Ask us 2012 Archives

These were questions asked in 2012. To ask a question right now, please go to our new section Ask Loving Korean.

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433 thoughts on “Ask us 2012 Archives

  1. Hello,

    I am in love with a korean guy, we go to the same university and we met, when we took the same class about a year ago. I am 19 and he is 21.

    I always feel and act very shy, when I am around a person I really like. When there is no him, I am very funny, communicative and totally normal.
    I am not korean (still asian), and I dont speak korean.
    The problem is that…He is not a shy one at all, at least he seems to be so. Sometimes when we meet at some university events, we talk, and he seems to like me as a girl, but we never text/chat after that. I mean, we talk only when we see each other. that’s why talking to him is a very rare occasion, because we meet rarely.
    The first time I saw him this year after a long period of time, was another university event, he sent an invitation to me on facebook, which i dont think was something special or anything, but i decided to go there still. on the day when he sent the invitation, our eyes met at a cafe, when i was walking past him, but i was with my girl friend and he was with a girl friend as well, so i thought:”alright, i havent seen you for ages, why say Hi then, you probably dont even remember me”. he didnt wave hi to me either. So yeah, then BOOM I got that invitation, and i decided to go. cause i thought that accidental meeting had something to do with the invitation.

    when i just got there, he came up first saying”ooh, it’s been a long time” and hugged me, which was a bit weird, because we are not that close friends at all, til that time, we probably had a talk for a couple of times, not more. i mean, i’m not that kind of friend of his, who he could miss. we were never close at all. but i think at the moment when he hugged me, i clearly understood that i liked him a lot. i knew i liked him before, but i thought it was not serious.

    i met him the second time about a couple days ago at a university event as well. there were very few people there, but he took the time to come up to me and talk and i tried to act as normal and funny as i could, but i was burning inside and shaking and all that… in the end he said that he’d like to attend an event of mine (i’m the president of a student group). so i promised to send him an invitation.

    everything seems to be okay, but i dont understand, why he is so passive, if he likes me. does it mean, that he doesnt like me as a girl, but just being friendly ? he never sends me messages or anything like that… i am hesitating to message him, cause i’m afraid i would never get a reply…and i think that a guy must make the first moves. and if he doesnt, then it means he’s not interested, in my opinion. i would understand, if he was a shy one, but..as i said before he’s not. he’s very friendly and communication is not a problem for him.

    and the second problem is that i dont know for sure if he has a girfriend or not. however, the facebook status says Single :) otherwise, the last thing i would want to do is ruining a relationship…

    Also, i thought about the problem, that i am not korean, and i thought about the possibility, that he is not interested in me as a girl, because i’m not korean :(

    anyways..please heeeeeeelp

    • Thank you for visiting our site and leaving your question. We will get to it as soon as we answer the previous one. In the meantime we hope you will find something interesting to read here. :)

      • Thank you ! Also, I think it’s worth mentioning that he’s kind of americanized korean. he has been living in the USA for about 5 years I believe. But he almost always hangs out with korean friends
        thanks once again ! I really appreciate the time you spend on answering the questions and helping others !!!

        • No problem :) I wish there was someone who could answer my questions when I was falling in love. It’s not easy handling uncertainty when you have feelings for someone.

  2. Hi…
    I’m half chinese half filipino girl but my family and I moved in phil for good when I was still young.. I am now 22 years old, and I met this korean guy last year almost 9 months ago.. well, I just really feel so alone about this so I hope you can help me out.. here’s my story..
    9 months ago July 2011 to be exact I applied in a Korean school in our city, I was accepted and first week in school I had only 2 students and one of the two was the guy I fell in love with. At that time I was 21 and he’s 25 I think. At first I dont really feel anything for him, just the teacher-student relationship. I also noticed he was this shy type of guy, first 2 weeks with him he barely talked. But after about 4 weeks we just got close and I dunno how it happened. But after that he started teasing me everytime we see each other in the hallway, he’s calling me vampire and i’m calling him werewolf. A lot of teasing and all. And then one time during class he asked me who I like then I told him I like Lee Seung Gi [korean actor] then he repeated that question again and I answered him same answer I gave him before then after than he start acting like his heart is in pain [physically] at first I dunno what does that action means but my friend told me he might be hurt that it wasnt him that I like and so he started acting that in a joke way so it wont be obvious.. then he also asked if I do have a boyfriend that time and I said no and he told me that I must get a boyfriend, and I also mentioned to him that I have a curfew around 7pm and he told me that my boyfriend might want to be with me more than my curfew time.. what does that mean??
    and sometimes he’ll notice what I’m wearing like last time when I was wearing a coat and I just passed by him he really asked me isnt your coat thick? dont u feel hot? and one time when I had a new student and he’s kinda good looking and almost same age with me, he started asking questions like, So are you happy that the good looking new student is in your class?… who’s better me or him? – those kind of questions and I dunno why he’s asking me like that..
    and one of my friend in that school was also his tutor.. so whenever he’ll have class with that friend of mine he would usually asked her to call me and let me go inside their room while they’re having class and it happened many times, i was just there listening to their conversation and whenever I decided to move out the room he would usually stop me and say Vampire where are you going? just stay here.
    or sometimes when we meet each other in the hallway he would blocked my way and wont let me pass and he’d tell me Touch me first before I let you pass.. and you know this kind of actions he’s showing me made me fell for him I think.. fell harder that I dont even know how to get out of this situation..
    and during his birthday I gave him a not Happy Birthday Werewolf! and he took a picture of it and upload it in his fb..
    he also challenged me one time to play snake and ladder with him and he told me if he wins I wont give him assignments for 1 week and if i win he wont complain even if I give him assignments everyday.. its the first time that I have ever played that game and it was with him, so I treasure it a lot (:
    what do you think his actions mean?? does it mean something? does he like me?
    ah, a day after his birthday he informed all his tutors that he will be absent for the whole day because last night he got drunk and hangover the next morning.. so I was expecting that he’ll also be absent in my class but I was surprised when he entered my room that day.. so I asked him Why are u here? I thought you’d be absent the whole day and he said I was thinking that if I wont come here you’ll be alone here. I was so touched when he told me that but ofcourse I act as if its nothing… and then 1 week after that he was removed in my class and so I started to feel like I was left hanging, a lot of questions are running into my head.. my friends were telling me that he must be afraid that he’d fall for me and so on…
    what I did was I tried to talk to him again, initiate the conversation first but I can feel this change like it’s not the way it was back before.. we dont talk that much anymore unlike before when he was still in my class.. we passed by each other in the hallway without even saying hi.. I asked him he doesnt talked to me anymore, he said He was shy. I tried everything to gain back the friendship we once had the closeness we once had… but I think I falied or maybe I didnt try harder? I was asking myself What should I do? but later on I just stopped trying to talk to him just trying to accept that maybe it wasnt meant to be.. September that year we stopped talking, offcially. February this year he went back to korea without talking to me. He had my number. This march a friend of mine who is also his friend told me that he has a kakaotalk so why not try to add him. So I added him and again I have to initiate the talking.. we talked and he told me he misses me but overjoyed about his message i wasnt able to reply to him right away and then he sent me a message again saying he was just kidding with the ‘haha’ … what does that mean???! I hate him but still I believe he meant it when he told me he misses me.. what do u think? Now, I decided to just stop talking to him stop initiating just to talk to him cause its always me who texts first maybe he really doesnt care at all so why would I waste my time with him…
    please help me what to do :( is my decision right?
    I badly need your opinion guys.. I hope you can help me out with this..
    sorry I think I wrote too long, its just that if i skipped a few lines u might not be able to get my situation.. kinda a long story (:
    he’s still single until now and he told me before that he once had a girlfriend 4 years ago…
    hoping to get a reply from you soon ^^ thanks ~

  3. Pingback: [Q&A] Will my Korean man marry me? « Loving Korean

  4. Why koreans dont seem to like when you say sorry?
    My korean friend gets defensive when I say sorry and never says sorry himself?Trys to make things right when we had a falling out and never said sorry and when I did or would before the falling out, would say dont say sorry, I dont want you to say sorry anymore.Then I notice he never says sorry himself but will say he is wrong etc…

  5. Hi Oegukeen and Kimchi Man. Thanks for asking around for stories/suggestions about my current situation. I’m glad there are many ladies out there who are strong and steadfast in their mixed relationships. Lucky for me, Oppa is loyal and faithful, and his closest friends and brother do know about me. I do feel accepted by him and those he cares about, but I’m just afraid of the future. As you both know, there are many obsticles in our way, ie. Oppa’s work visa, my family’s view on our relationship, our job instabilities, etc. I’m afraid of losing my bestfriend-slash-boyfriend-slash-big brother-slash lover, and I don’t think marriage (if even possible) will help us grow in the direction it has been going.

    Oppa has helped me to love and appreciate myself, to forgive others, to place all my troubles in a prayer that can be lifted away from my shoulders, to believe in myself and dream big, and especially to love someone for his/her heart not appearance. He is my angel, and for once I don’t want to say goodbye to such a great relationship. As we continue our job searchs for the upcoming school year, I don’t know where we’ll end up. All I know is that Oppa has been offered an interview for the Los Angelos School District in California–and we live in Minnesota. As much as I want to keep him with me, I at least want him to gain the interview experience, and then we’ll see what next steps come along…. All I want now is a few prayers that Oppa and I will remain together, with viery little distance and tears in between, if possible. Thanks.

    -writer1986

    • We are always glad to help and we hope you can go trough this and end up getting what you want.

      Your Oppa sounds amazing and he is a great support and a loyal partner to you. If he really is as you describe him you don’t need to worry about him not telling his parents yet.

      Don’t be discouraged by bleak future. The good thing about the future is that you don’t know what it will be like.

      Kimchi Man and I also face what seems like an insurmountable obstacle to us being together. In our future we will have to spend a lot of time on the different sides of the world and we face A LOT of uncertainty. But none of us knows what is really going to happen so why give up on these great loves we found?

      Keep in touch :)

  6. Hi,

    I’m a Filipino, and i fell in love with this korean guy, we go to the same university but we’re not classmates. I’m 18 and he’s 23. I first saw him last November when me and my friends are standing in front of an internet cafe near our school, as i saw him i told my friends that he’s handsome (well he’s not facing us, just saw his side frame) and it’s like he heard it because he looked at me and i’m like so shy and my friends told me that my face turned red, we’re not near each other that time so i supposed that he really has a good ear. Haha!! when he looked at me i realized that he’s not handsome at all and i told my friends and they just laughed about it. Up until now i still think that it’s so funny :D

    After that, we always pass by each other almost every day in school and i always remember the first time i saw him and i smiled or laugh a little whenever i see him. i don’t know why but my heart beats so fast whenever i see him :). I realized that he’s cute and he has a good posture and he’s also physically fit, i also learned that he is single, he already finished his military service and that his friend (also a korean guy) is my former classmate in one of our subjects a year ago. I added him as a friend on facebook and he quickly accepted my friend request. i found his facebook profile because of his friend (the korean guy which is my former classmate).

    At first i’m shy to chat with him on facebook because i’m afraid that he will not reply, but my friends dared me to do it and they also told me to give my cellphone number to him, i really gulped a LOT of courage to chat with him and i’m so happy that he replied. I told him that i always see him in school, and he asked me why i don’t say hello or hi to him, i told him that he looks so serious. He said that he’s bored and tired in school, and i ask him why, he told me it’s because he doesn’t have a girlfriend. I’m like (0_0)……Haha!! After that i gave him my number if he needs help or anything and i told him that i will definitely say hello to him the next day and he said that he will be looking forward to it but i didn’t saw him the next day.

    I told my friends about it and they’re so happy for me, but whenever i see him in school i can’t say hello to him because my friends always shouts my name and i’m shy or embarrassed and i asked them why they’re doing it and they said that they shout my name when he’s around for him to remember that i’m the one he chatted with. He’s always with his friend and his friend is always saying hello to me and my friends because he knows that we’re his former classmates, i respond to his friends’ hello but i cant say hello to him because i’m so shy and i really can’t look him in the eye. i forgot to say that he always look so serious, it’s like he’s unapproachable and not friendly but i saw him thrice laughing with his Filipino classmates. ^^-

    I put a smiley and hello to him on his chatbox on facebook the next day after we chatted, he’s online then and he didn’t reply, i did the same thing the next day but i still didn’t get any reply from him, we never chatted after that, i didn’t receive any text message from him not once.

    I remember before, my friend and i saw him outside the school and we followed him he bought a cigarette and i pretend to buy something and i looked at him and he’s looking at me, i’m so shy that i looked away and pretend to look something on my wallet, after that my friend told me that he smiled when i looked away.

    My friends urged me to say hello to him before the semester ends but i’m afraid that he will not respond because i didn’t even get a reply from him on facebook, but whenever my friends and i passed by him they told me that he’s looking at me and they think that he already know me eventhough i pretend not to know him when he’s with his friend.

    The last day of the semester is our finals exam and my friends and i are reviewing in the student center and he and his friend passed by us, as usual his friend waved at us i didn’t get the chance to see him because my table is facing the other side, well i saw his back. haha!! after a few minutes they passed by us again and my friend who is facing me told me ‘he’s approaching you’ but then my other friend screamed well maybe of excitement because my crush is approaching me.

    But then he didn’t approach me, he just freezed there after my other friend screamed at the top of her lungs and he just like backed out and walked away with his friend. I don’t know if he’s shocked or what. He’s in South Korea right now for vacation, he’ll be returning here in the Philippines maybe this May or June, i always looked at his facebook profile and he always posted there that he needs a girlfriend, but i don’t have the courage to chat with him anymore because i’m afraid that he will not reply again.

    Do you think he’s not interested in me? or it’s because he thinks i’m too young for him? or is he just waiting for me to approach him? OMG i really don’t know what to think :(

    I forgot to say that i’m a year ahead of him in school and i’ll be graduating next year, i still want to see him after that. :(

    I’m so sorry if i wrote toooooo long. haha!! Anyways i really need your help, i don’t know what to do :( I’m hoping to get a reply from you soon ^^- Thanks!! :D

  7. … My friend, however, said that Korean men think Western women are all easy and that they have sexual fantasies about us and that I should be super careful if Korean men approach me because they will expect certain things from me and they can be dangerous. …

    You can read full comment as well as our answer in our post Do Korean men think western women are easy?

    • I didn`t know that!!!! I heard that they like european/american females because they are beautiful not that they have sexual fantasies . lol

  8. hi i would like to get actor daniel henneys and rain bi home address..could u pls find it n post..becoz since im residing in outer country..its really very hard to find their address.

    • I’m sorry, we don’t have their address. Maybe you can find a fan site for them and see if they have some info on where to send fan mail?

  9. Hi, I would like to say your posts are really helpful especially since I just unexpectedly fell for a Korean guy myself ^^

    I met a Korean guy online, I am 24 years old and he is, 34 years old and he recently visited my country to meet me and my parents for the first time. During his short visit (only 4 days) we became a couple. ^^

    But after we became a couple, he said something like could I please “accept” him.

    He said that in Korean culture, “accepting” a person and being a couple means giving your heart and body completely to that person, and it’s like saying, “I love you and so I want to give you myself.”… is this true?

    ..I found him to be so “fast” and I was scared, since I come from a culture that is very very conservative/reserved when it comes to romantic relationships (we strongly believe in saving oneself/reserving oneself for marriage).

    But he understood me and said that he respects our culture and I am happy about that.

    He is now back in Korea, and plans on visiting again, but I am afraid that he will try to make me “accept” him the next time we meet…

    I’ve been trying to find out anything about this “acceptance” thing, and I haven’t found anything about it..I am starting to think that maybe he lied to me…

    …I am really confused and “scared”…is there really such a thing as this kind of “acceptance” for us to become an official couple???

    sorry for the long post, I just really really need your help on this…thanks ^^

  10. First of all I wanted to thank you for the great site and the time you take for answering our questions. I have a general question. Do Koreans prefer older or younger women? Until now I read several times that many would not mind to date an older, more mature woman. I’ve even encountered couples with up to 10 (+) years age difference (usually the man was older). You should know that in m country (also in my family) women with older men are quickly “stamped”. Thank you in advance!
    Greetings from Germany :)

  11. I met a Korean man online about two months ago. We wrote a few times using email and before long we had exchanged phone numbers and were writing from the time we woke up until the time we fell asleep. Soon after, we meet in person and became good friends although we both brought people with us to the first meeting so we had little chance to talk about anything personal.

    The next time we met was alone and ended up talking for 7 hours! After that, he started calling multiples times a day for quick 5 minute chats to check on me and texting in between. When we are out, he takes tons of photos of us together and candid shots of me when I am not looking. He also gets very protective, carries everything, insists on paying and walks/sits very close so we are always touch in some way. I have all his passwords and usernames that he volunteered (as an American, I know married couples that don’t know that about each other!). He says I am too cute when I mess up my Korean sayings and grins like crazy when I call him obba. He makes sure when we are with friends I stay by him and pay more attention to him than anyone else… He even is going to introduce me to his family, though I have not mentioned it. The fact I am home minded and know my way around a household like a pro is something he constantly mentions as “so cool” and says I am the perfect feminine woman.

    To me, this all seems like signs he likes me but he hasn’t said anything about a relationship. Am I suppose to just assume? He mentions that it is very hard for him to express his feelings and that it takes time before he can say anything aloud… Also, could he be a little anxious about the age difference? He is 6 years my senior though he says we are on the perfect maturity level… One last question, any advice on how to behave toward Korean man that might be different than American? I always let him take the lead and just try to follow but at the same time provide enough challenge he doesn’t get bored.

    Sorry for the book… I know I am such a bore but I appreciate you taking the time to read it.

    Lizzy B.

  12. Hi there :)

    What birthday present should I give my Korean close friend for his 18th birthday? We’re not going out but we’re quite close. I’ve read so many responses on Korean birthday gift ideas and people mostly suggest a handmade gift.. But I’m kinda running out of time, his birthday is coming up in 4 days and I haven’t got paid for this week yet. So my budget is quite low but I don’t wanna give him something very low budget too. But I also wanna give him something a bit pricey to show how much he means to me but I don’t wanna look too much in front of our school mates because apparently we’re not going out (although I somehow expect we will be soon, yeah I’ve got feelings for him).

    Pleasssseeeee help me. I’m so running out of ideas.. Thank you so much there :)

    • I will answer your question in short here because by the time we publish a post about it, his birthday will already have passed.

      Kimchi Man says there is no special gift for 18th birthday. However, 21st of May is a day to celebrate people who just became grownups and a gifts for that are a rose, a kiss and perfume.

      Here is a gift giving guide http://seoulistic.com/korean-culture/korean-culture-says-buy-these-gifts/ but 18th birthday is not mentioned.

      Don’t worry about the fact that he is Korean and just get him something you think he might personally like. If he is from Korea then give him something that is specific about your country to remind him of the time he spent there.

    • Hi Anon. A gift from the heart is never low budget. And I’m sure your friend will cherish anything you give him. My suggestions are to grab anything you have in your house or work, and create something–so yes, a handmade gift may be the way to go. You could make him a card and bake him cookies! This is my boyfriend’s favorite gift because he prefers things that I made from the heart (and reading my notes to him) and food :P So give that a try if you like. Hope this helps!

  13. Hello :)

    I’m going to study hangul in south korea for approximately 1 year. I’m an asian girl who studied overseas for quite a while so im used to the north-american culture.
    Now,, i’m really into kpop, i wont lie about it. And that’s probably my main reason of planning to study hangul in korea as soon as i finish my education here.

    But i noticed that all korean women seems flawless. In terms of appearance, i feel that all of them are attractive (they just looks..perfect and it’s killing me). So i’m kind of concern that it will be hard for me to get a korean male as a friend later because of that. It might seems ridiculous but i do know a few korean male here and they dont show any interest with other girls except korean (i do noticed that many girls are showing their interest with them but they dont react to it).

    So, i know that many non-asian girls have this question of whether asian male like non-asian girls or not but in my case, did they have interest with asian (but not korean) girls? — i actually feel that non-asian girls have higher chance than me, as asian girl but from different countries, to get korean male as a friend or even boyfriend. — i know that basically it all comes to personality and racial background should not matter at all, BUT it will not be right to say that people don’t take this thing into consideration.

    I know that my question might be your typical question and i’m sorry for asking such question. It’s just that i’m afraid that i’ll be all alone in korea and the learning experience wont be as fun as what i’m experiencing here and i’m beating myself for it. Or the worst part is, i ended up getting more foreigner friends(non-korean), my english stays the same (or even better), i still cant speak korean language at all and i’m wasting 1 year of education and money.

    Thank you and i appreciate you guys reading (and hopefully) answer my question :)

  14. Hello
    I met a Korean guy online who is six years younger than me. Do you think that most korean men are mindful of older asian woman? I’m always the one initiating text msgs and he had been very friendly and open to me. But maybe he is just being nice. Do you think he would scared off if I said something like I miss you?
    Thank you for your comments :)

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