[Q&A] How to know if a Korean guy likes you?

Having Korean boyfriend has given me a much better insight into Korean culture and customs. I know how to tell Korean age, I know why Korean chopsticks are made of metal, I know there is no such thing as “Sea of Japan”, How to tell if Korean guy likes you - East Sea vs Sea of JapanI know how to address Koreans of different age, I know to handle everything with both hands…

What I don’t know is how to read Korean men’s minds (a pity). I am a bit closer to it with Kimchi Man, but not much.

All the Korean men I have met have been very different and diverse. So has their attitude towards relationships. Some are going to tell you they love you even before they know the color of your eyes, others will not be vocal about their feelings even when they are ready to die for you.

For everyone who is wondering what is the secret to understanding a Korean man’s heart: There is none.

You don’t need to worry that they are sending some secret Korean signal which you are not picking up. Culture has a hard time influencing something as personal and fundamental as love.

How to know if Korean guy likes you - Oppa do you like me 오빠 나 좋아해?That being said, I completely understand what it is like falling in love and having no idea if object of your adoration feels the same way. I was there.  We all want to know for sure if we are happily in love or rushing towards heartbreak. That’s why I am going to do my best to help the two women who asked the questions bellow. I just want to make sure everyone understands I would be no more or less qualified to answer those questions even if I had never met a Korean guy in my life.

And if you know a Korean guy, a Korean guy you like, and you don’t know, if this Korean guy you like, likes you back – forget that he’s Korean.

That might just be the thing you need to truly see what he is trying to tell you.

You might also like:

How to know if a Korean guy likes you Does a Korean guy like me how to tell if a Korean guy is into me
Will a Korean guy be attracted to me? How does a Korean guy court girls? Will my Korean man marry me?

Anonymous asked:

I am in love with a Korean guy, we go to the same university and we met when we took the same class about a year ago. I am 19 and he is 21.

I always feel and act very shy, when I am around a person I really like. When there is no him, I am very funny, communicative and totally normal.

 I am not Korean (still Asian), and I don’t speak Korean.

The problem is that…He is not a shy one at all, at least he seems to be so. Sometimes when we meet at some university events, we talk, and he seems to like me as a girl, but we never text/chat after that. I mean, we talk only when we see each other. That’s why talking to him is a very rare occasion, because we meet rarely.

 The first time I saw him this year after a long period of time, was another university event, he sent an invitation to me on Facebook, which I don’t think was something special or anything, but I decided to go there still. On the day when he sent the invitation, our eyes met at a cafe, when I was walking past him, but I was with my girl friend and he was with a girl friend as well, so I thought: ”Alright, I haven’t seen you for ages, why say Hi then, you probably don’t even remember me”. He didn’t wave hi to me either. So yeah, then BOOM I got that invitation, and I decided to go. Cause I thought that accidental meeting had something to do with the invitation.

When I just got there, he came up first saying ”Ooh, it’s been a long time” and hugged me, which was a bit weird, because we are not that close friends at all, till that time, we probably had a talk for a couple of times, not more. I mean, I’m not that kind of friend of his, who he could miss. We were never close at all. But I think at the moment when he hugged me, I clearly understood that I liked him a lot. I knew I liked him before, but I thought it was not serious.

I met him the second time about a couple days ago at a university event as well. There were very few people there, but he took the time to come up to me and talk and I tried to act as normal and funny as I could, but I was burning inside and shaking and all that… in the end he said that he’d like to attend an event of mine (I’m the president of a student group) so I promised to send him an invitation.

Everything seems to be okay, but I don’t understand, why he is so passive, if he likes me. Does it mean, that he doesn’t like me as a girl, but just being friendly? He never sends me messages or anything like that… I am hesitating to message him, cause I’m afraid I would never get a reply…and I think that a guy must make the first moves. And if he doesn’t, then it means he’s not interested, in my opinion. I would understand, if he was a shy one, but… as i said before he’s not. He’s very friendly and communication is not a problem for him.

And the second problem is that I don’t know for sure if he has a girlfriend or not. However, the Facebook status says Single otherwise, the last thing I would want to do is ruin a relationship…

Also, I thought about the problem, that I am not Korean, and I thought about the possibility, that he is not interested in me as a girl, because I’m not Korean.

Also, I think it’s worth mentioning that he’s kind of Americanized Korean. He has been living in the USA for about 5 years I believe. But he almost always hangs out with Korean friends.

anyways..please heeeeeeelp

               I don’t think that the guy has to make the first move. Why would he? Maybe he is shy when it comes to asking girls out, maybe he is passive, maybe he sees you only as a friend, maybe he already has a girlfriend… You could go all day long guessing “maybes” if you don’t do something about it.

Even if he sees you just as a friend, making the first move might make him see you in a different light.

It’s never easy being rejected but Facebook and text messaging have certainly made it a lot easier than it used to be. You don’t need to pour your heart out to him, just ask him: “Do you want to go out for a coffee/movie/walk”. If he says yes, there is a very good chance he likes you as a girl :)

I have no idea if he has a girlfriend or if he is a national chauvinist. Since he is human, both are possible.  Koreans I know have no problem dating someone who is not Korean, and in my case not even Asian. Many questions we got on this site are from Asian non-Korean women who are dating a Korean man, so obviously not all Koreans have a problem with it.

And why wouldn’t you want to ruin his relationship? You are 19, and 21! It’s not like he is married with children and you are tearing apart a family. If you asking him out is enough to ruin his relationship then that relationship deserves to be ruined. I was in a relationship when I met Kimchi Man and I am much happier now. On the other hand, no matter who come to my doorstep now, no one can take me away from Kimchi Man.

You should know that if I didn’t make the first move, Kimchi Man would never dare do it himself (maybe not never but my guess is it would take him 10 years or so ^^). And he was very interested in me. If you keep thinking a girl shouldn’t make the first move, another one will come along who thinks differently and snatch this guy right under your nose.

Ching asked:

Hi…

I’m half Chinese half Filipino girl but my family and I moved to Phil for good when I was still young.. I am now 22 years old, and I met this Korean guy last year almost 9 months ago.. well, I just really feel so alone about this so I hope you can help me out.. here’s my story..

 9 months ago July 2011 to be exact I applied in a Korean school in our city, I was accepted and first week in school I had only 2 students and one of the two was the guy I fell in love with. At that time I was 21 and he’s 25 I think. At first I dont really feel anything for him, just the teacher-student relationship. I also noticed he was this shy type of guy, first 2 weeks with him he barely talked. But after about 4 weeks we just got close and I dunno how it happened. But after that he started teasing me everytime we see each other in the hallway, he’s calling me vampire and i’m calling him werewolf. A lot of teasing and all. And then one time during class he asked me who I like then I told him I like Lee Seung Gi [korean actor] then he repeated that question again and I answered him same answer I gave him before then after than he start acting like his heart is in pain [physically] at first I dunno what does that action means but my friend told me he might be hurt that it wasnt him that I like and so he started acting that in a joke way so it wont be obvious.. then he also asked if I do have a boyfriend that time and I said no and he told me that I must get a boyfriend, and I also mentioned to him that I have a curfew around 7pm and he told me that my boyfriend might want to be with me more than my curfew time.. what does that mean??

 and sometimes he’ll notice what I’m wearing like last time when I was wearing a coat and I just passed by him he really asked me isnt your coat thick? dont u feel hot? and one time when I had a new student and he’s kinda good looking and almost same age with me, he started asking questions like, So are you happy that the good looking new student is in your class?… who’s better me or him? – those kind of questions and I dunno why he’s asking me like that..

 and one of my friend in that school was also his tutor.. so whenever he’ll have class with that friend of mine he would usually asked her to call me and let me go inside their room while they’re having class and it happened many times, i was just there listening to their conversation and whenever I decided to move out the room he would usually stop me and say Vampire where are you going? just stay here.

 or sometimes when we meet each other in the hallway he would blocked my way and wont let me pass and he’d tell me Touch me first before I let you pass.. and you know this kind of actions he’s showing me made me fell for him I think.. fell harder that I dont even know how to get out of this situation..

 and during his birthday I gave him a not Happy Birthday Werewolf! and he took a picture of it and upload it in his fb..

 he also challenged me one time to play snake and ladder with him and he told me if he wins I wont give him assignments for 1 week and if i win he wont complain even if I give him assignments everyday.. its the first time that I have ever played that game and it was with him, so I treasure it a lot (:

 what do you think his actions mean?? does it mean something? does he like me?

 ah, a day after his birthday he informed all his tutors that he will be absent for the whole day because last night he got drunk and hangover the next morning.. so I was expecting that he’ll also be absent in my class but I was surprised when he entered my room that day.. so I asked him Why are u here? I thought you’d be absent the whole day and he said I was thinking that if I wont come here you’ll be alone here. I was so touched when he told me that but ofcourse I act as if its nothing… and then 1 week after that he was removed in my class and so I started to feel like I was left hanging, a lot of questions are running into my head.. my friends were telling me that he must be afraid that he’d fall for me and so on…

 what I did was I tried to talk to him again, initiate the conversation first but I can feel this change like it’s not the way it was back before.. we dont talk that much anymore unlike before when he was still in my class.. we passed by each other in the hallway without even saying hi.. I asked him he doesnt talked to me anymore, he said He was shy. I tried everything to gain back the friendship we once had the closeness we once had… but I think I falied or maybe I didnt try harder? I was asking myself What should I do? but later on I just stopped trying to talk to him just trying to accept that maybe it wasnt meant to be.. September that year we stopped talking, offcially. February this year he went back to korea without talking to me. He had my number. This march a friend of mine who is also his friend told me that he has a kakaotalk so why not try to add him. So I added him and again I have to initiate the talking.. we talked and he told me he misses me but overjoyed about his message i wasnt able to reply to him right away and then he sent me a message again saying he was just kidding with the ‘haha’ … what does that mean???! I hate him but still I believe he meant it when he told me he misses me.. what do u think? Now, I decided to just stop talking to him stop initiating just to talk to him cause its always me who texts first maybe he really doesnt care at all so why would I waste my time with him…

 please help me what to do is my decision right?

 I badly need your opinion guys.. I hope you can help me out with this..

 sorry I think I wrote too long, its just that if i skipped a few lines u might not be able to get my situation.. kinda a long story (:

 he’s still single until now and he told me before that he once had a girlfriend 4 years ago…

 hoping to get a reply from you soon ^^ thanks ~

I employed help from Kimchi Man on this one. He says guy obviously liked you before but something changed. You can’t know what changed and to obsess about it would just be wasting your time. Since he is in Korea and your interactions are just one-way, you made a good decision.

Your friends are trying to protect your feelings when they say he is just afraid he will fall in love with you. Unless there is some specific obstacle you know – like policy in your school that students and teachers can’t be in a relationship (although now that he’s not in school that argument became moot) –  why would he be afraid of liking you?

Stick to your decision and don’t waste your time on this Korean guy. Maybe he will come around and contact you, but chances are very slim.

-Oegukeen

Leave your question in the comments below if you still don’t know if Korean guy likes you. :)

Also recommended:

How to tell if a Korean guy likes youHow to get a Korean guy to like you

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281 thoughts on “[Q&A] How to know if a Korean guy likes you?

  1. “All the Korean men I have met have been very different and diverse.”
    “You don’t need to worry that they are sending some secret Korean signal which you are not picking up.”
    “And if you know a Korean guy, a Korean guy you like, and you don’t know, if this Korean guy you like, likes you back – forget that he’s Korean.”

    I came here expecting to be mad but this post was surprisingly not very racist or fetishistic? Thanks for spreading the message lol

  2. So, I met this Korean guy online. He recently moved to Canada a few months ago.

    We’re both teenagers, he’s 17, I’m 16. We met online (like I said) and we were just getting to know each other

    A few weeks later, he started to be playful and kept calling me “pabo”. We joked a lot.

    Thing is, it was always ME who texted him first. He only texted me on his own once. But all the rest, it was always me.

    He told me he liked talking to me, he asked if I wanted to call cuz he wondered what my voice sounds like.

    Then, the next day, he just left me on “read”.

    I waited a day and texted him “Where’d you go 😭” He didn’t reply for a few hours. He was online almost all the time. It didn’t say he read the message either, but you could still see a message and not open it so it won’t mark it “read’.

    I waited a few hours and said “sorry if I’m annoying you” & he replied a few minure later “affhh I didn’t see your text!!!!”

    ^^ Had no idea whether those exclamation points meant anger or like “oh I’m so sorry” type thing.

    We talked a little and then I just left him on read cuz I was getting this feeling that I was annoying him. His responses became a little lame and boring and he wasn’t being as outgoing as normal.

    We haven’t been talking for a week now and I’m so confused. It’s like he ditched me.

    I don’t wanna be the one to text him first again… that would just make me look desperate & needy, and I don’t wanna be like that.

    If he was actually interested, he would text me first, right? Especially since he’s Korean, Korean guys are usually very obvious about liking a girl.

    I don’t know what to do :(

    P.S. – ^^ I once talked to him about the person I like in real life. He told me “sometimes you need to be quiet. Talk to him, but sometimes you just need to act like you don’t care.” << is he doing this to me now? Acting like he doesn't care?

    P.P.S. – This is all online so I know nothing can ever happen between me and him but I'm just really curious.

    • You kinder have the same as mind.. I meet this one online. He use to text me online and now I’m texting him he straight away text me. Sometimes he’s busy.. At times I doubt but he told me not worry.. Wait patience and take things slowly. Tbh it hardit not easy. I told look I want to break up because it not working.. He said no do not leave me so I felt sorry for him and I decide okay if this what he want I do it. I miss him if I don’t hear from him in the weekend.. Say Saturday and Sunday.. Girl don’t give up he’s there somewhere. He would want you to text him and give him the cuties laugh and smile etc and the mood your in. They respect a lot if they are busy there busy who knows.. But never give up on hope. If he want one thing give it to him to see where is it going.

  3. Hello

    Well, I like this Korean guy a lot and my friwnds have told me that the probably likes me back. His friends and people around us have also asked if we are dating because of what they see, but I dont know if I should tell him I like him.

    There are things he does that seem pretty obvious, but I also think I might be misunderstanding him. Lately, we have been having breakfast together on weekdays and, even though he knows my friends, he usually sits beside me. He also has dinner with us, recently, everyday.

    My friends say, and I’ve noticed, that he stares at me quite frequently. If I have something on my face or hair, he never tells me but he himself takes it off of me. He also likes to, like, stroke my hair. When we are walking, he puts his hand on my head or on my shoulder.

    He also tells me that I am cute and that he likes my big eyes quite frequently. He once told me I was more beautoful than the flowers he took me some pictures with.

    When we are together alone, just the two of us, he keeps me close to him. Like, he puts his arm around my shoulders and once he told me that he would protect me.

    I’ve told him that I dont mind all the things he does that seem affectionate to me. But I dont think that if I said that to any Korean guy he would do it just because he can. He still has his own culture. Besides, he does not do any of these to his other friend girls.

    The only thing I would complain about him is that he doesnt verbally say that he likes me, if he does. It might seem dumb, but I need that he says it explicitly

    We are both short term international students. I am from Latinamerica. I am leaving in three weeks and he leaves in May. I would like to know if I should tell I like him before I leave or just dont tell him.

    What do you think? Sorry for the long post.

  4. Hi! I love your blog! I just need some help too!😭😭 I met this korean guy in our exchange program wherein they stayed here in the Philippines for 2 weeks. I really like him but i didnt have the chance to talk to him often here.. when he got back to korea i keep in touch with him… it was a week ago when they go back to korea… and we always talk everyday.. morning until evening.. i even confessed that i have a crush on him… because i want to be honest.. i know that he has a girlfriend and they are 4 years already in a relationship… i understand that.. i dont want to ruin their relationship.. but what confuses me is… he is still keeping in touch with me even though he knows that i have a crush on him… and whenever i want too ask with his gf it seems like he is changing the topic oor not really answering my questions… i also said that i dont want his girlfriend to get jealous like that.. so im really confused what to do.. im okay with our friendship right now.. but it just really confuses me. Please help me!😭😭 Notify me thru email pls.

  5. while in korea on vacation, “met” a korean guy on a chinese dating app. he messaged me good morning, and told me to wear warm clothes outside, totally adorable. then i went back to the US for vacation and he still messaged me little things despite the time difference. we’re both back in china now, i’m working at a school (i’m white, 28), he’s a student (about 23 years old) and now the lapses in communication are waay worse. we’re an hour away from each other and he’ll go hours, or a whole day without answering a simple question like “do you have plans this weekend?” i don’t know what happened. he used to say he was excited to meet and now that we actually can, it’s a lot of silence. should i just stop wasting my time?

  6. So i met this korean guy at a university. And honestly, I do not know what to say. He is cold and anti social. It took me quite a bit of time to break the walls surrounding him and before I knew it, we were besties. Few months later, I realised that I like him. I told him and he was unprepared. He didnt expect that from me. Still, he said to lets try to be more than best friends and see where it goes from there.

    However, a month later, and it turns out we had to stop because he said he doesnt love me and he needs love to start a relationship. I cried. But he comforted me stating to continue our friendship the way it was, and who knows, in the future it can happen.He even asked me where I was so he can come meet me instead of talking it out over a call. What I am confused about is how can a guy be so casual like this? He wants me to continue being that way with him, but I am scared to get hurt again when in the end he doesnt love me. Does he like me more than a best friend and a girlfriend? Is there something stopping him?

    We text a lot. And I do call him from time to time. But its always me who initiates it. There are only a few rare times where he text first. Even then, he says, he doesnt mean anything in his texts, like he prefers face to face. we do talk a lot when we meet in school. I do not know how to proceed. Should i continue with whats going on between us and hope that he likes me back to start a relationship? Or should I not waste my time and just go back to being friends with him?

    • Well, I like a guy who has a gf. I told him I liked him. He doesn’t like me back obviously, but he really does want to stay my friend. For you, I would suggest thinking it through. Do you only want to stay friends with him because you hope for a relationship in the future, or because you genuinely wanna be friends with him? I would recommend for you to just keep being friends with this guy. I know it’s hurtful, and it’s understandable that you want him to like you back, but it may never happen. But I do wish you the best of luck, and I hope you guys do end up dating :)

  7. Hi , i really like a korean guy, we met on the internet and are quite close , lately he has been very sad because of the korean SATS he is going to be taking and i tell him to never give up and comfort him, he said he likes me and that he wants to be my friend in real life , i know how he looks like we video called before . but i dont know how to be cute and less shy towards him , i think he likes me but im not sure :(

  8. Hi, I’m a Filipino . It was my first time to have a Korean classmates and friends. They were Christian . It was actually a Christian school. Actually I dint plane to go to this school my family put me in this school so I could Chang my bad habits. I saw this guy his older than me , 2 years gap . His sister was actually my classmate she’s so pretty. He was smart,tall,a good sport,gentlemen,kind,talented(good in playing guitar and piano),he was the first Korean guy that I have notice in our school.

    Everyday I see him at school . He looks so kind and he loves children . One time there was an event in our school(BUWAN NG WIKA) so my teacher chose me go be the singer for our presentation and actually he was the guitarist . At first I felt so shy when everyone was gathered in our chapel area. Then our teacher asks us (the Band for the presentation) to go to the computer lab and so we went . He didn’t know me so My classmate introduced me to him and to the other Korean people who actually doesn’t know me . So we were practicing and that time I asked him to make the tune of the guitar higher and he made fun out of me . And there it started .

    When he knew my name and some info about me . Every morning when he sees me he keeps on saying hi . So I will respond hello 😏 . Then the event in our school started so I was so nervous he knew that I was so nervous but he said “don’t worry I know you can do it” with a smiley face. After that some of his friends were teasing him that Im his girlfriend or something like that he likes me . He was smiling while they were teasing him. So when we started to present ,while our presentation was on going he saw that Im really dying with embarrassment he gave me a sign that I can do it . So the days went by and he always finds a way to say hi .

    One day his friends was in the front area and its time for me to go home then I said bye to his friends saying it to them one bye one with their names then one of his friends actually said “bye Ji woo” and so I got curious and he keeps on teasing me using his name.

    I actually heard that his a shy guy when it comes to girls or ladies. I tried to add him in my facebook. So he accepted it . I tried doing the first move but I always end up with a very not related about us. But he will always say hi .

    He’s a gentlemen . I never asked him to do things for me but his always there to help me. And when I always commit mistakes he and I always say sorry he will say its okay and he will always give me a very bright smile.

    One of his classmates was my friend she was also a Filipino.it was my birthday that time . When he saw in facebook that it was my birthday and I was really sick that time . But he asked my friend if its really my birthday . My friend said that he was surprised and said “sayang!”(sayang is like you didn’t get a chance) so she told me what happened . I was surprised when he sang a HAPPY BIRTHDAY song for me like many times on that day . I was so happy like really happy . And I realized I have a crush on him .

    Something changed when there was a Korean guy who likes me he is one of my classmates. When this guy and I got closer something changed between me and Ji woo. So I want to know does he like me?

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