[Q&A] Oppa removed me from Facebook. Help!

Facebook Korean OppaIzumee asked:

Hi Oegukeen.. Its very nice to read your blog and advice here, so I think its okay to share my story with a Korean guy to you so maybe you can help me to solve my problem.

I am Chinese girl, born and stay at Indonesia. 21 y.o.
I just visited South Korea last week and I love that country so much.

At Korea, I met a guy. He is 26 y.o. I am not a person that can fall in love at first sight. So at the first time we just meet at the place I stayed (he works there) and nothing happen between us on the first day. At the second day, I had nothing to do so I just sit near the front desk; play with my phone and then we started a conversation.
He told me about anything interesting in Korea and about the army service (he just finished his army service).He helped me to search anything I want to know about Korea, and he also asked about my life and others. And I started to like him. He is tall, tough yet cute, smart, and can speak English very well. Then I asked him if I can call him “oppa” and he said yes. I’m so happy because it is the first time I can call “oppa” to someone. We already become friend on Facebook and we also took picture together.
His friend knew that I like him and always tease me. But I never had courage to tell him about my feeling since I just know him for 3 days and I am a shy person.
At the last day, I even didn’t have courage to chat with him because every time I look at him, my face turns red and he also didn’t ask me first. So we just chat for a while.

When I almost went to the airport for going back to Indonesia, I push my courage and said ” bogoshipeulkoyeyo” means “I’m gonna miss you” to him, and he replied ” I’m gonna miss you too” . It makes me very happy although this is our farewell and he never know my feeling.

After I came back, the day after, I just check my Facebook and what a surprise that he REMOVED me from friend list at Facebook! It makes me shocked because I didn’t send him anything, just tagging the photo on Facebook. Is he mad with me? But I didn’t do anything wrong to him, I even didn’t send anything to him. And it makes me sad and confuse until now. Should I forget him, or just send him a message to ask why?

If you can give me advice, I will be very happy. Thanks before. God bless :)

We are really glad you like our blog.

If I understood correctly, you’ve known him for 3 days, and only talked to him for one of those. He seems to be polite and friendly. Also, he took your relationship for what it is – a 3 day acquaintanceship. You should do the same.

There is no etiquette rule in Korea against tagging people in Facebook photos. Just ask him, you’ve known him for too short to have anything to lose.

– Oegukeen

6 thoughts on “[Q&A] Oppa removed me from Facebook. Help!

  1. Good clear answer Oegukeen.:)

    I have noticed this type of situation more and more and I’ve been asked for advice a few times too. I think some people jump too quickly to the conclusion that because they have met a Korean guy that it must be the start of love! I think Korean dramas influence this thinking. In reality the Korean guy is probably thinking something like, “Well she was nice, but we are unlikely to see each other again.” Cultural differences seem to affect it too. Some girls are from countries that are much more rigid about dating- and dating in their country means there is the intent of marriage, so then they become confused when the Korean guy they feel like they are in love with, backs away completely. But I can understand the guy’s perspective.

    • Thank you!

      After knowing her for just a few days he is probably thinking, as you put it very nicely: “Well she was nice, but we are unlikely to see each other again.”

      I saw a YouTube video recently where a foreign man in Korea was complaining that Korean girls start talking about marriage too early in a relationship. That seemed strange to me, especially when taken into consideration the average age a person in Korea gets married. I’m glad to see you agree with me, that Koreans have no problem with casual dating.

Comment (you DON'T need to fill in e-mail address)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.