Dating outside your race unavoidably brings about stereotypes and prejudices. Unusual thing about dating Korean men is that it brings two sets of stereotypes that are completely opposing and mutually exclusive. I must admit that there is rarely a thing that can throw me off balance as much as prejudices. But this conflict of stereotypes about Korean men is so ironic it does nothing more than bring a smile of contempt to my face.
On one hand, there is the stereotype of Asian man as a little emasculated guy that no woman in her right mind could find attractive. On the other hand, droves of screaming Hallyu fans bring about the prejudice that if you are dating a Korean guy it must be because of the twisted perception of a perfect Korean guy painted in dramas.
So, I have a choice between being an asexual woman who only cares about guy’s personality or a crazed fan that doesn’t care about guy’s personality at all, as long as he is Korean? I would like to put those two groups of people in the same room so they can have a talk.
Let me pause here and say that there is nothing wrong with falling for a guy because of fantasy you have, whether it comes from Korean drama, K-pop or somewhere else. Is it in any way less shallow to say you like tall guys, or blue-eyed guys, than to say you like Korean guys? Enter a room full of people and you will instantly be attracted to some while others won’t even register on your radar. Who is so self-aware to know exactly why they are attracted to someone?
However, I am glad that in my case I have never even heard of K-pop or Korean drama before I met Kimchi Man, just so I can rub it in the face of anyone who dares confront me with those prejudices.
I must admit that in my life, those prejudices come from online world. Offline I still haven’t encountered anyone who told me something like that. I don’t know if that is because they are not aware of the stereotypes, or just don’t dare say it to my face. I live in an almost exclusively white European country where other races are a rare treat. No one I know has heard of K-pop. No one heard the “Asians are bad drivers” stereotype (and I intend to keep it that way as long as my father is letting Kimchi Man drive his new car ^^). Not that I think Europe is less racist than America, it’s probably just more covert when races are not living side by side.
So why did I choose a Korean man? Only thing I knew about Korea when we met is that they have efficient car factories, because my geography teacher had mentioned that incessantly. Who knows, maybe that’s why I was attracted to a Korean man? ;) All I know is that it doesn’t matter why you are initially attracted to someone, what matters is the relationship it blossoms into. And that should only matter to the couple in the relationship. It certainly shouldn’t matter to random strangers.
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