(only online) He seems to like me. He is interested in my culture, he will visit Romania (my country) the next summer and he wants to meet me. I will also go to Korea in 2019. He is trying to learn Romanian too.
    The problem is: I have a boyfriend (we have been dating for 3 years and 1 month), but our relationship is not the same as it used to be, so my feelings has changed. I like this korean guy.
    What should I answer the korean guy when he will ask me if I have a boyfriend??
    Please, I need an answer!

    • Hello! I am experiencing the same situation right now. There is one Korean guy I like and he likes me back. He already confessed his feelings for me. Just like you, I am also in a relationship (almost 4 years). This guy is asking me if he can meet my mom as soon as possible. My mom knows that I am going out with this guy even though I am in a relationship. Right now, I wanted to accept this guy and end my current relationship but it is so much harder than I thought. The Korean guy is not even asking me if I have a boyfriend or not. Luckily, he is not asking me. He already introduced me to his Korean friends and gladly, they liked me a lot. We are in a really difficult situation. Let me know what happen to you.

  10. I have a crush with korean guy who worked in korean store (In europe).I’m asian, but brown asian (do korean guy like brown girl?,his also have tanned skin tou). So I noticed him long a go, but is just like I like to see some handsome guy. I go to the store like once a month, until recently I feel that he also notices me. Our eyes is often meet (kind of I caught him looking at me, and he gazes away) and when I am there, he just suddenly appear around me (kind of stock in / checking some stuff). The thing is because I have crush on him, I can’t make the right judgement (it could be that I hope he notices me). I tried to come to the store more often (once a week at max.), and tried to smile to him, but either he always changes his gaze so quickly or I just not prepared when he is around. should I make a move? and how? do korean guy make a move when he likes some one? Do you have something to make me know if he likes me or I just have my hope up?

  11. I have been seeing a Korean guy since April 2017 he says “friends with benefits” is our status but things he says and does seems to contradict that. As we are expecting a baby in the fall now he plans on talking to his parents on his birthday on March 21 about me. Now I am extremely scared as I am older than he is, a divorcée with 2 kids (abusive marriage) so really don’t feel like getting pressured into anything more. How is he going to introduce me? I wasn’t looking to get into any relationship as my marriage was 21 years of abuse so am wary about that….he seems shocked but delighted that I will defend him and our baby at all costs even to his parents. He noticed that when I told him that my brother wants me to put the baby up for adoption which brought out the mama wild animal in me. He caresses my face, plays with my hair, tells me he loves me, calls me “hun” and “baby” neither one of us can keep our hands off each other when we are alone together. I have always been one to “respect my elders” and am always polite even to people who really don’t deserve it. He treats me so much different than my ex husband, heck so differently than any guy I have been with. I actually truly enjoy trying and doing different things with him that I never thought I would ever do. My daughter, my former coworkers and his coworkers say “nah there is no way you guys are friends with benefits. But beyond that. The way he looks at you is so sweet.” I just don’t know what his mindset is and the fact he hasn’t given me any ideas as to what exactly I am or even mean to him. When I have laid everything out on the table for him I don’t want to be hurt nor my kids. Any ideas as to what he seems to be keeping close to himself? Should I be worried or pleased he has waited this long before introducing us? His dad has been asking him questions but he keeps saying “don’t want to talk about it?” I don’t know how long ago that was but every so often I also take him home from work mind you I have an extremely expressive face and wear my heart on my sleeve they saw me drop him off once and I felt my face was so red from blushing so bad that I couldn’t look at them. Scared silly 😳😜 but I do love him more than I thought possible.

  12. My experience might be slightly more out of the norm (I’m not sure if it is a norm in Korea but I want to believe it is not).

    He is 42. I am 24. We are colleagues but he is from the Korea branch so we only get to see each other if he fly to my country for training or the other way round. The first time we met, he was really nice to me. I tried to keep my distance as we are not close but he always looked out for me and will ask me to join him during breaks and lunches. After the first training session, he offered to drive me to the nearest train station. I believe it was just a kind gesture. The next day, my boss had requested that i bring my colleague out for dinner before he fly back to Korea. However, he insisted to pay for dinner and brought me to a nice restaurant. However, after dinner I was feeling unwell. He got worried and asked me to lean onto him for support. I felt faint so I oblige. He hugged me close and started to caress my back. He massaged my shoulders and soon, he began to whisper in my ears, and kiss the side of my head. Even when I felt better, he had asked me to stay the night. After the incident, we began texting as he will be going back to Korea. He wanted me to call him Oppa too. He promised that he will arrange another training in my country so he will be back soon.

    I believe that we are just friends but something bothers me. He is married with kids and I have a boyfriend. Does he like me? Is he trying to have an affair with me? Or am I thinking too much?

  13. Hi~
    I’m from Finland, and one time there was this Korea themed camp in my city. I was interested in Korea since I was a fan of kpop, so I went to the camp with my friend (I’m not a koreaboo lol).
    Almost all of the “hosts” were korean.
    One of the hosts was handsome and cute in my opinion so I kind of just stared him without noticing haha. I also noticed that sometimes when I looked at him he was already looking at me.
    On the last day of the camp he suddenly came up to me and asked me what my name was and how old am I in broken english, and of course I answered.
    He then asked do I have instagram so I replied yes and showed him my account on my phone. So he took my phone and started following himself, and he noticed that I also have snapchat. He took my phone again and added himself on it. Then he just smiled and went back to where he cane from. Lmao I was fangirling so hard over that.

    Then at the end of the camp all of the people at the camp took a group picture and he came to stand next to me in the picture and put his hand on my shoulder.

    After the camp he sent like two pictures in Snapchat, we didn’t talk though.

    So, , does he like me? I personally don’t find me that good looking, and I wouldn’t think I’m pretty if I was a boy, but don’t all girls say that lmao?

    Also, I think he is like five years older than me, lives in South-Korea and doesn’t know english that well (well, conversation level?), so, you know.

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