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433 responses to “Ask us 2012 Archives”
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hi ^^ i met this korean guy while he was an exchange student at my university. we are different religion. im muslim and he atheist. now he already go back to his country because he need to finish his study. before he go back, he promise me that he will come again to my country after he finish. we both really like each other.
now its already 5 months and we still contact each other everyday. but sometimes when we message, he will ignore me for couple of hours and the reason he always gave me are he’s falling asleep or he was so busy. but i think if he really busy or sleepy, he could just tell me. so, i will not wait for his message like a stupid :[ i always feel insecure because his juniors (girl) really close to him. always together and they kinda close on fb too.. im scared that he will leave me..but he keep saying that he like me so much, he only like me and he really miss me a lot. he plan to visit me this january. but still……
what do u think, did he really like me or he just say that so that i will not suspect anything if he cheating on me? did korean always say “i like u” instead of “i love u” to the girl he really likes??
thanks..
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“Like” and “love” have the same meaning in Korean as in English.
Sometimes Kimchi Man goes to sleep without texting me and I worry where he is, while I have never gone to sleep without letting him know. People are different, so it is impossible to know if he’s just more secluded person or if his feelings are not what he says. Try looking at his behavior in other situations for clues.
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Hi. I’m an African-Canadian girl, and this past summer I made friends with four Koreans (3 guys and 1girl) who came for working holiday. The first one I met was very outgoing, and sweet that I kinda fell for him. The second guy was also sweet, but not as “crazy” lol as the first one, and the third one, really really quiet (at least with me).
So at the beginning it was always me and the first one, (let’s call the guys A, B and C ^^.), and B and the Korean girl were happy and teased me and A with phrases that seemed like hints that we were good together. We clicked, he flatteries worked lol, and I actually saw us dating.
But to my disappointment, that didn’t happen. He ended up with an Asian girl, which really got me hurt, but it being the third time I got disappointed by an asian guy, I just had to move on. The first time was with this Chinese guy whom I really liked, but I didn’t think he liked me too because he always acted so cool around me. But then, my friend kept telling me a guy-friend of hers kept telling her how much he like me, but made her swear never to tell me. Well, guess what?? After he finally moved out of town, I found out it had been him all along. Imagine my anger, more towards my friend, who I think knew I like him.So, back to the present with A. Funny thing is, even though we are not together, he still really treasures our friendship, and nothing has changed or gotten awkward.
Of course, since he has a girlfriend now, I had to be careful and respect her by not demanding to hangout with much or alone, so I started hanging out with B more often, and I met C through him again. It took him a while to open up, but a game of laser tag did that, and he opened up a tiny wee bit.
We didn’t see each other again after that, and soon B had to go back to Korea, which made me very sad because we had become really good friends. Unlike A, he always replied my texts, and we had a lot in common personality-wise.
So contact with A stopped for some time, and then he invited me for breakfast at the coffee place where C worked. So we did some catching up, and then we all went to A’s place for lunch. That was where me and C really started talking, and after that I got his number for A, and invited him to an open mic. After that, we hung out several times again (me and C), and right now I wish I knew what I’m feeling. Because I’ve been disappointed before, so i feel like that’s made me somewhat tough on the inside and very protective of my feelings. I’m pretty sure you can tell from what I’ve written that I’m a little confused, but I’m hoping you can see something in the whole story that I can’t see.
Is there really this phobia of dating other races? Or do they normally act cool around girls they like? I am the one who suggests to hang out, but he enjoys spending time with me, so I’d like to know if it could be that he’s too shy or scared to ask me out for a coffee or something.
Would you advise me to just to direct, and ask him what he thinks of our time together?
Thank you!
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I don’t see how being a friend with guy A would be disrespectful to his girlfriend, but I digress.
Of course there is no way I can know what you are feeling better than you. But if you did have phobia of dating other races that would be racist. You mentioned this is the third time you have been disappointed by an Asian guy. Do you really think their skin shade and eye shape are somehow making them into heart-breakers?
It’s normal that you are scared of being hurt again, and that you are looking for a pattern so you can avoid it in the future. But please look for it beyond the surface.
Guys can be just as emotional and gentle as women, so of course it is possible C is too shy to make the first move. I made all the first moves with my boyfriend. Maybe give yourself some time to figure out if you really like him or if you are just looking for a replacement for guy A. I hope it all turns out well and you get what you want.
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Thanks for your advice! Why I mention the whole race difference issue is because I know how conservative parents are when it comes to dating other races, and the parents mostly end up having their way, which is sad but often the case. So I’m very conscious of that fact, which I suppose makes me very protective and cautious when approaching a guy.
But like you said, I’ll give it some time and sort my feelings out before taking any major steps in our relationship.Thank you so much, and keep your fingers crossed for me!
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I understand what you mean. But I somehow feel that when love is strong enough, parents don’t have that much power at all. Parents do seem like a good excuse when trying not to hurt someone’s feelings too much, though.
We’ll both keep our fingers crossed. :)
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Thank you so much. I’m not so worried anymore. I’ll forget the skin colour and not use that to make any presumptions about whether or not a guy might like me :)
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Okaaaay, I apologise in advance if anybody finds this a bit over-personal. But I’ve been dating my Korean boyfriend for about 2 months, and we are kind of disagreeing over things in the bedroom. He refuses to go down on me. I was really patient but then decided to ask him the problem and he says hes never experienced it before and Korean girls don’t want it. Is this true? So anyway, I assumed that he was just nervous as hes never done it before so waited for a few weeks again. Again, got bored of waiting and asked him and he says ‘it’s unnecessary’ and he ‘won’t like it’. But hes never tried it! And its started to upset me because it makes me feel like hes rejecting me. He has no problem accepting oral sex (which I am now withholding, ha) but seems to find it really strange that I want him to do it in return? Is this a cultural thing? or is he just being a dick?
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You can find an answer to your question here http://lovingkorean.tumblr.com/post/36657204210/q-a-problems-in-the-bedroom-with-korean-boyfriend
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Hi, I am going to visit korea soon on december and actually planning to buy a korean phrasebook to learn some korean vocab…i do know how to learn the hangul hut just that i all i know anyway…so do you know any brand of korean phrasebook which is useful? Like I m planning to buy the korean at a glance phrasebook+dictionary. So hope you can suggest me the most useful brand asap!:) thanks
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I only have one phrasebook which I got with a textbook. It’s described in our post How to learn Korean https://lovingkorean.wordpress.com/2012/10/12/how-to-learn-korean/
I’m sorry but I haven’t tried any other phrasebooks. I suggest you either search on the Amazon – they all have plenty reviews, or ask one of the Korean language bloggers.
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Hi I Have Just recently i have gotten into a relationship with a Korean man. I’m from Australia and i want to learn more about his culture as i am a big fan of k pop music. i really like him and because he has only been in Australia for not that long the language barrier is fairly hard. so it is hard to communicate with him. when we see each other we work things out and learn off each other which is always so so good. so i was just wondering if you had any advice on having a boyfriend from another culture as i am also so young as well and as this is probably one of my first serious relationships. thanks :)
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Hi, thank you for your question. We will reply soon.
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i am going crazy about this guy.. i just want to know if he likes me or not..we met online thru a game.. i just randomly tried talking to someone.. it was him.. then a few weeks after i had an impromptu trip to korea.. he was always busy with work.. but we talked thru kakao talk even for a short time per day.. but there are also days that we dont talk.. he is like 30years old and im 25.. he thinks that is a young age.. then for my 2nd to the last night we talked about having no time to meet.. maybe it is fate.. but then on my last day.. he agreed to meet me.. and said he also wanted to.. i dont speak korean so i told him my friends are with me so they can help us talk.. so we met.. we were so shocked when he paid for our games even though i had a lot of friends with me.. we were a group of 7-8 people.. we tried to pay him but he said its ok and gave me back the money.. i tried to force the money to him but he was really persistent.. so we went to catch the last train just the 2 of us.. awkward silence because he cant speak english and i cant really speak korean.. he tried hard to translate to english and texted for me to read “take care on your trip” which i was happy about but didnt show it to him.. and we promised to learn each others language.. he even texted me when i was on my way to the airport that he was on his way to work.. and i said i will see him soon.. because im coming back in a few months. first 2 days was great he texts good morning in english.. and i find it really cute.. then after that he stopped.. i texted him and said how was your day and he replied after a day which i understand because he went to the province.. but i coldy replied to him.. did that push him away?
my pride was so high because im used to be the one being chased by guys but this was different for me.. i told him with ” “oppa”i wanted to see him.. “oppa i want to see you or i miss you” and he said when you come back we’ll meet again.. then i had surgery and told him about it but we had a misunderstanding.. we didnt talk for a few days.. but he always visits our game and does favors for me.. gives me wings for dragon flight. then i tried to text him and he immediately replied… but suddenly disappeared again.. he said he was always busy.. so what should i do? should i stop or continue to show him my feelings
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Only you can decide what to do.
He did seem to be interested in you. It is possible that you discouraged him with your cold behavior. Most people are shy and sensitive (that includes men too) and they don’t want to make themselves vulnerable. Maybe you didn’t discourage him and he is just finding it too difficult to communicate in English.
Either way, if you are not feeling ready to give up, why not try for a while longer, to make sure?
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thank you.. ^^ but i am trying really hard to learn korean language.. i hope he notices that
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Best wishes with your Korean studies. :)
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but also.. i am the one who always starts a conversation.. he doesn’t start it.. that is wh i’m a bit discouraged to continue.. it’s like i need to get his attention..
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I think even after two years of our relationship Kimchi Man still hasn’t ever started a conversation. ^^ But he is really really quiet guy and he’s like that with everyone. If the guy you like is only having difficulty starting conversations with you, that might be a sign he is not interested.
It all depends whether you think it’s worth it or not, cause always being the one starting conversations can be quite taxing.
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