This is the place where our readers asked questions about
- dating a Korean guy,
- having a Korean boyfriend,
- South Korean dating culture,
- …
in the comment section below.
Check out answers section, which you can always find by clicking on the menu on top, to see long in-depth answers we have given, mostly relating to relationships with Korean men. Our answers in the comments below are somewhat shorter, but can still be useful if you’re in a similar situation.
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539 responses to “Ask us”
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HI, I have post a question last here and here I am again~
My story is I met a korean guy during my trip to Korea in Oct 2012. Ever since I went back to my country after the tour we message everyday. He have confess that he like me & I confess to him I like him too but we are not a couple yet. March I will be going back to Korea to meet up with him. Then and there we will decide whether to be together. We are both excited & afraid about it. We want to make sure when we meet each other we will still have strong feeling for each other before we will be together.
Do you have this worry before you meet Kimchi man face to face? When you meet Kimchi man face to face for the first time, Is the feeling stronger than chatting online? I really want our relationship to go into another chapter. Are we just worried for nothing? Your advice needed~
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I wouldn’t say the love itself increased when we met, because I was already in love with him as much as possible, but of course it was more intense when I could actually look into his eyes, and hold his hand.
We were both worried. I was worried he might have a wrong impression of who I am and get disappointed when he meets me. He was afraid the same, that I will change my mind when I meet him. But I was never afraid that my feelings for him would change.
Does that answer your question?
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Yes, I guess so. I guess it lies on how we going to face it. thanks
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Hi,
I met a Korean guy in Gangnam one night as I was standing outside a club waiting for my friends to come meet me. This handsome Korean approached me and told me that he saw me walking around Gangnam. He asked me if I was waiting for someone and I told him yes. I thought he was very handsome and he told me that he thought I was beautiful and wanted to get to know me more. Since my friends were coming soon and he was going out to get drinks with others I gave him my number. He started texting me a lot after that night telling me that I’m beautiful and that he can’t wait to hangout with me. Flash forward to two weeks later, he hasn’t made any moves to hangout with me. When I do text him to ask how he is he says he’s always busy with work ( he’s in marketing). I always have to text him first and he never calls me. I like him and feel frustrated about why he hasn’t made any moves to hangout. He said that he’ll pick a day that’s better for him. Lord, whats so hard about getting coffee or dinner on a weekday. To make matters worse he likes to text me randomly which gives me more confused signals. I can’t figure if he’s just not into me or actually is really busy.
The other day I was chased down by this other Korean guy who saw me walking around my dong. He introduced himself to me and asked if I had a boyfriend and I said no. He was surprised to find out I didn’t have a boyfriend because he also thought I was beautiful. He asked me for my number and said he’d call me. He even made sure to check my number to see if it wasn’t fake. Flash forward a week later he hasn’t called. I’m tired meeting Korean guys that seem interested in me but then never contact me! It wasn’t like they were drunk or that I met them in a night club which would be a major NO NO. Why do they do this? I am a Black ESL teacher from Canada just to let you know. I’ve never dated a Korean guy but have dated foreigners in Korea.
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Hello Rooney,
That’s just two guys, I don’t think you should make any conclusions yet. Also, I’m curious, why do you think meeting a random guy on the street is better than meeting them in a night club?
Anyway, you shouldn’t take it personally. They don’t know ANYTHING about you, so it’s impossible for them to like or dislike you.
And if you can say “what is so hard about getting coffee or dinner on a weekday”, you obviously don’t know anything about Korean working environment ^^
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Hey thanks so much for responding! I meant to say get a coffee or dinner during the weekend.Honestly, I thought that maybe if I met a guy on the street, or store, that it would less skeevy than a nightclub or anywhere near one. I haven’t had the best experiences with meeting guys in nightclubs.
They don’t know anything about me beside my name. The fact that they don’t call or text often makes me feel like they just asked for my number for a ego boost but have no intention of calling or hanging out with me despite them telling me over and over again how they can’t believe I don’t have a BF and that I’m pretty.
I don’t know whether or not I should play hard to get or be up front about my feelings towards the guy I met in Gangnam a few weeks ago. I’m not one to put myself out there but I like him more than any other guy. Heck I gave him my number first before he asked and I NEVER do that.
How do I know if a Korean guy really likes me? Should I ignore him for a bit? Why Korean guys prefer to text than call? I don’t really know how Korean guys pursue women and whats normal and not normal. Like are Korean guys direct or really in direct.
I’m so confused….
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That last paragraph is EXACTLY what I’d like to know too!
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Whether you should play hard to get or be up front, depends on what that particular guy finds attractive. You can’t know that since you don’t know anything about him, so just do whatever feels right for you.
How do you know if a non-Korean guy likes you? Same thing. Korean guys are not that different.
I don’t know if you should ignore him. As I wrote above, do whatever you feel is right.
If you speak English to them, they probably prefer to text rather than call because it is a foreign language and they feel insecure. Also, most young people I know prefer to text than call because they are more relaxed that way.
Korean guys are human beings so anything that is normal for you and me is normal for them too. Then again, people are different and each one of us have our own little weirdness. Basically, you decide what you will tolerate in a guy and label that behavior as “normal”.
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Do you have any advice on how to start a relationship with a Korean guy? I would like to go there someday because I want to get a job there. And I’m actually thinking if I stay there for a long time, I would like to meet a nice guy there.
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Hello,
Could you please explain a bit further on what you mean by “how to start a relationship”?
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Well, I want to start something casual with a Korean guy. And if I’m interested, I’d want to get into a relationship with him. Do you have any advice on that?
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There is no generalized approach that would work on all 25 million Korean men. That’s a lot of men.
The reason I am so happy with Kimchi Man is because we are such a good match for each other. So if I changed my behavior to be what I imagined Koreans would like, he wouldn’t have gotten to see real me and would not have liked me.
That’s not so important in your case, since you are just looking for something casual, but it does partially still apply because you do want to find a guy who suits you well.
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How do Korean men feel about women who are a little bit heavy but not over weight?
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Thank you for submitting a question. I need to think a bit about this – whether I have enough to say to write a post or if I will answer here in the comments.
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I think it was couple of years back when my aunt n her daughter went to visit korea. They came back telling all sorts of stories of good n bad while they were there. I was sort of the only one in the family that likes n adore korea n anything related to korea. So she was telling stories about the first impression of koreans n it wasn’t so good. But it didnt stop me wanting to know about korea n anything related to korea. Its been almost 2-3 years now that i’ve been crazy over kpop n kdrama. So i kept telling myself not to believe what other people said bcuz their thoughts can be different for me. I also have a friend who often travel to korea for holiday and she said the koreans are very particular with skin colors. Is it true? There’s so many of things that my acquiantances said about korean. My aunt said they’re loud. About the skin color, for me, i think its normal cuz in my country people are been judge in so many ways. @oegukeen u live in korea for so many years n have a relationship with korean n definitely hv friends in korean. Do you think they’re like as how my friend n my aunt said? The koreans in malaysia are ok i think, some of them, cuz most koreans i meet are students n most of them i think they’re fine. Even my mum think that korean are rude n rough. What do u think? What are the things that most korean dislikes the most?
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Hello Nana,
I don’t know where you got that I have lived in Korea for many years. I have never even been to Korea!
Those things people tell you about Koreans are called prejudices.
Koreans are loud? What does that even mean? Maybe they were on a busy street, maybe they were drunk, and yes maybe those Koreans are just loud.
I especially find this generalization funny. You see, Kimchi Man is extremely quiet. He is quieter than anyone I have ever met. I literally put my ear in front of his mouth sometimes to hear what he is saying. My parents ask me what he said even if he is sitting right next to them.
He has some stomach issues that make it very painful for him to speak normally. This affects him so much that sometimes he just communicates with me with gestures. If I judged Koreans based on my experience with him, I would conclude they don’t speak loudly enough. You can’t judge a whole nation, 50 MILLION people in this case, based on personal experience.
And what does it matter if they are loud? Would you reject friendship or love with a person because she/he is loud? Then we could never be friends. ^^
Don’t believe other people’s opinions about Koreans, and don’t have your own. Some Koreans are heroes, some Koreans are murderers. Judge a person when you get to know her. And realize you don’t know anything about a person if only thing you know is that they are Korean.
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I don’t actually believe what they (my aunt, my mum n my friend) said. So far I met Koreans in Malaysia, they’re okay. Its totally understandable when you meet with strangers in different country, you wont simply greet them. These people I know basically love to judge people whenever they saw them by the street or shopping malls. I’m not like that. I think most people have their own ways of thinking and their way of judging others. In Malaysia, I work as invigilator and invigilate international exams especially for universities and school exams like A-levels n O-levels. So for school exams for Cambridge, I met a lot of Koreans. They’re only kids and teenagers and tend to be ignorant so it’s pretty much normal because I was at their age before. So far, Korean students I met are nice and listen well. Well, once in a while, they do things n not quite follow by the rules but its fine as long as its not serious. I’ve met some Koreans through a social network website (not facebook or twitter). They’re nice and I don’t find them as how my aunt, my mum n my friend describe them. My way of thinking about others are different. I tend to ignore what other people especially when like to talk about others and say bad things about others. I like to Korea and meet the people there in person.
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Hello Happy new year! remember me sister? I have goodnews. Me and my korean guy is okay now! :)
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Hello Marish,
Happy New Year to you too. I remember, your Korean guy expressed his love for you and next day told you he only said it because he was drunk. I am glad you cleared it out and all is well now.
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Yes. Thank you for your advices. We chose to be friends now and learn to know each other more. Love can wait if that man is really for me. He said that, it is so fast if we have relationship now, we even don’t know each other and see each other. That is why, i understand his point of views. we are okay now, we spend so much time chatting in kakaotalk and he even shares some of his activities and life related matter. He even becomes so open to me that is why, i advice to many that don’t be too rush in love it has its right time, if that is really destined for you, all your waiting’s and efforts will be worth it. As of now, we are enjoying and i take some effort bringing some fire in our relationship now^^ i hope that i can travel Korea this year. I’m planning to meet him up! take care and fighting!^^
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Loving Korean 
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