[Q&A] Do Korean men like older women?

Published by

oegukeen

May 6, 2012

Why do Korean guys like noonas? Or do they maybe prefer to be oppas? Are large age differences between a couple judged in Korean culture?

Anonymous asked:

First of all I wanted to thank you for the great site and the time you take for answering our questions. I have a general question. Do Koreans prefer older or younger women? Until now I read several times that many would not mind to date an older, more mature woman. I’ve even encountered couples with up to 10 (+) years age difference (usually the man was older). You should know that in m country (also in my family) women with older men are quickly “stamped”. Thank you in advance!
Greetings from Germany

You are very welcome. We love answering your questions so keep them coming.

Korea is similar to most other countries. Bigger age difference (maybe more than 15 or 20 years) is frowned upon and the motives for such relationship are questioned. However, smaller age difference is readily accepted. Kimchi Man says his Korean friend (ok, all his friends are Korean) is dating a woman who is 5 year older and calls her, as is usual in Korea, noona. Until he read this question he never even though about it, and his other friends have never mentioned it either. It is normal and usual for them.

As everywhere else, it is more common for the man to be older, and you may have heard many Korean men enjoy being called oppa, which would be impossible if the woman was older. However, in the last few years Korea has been swept by “liking older women” syndrome, and oppas got replaced by noonas (also: nuna). The culprit for this, according to Wikipedia, is a singer and actor Lee Seung Gi (Korean: 이승기) and his song Because You’re My Woman.

Lee Seung Gi – Because You’re My Woman

Then there is also SHINee with their song Replay (Korean: 누난 너무 예뻐, lit. Noona You’re So Pretty)

Kimchi Man thinks the culprit is not K-pop, but rather different social dynamics, like the fact that for many guys dating older Korean woman is much more financially comfortable.

– Oegukeen

Edit (18th of October 2012): 15% of Korean brides are older than their grooms.

Are you a noona (also spelled nuna) or do you have an oppa? What are your experiences about age differences in Korean dating culture?

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33 responses to “[Q&A] Do Korean men like older women?”

Anonymous

January 1, 2013

My mother (19) married my dad (43), both are Korean and in Korea this is very rare. I guess she was embarrassed when younger but now she older, mature and thick skinned and does not care what others say. They are happily married now for more that 35 years.

Reply
1. oegukeen
  
  January 1, 2013
  
  That is such an inspiring story. Thank you for letting us know.
  
  When we are young we let other people’s opinions affect us too much. Your mother showed a good example of how to find happiness. :)
  
  Reply
2. Anonymous
  
  January 3, 2013
  
  It would seem that love conquers all! While it’s a long shot that my crush will ever materialize to anything more, your parents’ story is encouraging and gives me hope.
  
  Reply
Anonymous

December 20, 2012

Would you explain what you mean by the “motives” of a relationship where there is an age difference upwards of 15 years? I’m an African American woman with a HUGE crush on a South Korean man 21 years my junior (he’s unaware). I’ve never been in this position before, feeling like this. I’m confident that our differences in race, culture, language can be successfully addressed but is the difference in age insurmountable? Do I need to find a way to let go of my hope and dreams?

Reply
1. oegukeen
  
  December 20, 2012
  
  People tend to question the motives of two people in a relationship where age difference is substantial. Is it because of money? Is it some fetish? Etc.
  
  It is not unheard of in Korea to have such age difference, but it is very rare. Of course, it matters a lot how old he is.
  
  Reply
Anonymous

October 30, 2012

What would be a 10 year diffrent?

Reply
1. oegukeen
  
  October 30, 2012
  
  I’m sorry, I don’t understand your question.
  If you are asking what would Korean men think about 10 year difference, that is already answered in the post above.
  
  Reply
Anonymous

May 8, 2012

My husband is a year younger than me. My mother-in-law said it was a trend for younger men to marry older women. Ha.

Reply
1. oegukeen
  
  October 15, 2012
  
  One year difference shouldn’t bother anyone in any country, don’t you think?
  
  Reply
  1. Soyombo Adejoke
    
    December 20, 2015
    
    it does, I can’t date a guy or marry someone who am a second older than
    
    Reply
[Q&A] Am I in a relationship with this Korean man? « Loving Korean

May 7, 2012

[…] what you say you two seem like a good match. I seriously doubt the age difference of 6 years matters unless someone is […]

Reply
chrissantosra

May 6, 2012

It’s becoming more common among Korean men here in SK to have a relationship or marry an older Korean woman. Some of my husband’s friends’ wives are a year or two years older. As long as the age gap is not that BIG, it’s not a great deal here; however, if the age gap is more than five years, couples who are in that relationship hide their age difference from family and friends. In short, they lie about the woman’s real age. I know a couple who does.

Reply
1. oegukeen
  
  October 15, 2012
  
  It’s unfortunate that they have to do that.
  
  Reply

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