Am I in a relationship with this Korean man? Is this Korean guy my boyfriend or not? That’s what our next reader is wondering:

Lizzy B. asked:

I met a Korean man online about two months ago. We wrote a few times using email and before long we had exchanged phone numbers and were writing from the time we woke up until the time we fell asleep. Soon after, we meet in person and became good friends although we both brought people with us to the first meeting so we had little chance to talk about anything personal.

The next time we met was alone and ended up talking for 7 hours! After that, he started calling multiples times a day for quick 5 minute chats to check on me and texting in between. When we are out, he takes tons of photos of us together and candid shots of me when I am not looking. He also gets very protective, carries everything, insists on paying and walks/sits very close so we are always touch in some way. I have all his passwords and usernames that he volunteered (as an American, I know married couples that don’t know that about each other!).

He says I am too cute when I mess up my Korean sayings and grins like crazy when I call him obba. He makes sure when we are with friends I stay by him and pay more attention to him than anyone else… He even is going to introduce me to his family, though I have not mentioned it. The fact I am home minded and know my way around a household like a pro is something he constantly mentions as “so cool” and says I am the perfect feminine woman.

To me, this all seems like signs he likes me but he hasn’t said anything about a relationship. Am I supposed to just assume I am in a relationship with this Korean man?

He mentions that it is very hard for him to express his feelings and that it takes time before he can say anything aloud… Also, could he be a little anxious about the age difference? He is 6 years my senior though he says we are on the perfect maturity level… One last question, any advice on how to behave toward Korean man that might be different than American? I always let him take the lead and just try to follow but at the same time provide enough challenge he doesn’t get bored.

From what you say you two seem like a good match. I seriously doubt the age difference of 6 years matters, of course unless someone is underage.

You are already in some sort of a relationship but you obviously want it to be more serious and official.

It is just as difficult for men as it is for women to make themselves vulnerable and subject to mockery by admitting openly how they feel. It’s not easy to risk and take the chance but one of you is going to have to do it. You can figure out who is more outgoing and open with their feelings and let that person take the first step.

I didn’t know where I’m standing with Kimchi Man even after he told me he loves me, so I just asked him: “Why aren’t you asking me to be your girlfriend.” And viola! We were officially a couple ^^

I have no idea if Korean men are different than American men because I never met an American man in my life. My guess is, they are not. I hope you are letting him take the lead because that’s what he and you want, not because you think that’s what Korean men want.

– Oegukeen

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