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I met my Korean boyfriend
That night everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. My carefully perfected plan was ruined. After taking 6 hours to get there it turned out the place where I wanted to get the food had been closed for a year, the bus didn’t show up, I spent all the money on a cab fare and, on the day when it was crucial I look my best, I looked exhausted and defeated.
This late at night the airport was in semi-darkness and looked deserted. The time seemed to have both slowed down and sped up. I wanted it to pass, and yet, I wasn’t ready. Slowly, a few people gathered. Among them I saw a few black-haired heads. Asians! That was a good sign.
Finally, the gates opened and people started pouring out. And then… I saw him! I had no trouble recognizing him. After all, I haven’t done much else than stare at his photos for the last few months. He was weaving among people, and every few seconds, I would lose sight of him. He grabbed his suitcase and headed… straight towards me!
Yesterday we were thousands of kilometers apart. Now we were so close we could have touched each other. Could have, had it not been for a huge glass pane dividing the arrivals from people ready to greet them. I motioned towards the doors. Before I knew what had happened I was awkwardly hugging him. I had played this hug in my head hundreds of times. Somehow in my mind I always did it much more gracefully. But then again in my mind he didn’t have that huge backpack on.
Dazed, we both made it out, murmuring, trying to make a conversation, our hearts pounding. In the meantime the missing bus magically appeared and we settled in the seats next to each other.
For the first time I looked at him. Really looked at him. It was my boyfriend. My Korean boyfriend. My Korean boyfriend who I was seeing in person for the first time in my life. My eyes slid from his face along his arms. Muscular arms. Down to his hands resting in his lap. There was that watch, the silver watch I would recognize in an instant because it was on every photo of him I have seen. And his hands were just as manly and beautiful as in the photos.
“Is this what you want?”
I looked up to see him smiling at me. My eyes went down again to his hand
but this time it wasn’t resting in his lap. It was outstreched, palm-upward, ready for me to hold it. Big smile settled in on my face as our hands wrapped around each other.
Actually, nothing had gone wrong that night.
Even now, 2 years later, our experience is nothing short of wonderful. We have had surprisingly easy journey from meeting to becoming an irreplaceable parts of each other’s lives.
If you have a Korean guy you like, or if you are already in a relationship with one, we would love to share our experiences and tell you what we have learned so far, but we would also love to hear any tips that you might have .
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I thought maybe it was because of their own or their parents wish to maintain Korean traditions now that they are living in Australia, and they may be afraid of losing this if they married an Australian.
I hadn’t thought about it before but I think your last point might be right, that it’s a defense mechanism and something they are saying but they don’t really feel that they would not want to date or marry someone just because they aren’t Korean.
I hope your readers won’t be offended by my posts, I know I’m not an expert, this is just my own feelings and experience.
The reason I like your blog is because is because of all the ways you describe your Korean boyfriend and you being so similar, that’s how I feel too.
No one should be offended, you had your experience and share it with others. I think that’s valuable.
We really are so similar and agree on many things. I never thought I would find my soul mate in such a far away country.
It makes me feel better about the world to finally realize we humans are more similar than we know it. :) I’m glad you experienced that feeling as well.
I’m wondering if anyone knows of a blog by a Korean guy dating a European or Australian girl? I thought it would be interesting to read from a guy’s perspective too!
x
As far as I know, this is the only blog that is written in English from Korean guy’s perspective. All the other ones are written in Korean.
Korean guy (my boyfriend) reads every single question and tells me what to write in every post I’ve published so far. It’s just that it’s easier for me to write in English, and I also have more free time than he does.
On those rare occasions that readers request only he answers their question, he does :) Author: kimchiman11
Lol. Finally a good instance of dating male koreans. Tho i hav to agree about some social pressures makin a lot less datable than others :/
Hello,
I’m glad you found the positive aspect of dating Korean men here :)
We are both wondering though, what do you mean by social pressure?
HAHAHA! I really love how your boyfriend calls himself “Kimchiman!”
The funny thing is, he doesn’t even like Kimchi all that much ^^ He went a whole year without eating it.
The nickname is due to his best friend, who had come to Europe and we spent two weeks together – he was cracking some jokes about the two of them being Kimchi man, so when we were deciding which nicknames to use my boyfriend chose Kimchi Man to remind us of those good times of laughing and joking :)
Reading your post about your first “in-person” meeting, my head already imagining a scene in one of those k drama…. it’s a good short story, i almost weep….. lol…. but i do have a bad habit of imagining things too much sometimes…. ^_^
It’s the most amazing memory for both of us. But we thought we think it’s romantic just because it happened to us. It’s so great to know other people like it too :D Thank you
It is romantic, and his reaction when u looked at his hand, that question, it’s soooo k drama, that makes me more curious if it’s normal for any average korean men to be romantic, just like what’s being describe in their k drama series, or is it just the scriptwriter, ^_^
Boring answer, I know, but: it really depends on the guy.
Most guys that care, strive to be romantic, especially in the beginning of the relationship. The way in which they try to express themselves is surely influnced by the media, in Korean guys’ case – the Kdramas.
Kimchi Man and I don’t care about nor celebrate Valentine’s day, White day and all those Korean love holidays, so as you can see, it really depends on the guy what he considers romantic.
i don’t quite agree though, because i think enviorenment took the biggest part of that, lets say in US there many tv show that eplore the sexiness and brutally, that makes the diffrence with the korea or asia country which would alredy been banned by government so most of asia or specially korea tv show have k-drama with many romantic scene every day. how about if we watching that romantic scene every day would us be influence also by that.
i think it the main reason why guy in korea have more a soft heart , with the soft heart romantic and caring is something woul be followed , believe it or not
NB : the enviorenment will affect you.
tv show have positive or negative side.
the most important is YOU LEARN WHAT YOU SEE ^^
I understand what you mean. And I see you recommended some Korean dramas below. Thank you for that.
But I have to say, I don’t agree with you.
First of all, most Korean guys don’t watch Korean dramas every day as you say. Some Korean guys, like my boyfriend, never watch ANY Korean dramas. Have you seen any of the Korean movies like Silmido, Breathless, Oldboy, Silenced, May 18…? Those are all amazing movies, and they are dark, full of violence and not a shred of sweet romance.
Second of all, having soft heart or not is influenced by many things, but tv has to be the least influential there. I watched hundreds if not thousands of American movies, and I don’t go around waving a gun and getting involved in crazy car chases. That’s entertainment, and most grownups know it has nothing to do with how real lives are.
I agree that you learn what you see, but what you see from your parents, your siblings, your peers… Not tv.
Well, they sure do know how to make romantic scenes… :p
k-drama make a big hit in asia in early 90 because of its romantic scene and mellodrama. try watch TREE OF HEAVEN, ENDLESS LOVE, STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN , SUMMER SCENT and a lot more . this is the beginning of k-drama overhelmed asia until now. they are big in this drama.
try also taiwenese drama or japan drama, it have another taste of ectasy after watching it, my favorite japan drama is ONE LITRE OF TEARS AND KOIZORA SKY OF LOVE, for taiwanese drama i like DEVIL BESIDE YOU and HI MY SWEETHEART ^^
Must be lucky to have a Korean boyfriend. My Korean crush has very strict parents, they won’t even let him play under the rain! So, that means that it would be hard to meet his parents. Mmm, you know what they say. If you’re bound to have a Korean boyfriend, it will happen.
Really? Who says that? :)
We believe you make your own luck.
Hmm, I must be oversensitive, and worried.
hello, i am a living in seoul by teaching enlglish here, married to a korean man , we have 5years relation and i waited him for 2years beacuse he is getting in military service, right after that long waited 2years he proposed to me with a beautiful ring and saying ” BELIVE ME, I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU FOREVER ”
while singing in korea song which i translated it as below :
I WILL TELL YOU ABOUT MY STORY
ABOUT MY LONG TIME WITHOUT YOU…
I’M SO SORRY, BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO MAKE YOU SMILE
DON’T FEEL SORRY AND YOU CAN CRY NOW.
YOU HAVE BEARED ENOUGH.
That sounds like a very romantic story :)
hello,
there’s a blog called ask a korean (about dating)
http://askakorean.blogspot.com.au/2007/09/everything-you-ever-wanted-to-know.html
Hello,
We wrote “Korean men are men before they are Korean?” as a commentary to the post you linked here.
Hello, Oegukeen and Kimchi man.
I’m getting rather confused about the Koreans in my campus. One time, our only Korean boy in class seemed to like hanging out with his buddies. Then, before summer break he stopped hanging out with them (it turned rare, he started avoiding his best friend, Alex Ha).
They rarely have arguments, but I think this time he did something to disappoint him or he’s the one that got disappointed.
I showed sympathy to him by being the only one to talk to him. He was rather shy, but he starts to warm up to me.
We became new friends. I also think he apologized to him because I saw them hanging out again. Yet, I still encouraged him in his studies and English.
This summer, I’m expecting him to improve in his English. But I’m worried that he’ll not come back. Below are my questions now:
1. Is it normal for Koreans to avoid their closes friend for weeks?
2. Are Koreans somehow opened to new friends of opposite gender?
3. Can it be possible for Koreans to go back to Korea and never return?
1. Koreans are humans :)
2. This is actually something that not all Koreans agree on. Shortest answer would be: yes, they are. Those that are more traditional may hold the view that men and women can’t really be friends, but those I talked about were all open to friendships with opposite gender. Also, all my friends are guys, and my boyfriend doesn’t mind at all.
3. I don’t understand this question. Of course it’s possible… What do you mean?
1. Whoops, I forgot. Thx for reminding.
2. Hmm, a bit confusing. But, helpful.
3. I mean, after a long school year they have to go back to Korea. I heard that most Korean students in my school just leave and never come back because of racism from parents.
I don’t understand this last thing. Their parents let them go once, but not two times because they are racist?
Also, just like in every other country, not all Koreans are racist.
Annyong!
Hi, i’d like to comment on this one if u don’t mind. ^^
I don’t think it’s about parent’s racistsm at all when someone went for a purpose of studying abroad then one day when they’ve finished they return to their home country and never come back. Of course their first intention of studying abroad (or their parents intention of sending them) was not to make them a permanent residence, they would like to go back home to be part of their country development, to be able to contribute with the skills and knowledge that they’ve learnt abroad.
I’m Asian (though not korean – i’m Indonesian), and i think most Asian are quite similar in the basic things, we tend to have a strong cultural root and nationalism, so going home after a long year of studying abroad and never come back is very common, it has nothing to do with racistsm.
And by the way, since u are new in this relationship so why do u bother on something that is not certain in the future, just enjoy what u hv in the present, take ur time to understand his culture also, it can be exciting to learn new culture and how ppl actually live in the other part of the world with different living value. ^^
Thanks for the support. You’re right, I think I understand it now. I forgot to mention that the Korean graduates did not stay here too long :)
Of course we don’t mind, we think it is very valuable for our readers to say what they think as well. Thank you for letting us know :)
I completely agree with you, although I have to say that going home after studying abroad is a common thing everywhere, not just in Asia. It is called home for a reason.
And I agree it has nothing to do with racism. People go to study abroad mostly to gain new experiences. But to do that they have to leave behind their family, friends, language, customs, everything they are familiar with… of course they are drawn back.
there is a good proverbs in korea and believing by all the country in asia that is :
”only being sincere you can move anyone heart ”
:)
we know that love is universal, but can anyone tell the diffrence between love in asia, europe, america, arab and africa. since i live in asia i just know that true love in here is something rare , but true love in here can be means willing to sacrifice, even when the guy need to kneel before the girl if he do something very bad, can be a life time partner, laugh and cry together, etc
because of the description all the drama in asia are made to fullfill that description, from romantic drama until mellodrama. because one thing for sure everyone in asia always like this kind because can bring a lot of emotion,
Yeah. We may portray love differently in tv series and dramas (although even that is probably universal, otherwise Asian drama would never appeal to Western audience) but when it comes to real life, the differences disappear.
check this out maybe would be interested in hearing this radio
P.S
about foreigner who married to korean man and live in south korea
Dear Oegukeen & Kimchiman,
I was searching some info about Korean mandatory military service and came across your page. It’s very interesting to read your blog. Also, your love story is very cute. I’ve read different stories, questions and answers published in your blogs and I found that they are warm, adorable and intriguing sometimes.
I would love to read more exciting stories from you soon and wish both of you lots of happiness :)
i really like to read stories on your blog, makes me want to meet a korean guy:P
i havent met one in my life but wishing for it ;)