[Q&A] Korean men do not think foreign women are attracted to them?

Published by

oegukeen

December 28, 2012

[Q&A] Korean men do not think foreign women are attracted to them?

We are going to assume: are foreigners attracted to Korean men = are western women attracted to Korean men in the following question. If you were wondering about something else, please leave your question in the comments bellow. This question was submitted on our post Dating Korean guy – the clash of prejudices.

Anonymous asked:

Is it true that Korean men do not think foreigners are attracted to them?

To have any idea what Korean men really think we need to conduct a research survey with large enough sample size. Now we’ll come down to earth and offer you what we can: our opinions.

Kimchi Man says simply: yes. Korean man – Western woman couples are so rare that Korean men assume we don’t find them attractive.

Only experience with foreign women he had before he met me was while he was doing his Korean military service. He came across soldiers serving in American army and he says they were… less than interested in Korean men, to put it politely.

My experience with Kimchi Man also says yes to this question. He was (pleasantly I hope) surprised when I showed romantic interest in him. He took my advances in a stride, however, his opinion never having any impact on the development of our relationship. He explains that he simply assumed I am the kind of person who cares far more about man’s personality than his looks. While I’m going to use this chance to boastfully say that yes, I had been in a relationship not caring about the looks,this is not the case with Kimchi Man. He is exceptionally handsome and the fact he doesn’t seem to know it makes him all the more attractive.

Remembering clearly Kimchi Man’s friend joking about visiting France after he heard what a success K-pop concert was there, I asked if the rise of K-pop and the whole Hallyu wave might have changed Korean guys’ perception a bit. Kimchi Man’s answer: “The chances went from impossible to highly unlikely.” LOL.

Keep in mind though, that Kimchi Man is the most modest person I have ever met. Other Korean guys may be more confident.

Here is what one of our readers has to say about the subject:

Sim says:

The first time I met my Korean boyfriend (before we were dating) he actually stated he was surprised that I agreed to meet him and how most white woman weren’t attracted to Asian man. I disagree with the statement, but all of my family back home in Canada sadly fall more under that stereotype.

-Oegukeen

What was your experience? Do Korean guys think foreign women find them attractive?

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40 responses to “[Q&A] Korean men do not think foreign women are attracted to them?”

ouma

June 10, 2013

hi i love your article if you don’t mid i have a question. i’ve just read an article saying that koreans hate foreigners and they might violence toward them.IS THAT TRUE? thank you

Reply
1. oegukeen
  
  November 1, 2013
  
  Not true, of course.
  
  Well, there are all kinds of Koreans, some are of course xenophobic. But I’m not sure what you mean about being violent towards them? Just attacking them on the street out of a blue? I never heard of that.
  
  Reply
United Korean

May 27, 2013

As a Korean male in mid thirties living in Australia since moving here from Korea at the age of fourteen, I can tell you a lot of things about Korean men and what we like and want. One of my first girlfriends in high school was a white blond girl and we loved each other dearly. I loved her blue eyes and blond hair and she loved my jet black hair with dark brown eyes. I love pretty white girls. All my Korean friends do. But I love any girl that is pretty regardless of race. The probelm is that in Korean culture, we are not supposed to marry non-Koreans. Whether it is Chinese or Japanese, it does not matter. A Korean is supposed to marry a Korean only. This is especially so for men, but not so much for girls. For example, my sister almost married a Jewish guy and is now married to a non Korean man. My parents have no issue with that. But with me, I must marry a Korean girl because I am a man with a mission to continue our Korean lineage. So I feel guilty to even date a foreign national. I am not shy. I just cannot break out of this cultural boundary. I am sure every race has this same issue. In every culture, marrying a foreign race is a challenge. Dating or marrying a foreign national is not very well accepted or tolerated in Korean culture. Because we are brought up in such a culture, we cannot approach other races easily. But trust me, we love foreign girls as much as we love Korean girls. After all, we are attracted by beauty, not by their race. Our cultural tradition that we should not be marrying foreigners coupled with our understanding that the same would be true for those foreign girls is a big hurdle to overcome. It seems the white society is more open and tolerating in this regard (on interracial relationship). Because I have had a lot of foreign girls hitting on me which I rarely capitalise on.

Reply
1. oegukeen
  
  May 27, 2013
  
  Hello, and thank you for sharing your insight.
  
  I’m really curious, if Korean culture does not support relationships and marriage with foreigners, how do you explain that everyone, including my boyfriend’s distant and close family, friends, and classmates, is fine with the fact that I’m European? Do you think that maybe Korean expatriates are more strict about keeping their cultural lineage?
  
  Reply
  1. Nichola
    
    May 27, 2013
    
    I have found that Oegukeen… almost all the questions I get on my blog or in my blog email from people whose parents won’t accept their nonKorean boyfriend or girlfriend were not actually living in Korea. They are usually Korean American or Korean Australian. As you know, like your situation, my husband’s family was very accepting of me.
    
    In Seoul I met many other couples like this who also did not have any big issues with it.
    
    Reply
Lotte

April 26, 2013

From my experience, I have the impression that Korean guys can be very interested in Western girls, but they find it difficult to accept that Western girls might be interested in them, especially if the guy is young or inexperienced, and the girl is attractive.

I really like a guy in my university, we have been staring at each other for months, and from his behaviour I came to the conclusion that there is mutual interest. Of course I didn’t expect him to make a move, knowing that Asian guys find it difficult to approach Western girls, but when silence between us became almost ridiculous, I tried to speak with him (with enormous effort from my part, because I am also shy and would never speak to a guy in any other circumstances). He looked very happy when I talked with him, but the fact is that every time we meet randomly he becomes very shy, tries to avoid any conversation, and only when he is a bit farther away he stares at me with love in his eyes. I have tried to get closer to him, but it seems impossible, because he seems always unsure on what to do. Korean guys, if a girl looks at you independently from her nationality, she likes you!!! Dont be scared of, please.

Reply
1. oegukeen
  
  May 27, 2013
  
  I’m glad to hear that you mustered up the courage to speak to him even though you are shy yourself. I believe the person who is more outgoing of the two should make the first move, regardless if they are male or female.
  
  Maybe his shyness to speak to you is also stemming from having to speak in a foreign language. I’ve been using English to communicate daily for 4 years when I found myself in a situation where I wanted to leave a good impression on an older woman (wasn’t even a good looking guy!) and I was completely tongue-tied.
  
  But that resolves in time so don’t give up. I can’t tell you how much perseverance it took to get Kimchi Man to talk to me for the first time :)
  
  Reply
Anonymous

April 21, 2013

I’m a Korean guy. I like white women,(in general) korean guy like white women, but it depends on person : )

Reply
yolanda bingham

April 4, 2013

My God. All of you guys are very attractive :).!Do any Korean guys like bigger girls?I’m coming to korea and was planning on dating when I’m there.

Reply
1. oegukeen
  
  April 4, 2013
  
  What do you mean bigger? Taller or heavier?
  
  Reply
Anonymous

January 8, 2013

I recently began dating a Korean man in his late 30’s. He’s not married and that I can ascertain has never been married. He’s a little different from most Korean men I’ve met. He enjoys traveling, likes to surf, and (so far) hasn’t been put off by the fact that I am by no means a waifish, demure woman. And I’m not white. I’m mixed-race and from the United States. He has told me that he thinks I am fun, funny, smart, and that he likes the fact that I enjoy Korean food. The last one is amusing. I always found Korean men attractive but was never approached by any of them, and even in this case I was the one who made the first move. I’m not sure what will happen. He keeps calling me so I am glad to see where it goes.

Reply
1. oegukeen
  
  January 9, 2013
  
  Hello, we are glad you shared your story with us. Always interesting to learn about different experiences.
  
  Reply

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