[Q&A] How does South Korean guy court girls?

Published by

oegukeen

January 26, 2012

How do South Korean guys court girls and women

Sunny asked:

Hi, I met this South Korean guy 2 months ago in Seoul. We are from different countries. We have been keeping in touch, mostly initiated by me. I don’t dare to initiate many chatting sessions online for fear of being too straight forward in my likings for him. So far, he has mentioned that he missed me twice. My question is, how does South Korean guy actually go about liking/wooing a girl as I’ve read that Korean guys like to keep things hush. He always reply whenever I initiate the chattings, but I wonder if South Korean guys are apprehensive about taking initiative with other Asian girls? Do I continue waiting, taking initiative, ask him directly (will it scare him off), or just let it die down? I’ll be looking forward to any comments.

Don’t let it die down! You have nothing to lose and much to gain. :D

My suggestion is that you forget he is South Korean guy and just focus on him personally. I did the same mistake, I was trying to behave the way I thought a South Korean man might find appropriate and, boy, was I wrong.

Kimchi Man and I met online, and messaged and chatted every day. He seemed to have nice opinion about me, but other than that I had no idea how he felt about me. At the same time, I was getting more and more crazy about him. He became a close friend and keeping my true feelings seemed like lying. One day, I just couldn’t take it anymore and I told him I fell in love with him. I was as blunt and non-hush as it gets. It took him approximately an hour of further chatting to tell me he feels the same. That was the most difficult hour of my life, and I have been through some rough things. :)

However, even though he said he loves me too, over the next few weeks he seemed cold towards me. Polite, kind and nice, sure, but without any show of emotions. I began to doubt his feelings. I told him I can’t wait any longer and if our relationship is to continue, we need to meet face to face. It didn’t take him long and from the moment he decided to come to visit me, he has been the most loving, passionate boyfriend I could imagine. He completely changed his behavior. I guess falling for someone who lives far away can be a bit intimidating so it takes time to sort out plans and thoughts. If I understood correctly, you are not in Korea right now.

The reason I told you all this is because I wanted you to see that I was very much pushing him and definitely taking the initiative every time. And it worked wonderfully for me. He told me later he really enjoyed that I was so honest and not trying to play games and hide things from him. However, I believe this depends much more on the Korean guy’s personality (and also whether he had a girlfriend before or not) than his nationality or what courtship in Korea is like.

Since your guy seems to enjoy chatting with you and told you he misses you don’t hold back on initiating chat. You can’t know if he’s not contacting you because he doesn’t care too much or if he is showing you he cares so much that he puts your needs before his. (Kimchi Man would definitely think that letting me talk to him only when it’s convenient for me is very romantic.)

I suggest you chat with him as much as you want and see where things go from there. Showing how much you like talking to him might encourage him to make the first move, and if not, then you can at least get to know him better.

Since it has been only 2 months I would wait a bit longer before confessing to your Korean guy anything directly, but do let him know which of his traits you find appealing. Don’t be shy to give him a compliment. It is easier to show other person you like them when it feels like they like you too.

And I bit of Kimchi Man’s wisdom: When we talked about the day I told him I love him, I mentioned how scared I was of ruining our friendship. He said that everyone likes being liked, and there is no reason for stopping a friendship with someone who makes you feel good about yourself.

If you think there is still something we haven’t explained or wondering how can you know if _he_ likes _you_, feel free to ask in the comments. Have a nice day everyone!

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58 responses to “[Q&A] How does South Korean guy court girls?”

Anonymous

June 18, 2023

Hii i met a Korean guy in Khaosan and well we hooked up but then he was actually very sweet and wanted to meet, but unfortunately we couldn’t meet and i had to come back from my vacation ( to my country) we exchanged line IDs and he talks to me but well very slow. I initiate the conversation mostly but he replies eventually.
I asked him if he is interested in me or not he said yes. So do i continue to text him and get to know him before we meet again which won’t be possible immediate but i don’t know.

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Tepps

December 20, 2017

Hi! I met this guy during our training/class sessions. During our last day of training, I helped him with something then took pictures together with his friend after. I added him on social media for me to get our pictures. We chatted and he told me he wants to meet me again and again. I didn’t know that I would like him somehow. But now, It’s hard for him to reply to my messages ever since he came back to Korea. He told me he likes me coz I’m kind. Should I believe him?? He also notified me that his gonna be busy especially he’s going to take his license exam. But I’m craving for his attention. T.T What should I do??
Am I just being paranoid? Should I stop chatting him so I won’t get my hopes up?

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Kikiah

July 15, 2017

Hi there,
I met this korean pen pal online, we talked and later he told me he was on a university exchange in finland where I live. He wanted to meet. We are meeting in august and I have known him for atleast 2 months. The thing is I am starting to like him. I don’t know how he feels about me wig his tekst. Hen told me twice that when we meet he would pay for food. Does that mean anything? Also I always start the conversation. But he happily replies he always does and if he replies late he apologises.He sends me alot of emoji does that mean anything? Or is that how he is?

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dayah

March 13, 2016

hello, can you help me my situation? i meet a korean guy used apps. he add me by sns. we talk each other when using apps to ask anything. he ask my culture too also. after that he say that he want to meet me in my country or i go to south korean. but i say i was busy and after that he stop text me for one week. is he angry or he is busy?

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Pearchoco57

March 24, 2015

I guess Oegukeen’s post already can give some clues about Korean boys when showing interest.
But well everyone can have different experiences. While some would say a Korean guy takes forever to show interest or is very quiet about it, my Korean boyfriend (met online) was very quick and straightforward.
After like 3 weeks of talking, I guess we both felt a strong attraction to eachother since we could talk about so much and we basically have the same mind and vision of things. Well.
At that time, he straightforwardly asked me if i liked him. He was scared of confessing first and that i reject him, he said later….hahaha.
Then, 2 days later, he said he needed confirmation and made official that we are girlfriend/boyfriend.
Before that, he was quite serious guy, maybe even a bit bit cold. After that, he became so open about his feelings and showed his love to me.

So everything to say: the rule “everyone is different” is really true. No matter if he is Korean or not. :)

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betxso

February 16, 2015

Hi! I met this korean guy online and we’ve been talking for 4 days and he told me he thinks of me as a sister because his sister is also my age. So I was like thinking ‘Oh.. Okay. So he doesn’t like me. I’ll just keep my feelings then.’

So the fourth night, we talked and talked then he suddenly said ‘So you like me huh?’ And I said ‘Nooo I only think of U as a bro.’ But he said ‘Be honest man. You like me or nah?’ Then I said ‘I really do think of you as a brother! Like really!’ I said that cause I was afraid that we might not talk to each other or be awkward afterwards. Then I told him ‘Goodnight. I can’t wait for ur reply anymore lol.’

After that he never replied and I didnt too cause I feel so clingy cause I’m always the one who’s starting the conversation. It’s almost been a month now since we last talked. I really like him! He’s so unique from the other guys that I’ve talked to. Btw, he has a gf even tho he doesn’t like her. He said that the girl asked him and begged for him to be his boyfriend. So he doesn’t love her.

So should I talk to him or wait for him to reply? I’m really confused! I don’t know what to do. Oh and this is on kakao talk. You know how you have a status? So I kept on changing mine and he kept on changing his. So this is what happened:

My status: Y is it so difficult?

His status: I won’t let you go (something like that)

My status: He’s a monster.

His status: She knows what time it is.

His status again: with her.

My status: No substitute.

His status: Stop looking into my status.

My status: Is life too short to wait?

His status: Cute haha

His status again: Why is der so many people in the skate park tho?

His status again: l o l twerk on me yeah? MAYA!!!

My status: Stupid homework -_-

His status: flu -_- why? F*ck.

My status: I feel like a pig these days… A quiet one x_x

His status: Stop calling me.

Help me guys! I don’t wanna keep my hopes up that his status is about me :( that will really hurt! Thanks in advance tho~

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