[Q&A] How does South Korean guy court girls?

How do South Korean guys court girls and womenSunny asked:

Hi, I met this South Korean guy 2 months ago in Seoul. We are from different countries. We have been keeping in touch, mostly initiated by me. I don’t dare to initiate many chatting sessions online for fear of being too straight forward in my likings for him. So far, he has mentioned that he missed me twice. My question is, how does South Korean guy actually go about liking/wooing a girl as I’ve read that Korean guys like to keep things hush. He always reply whenever I initiate the chattings, but I wonder if South Korean guys are apprehensive about taking initiative with other Asian girls? Do I continue waiting, taking initiative, ask him directly (will it scare him off), or just let it die down? I’ll be looking forward to any comments.

Don’t let it die down! You have nothing to lose and much to gain. :D

My suggestion is that you forget he is South Korean guy and just focus on him personally. I did the same mistake, I was trying to behave the way I thought a South Korean man might find appropriate and, boy, was I wrong.

Kimchi Man and I met online, and messaged and chatted every day. He seemed to have nice opinion about me, but other than that I had no idea how he felt about me. At the same time, I was getting more and more crazy about him. He became a close friend and keeping my true feelings seemed like lying. One day, I just couldn’t take it anymore and I told him I fell in love with him. I was as blunt and non-hush as it gets. It took him approximately an hour of further chatting to tell me he feels the same. That was the most difficult hour of my life, and I have been through some rough things. :)

However, even though he said he loves me too, over the next few weeks he seemed cold towards me. Polite, kind and nice, sure, but without any show of emotions. I began to doubt his feelings. I told him I can’t wait any longer and if our relationship is to continue, we need to meet face to face. It didn’t take him long and from the moment he decided to come to visit me, he has been the most loving, passionate boyfriend I could imagine. He completely changed his behavior. I guess falling for someone who lives far away can be a bit intimidating so it takes time to sort out plans and thoughts. If I understood correctly, you are not in Korea right now.

The reason I told you all this is because I wanted you to see that I was very much pushing him and definitely taking the initiative every time. And it worked wonderfully for me. He told me later he really enjoyed that I was so honest and not trying to play games and hide things from him. However, I believe this depends much more on the Korean guy’s personality (and also whether he had a girlfriend before or not) than his nationality or what courtship in Korea is like.

Since your guy seems to enjoy chatting with you and told you he misses you don’t hold back on initiating chat. You can’t know if he’s not contacting you because he doesn’t care too much or if he is showing you he cares so much that he puts your needs before his. (Kimchi Man would definitely think that letting me talk to him only when it’s convenient for me is very romantic.)

I suggest you chat with him as much as you want and see where things go from there. Showing how much you like talking to him might encourage him to make the first move, and if not, then you can at least get to know him better.

Since it has been only 2 months I would wait a bit longer before confessing to your Korean guy anything directly, but do let him know which of his traits you find appealing. Don’t be shy to give him a compliment. It is easier to show other person you like them when it feels like they like you too.

And I bit of Kimchi Man’s wisdom: When we talked about the day I told him I love him, I mentioned how scared I was of ruining our friendship. He said that everyone likes being liked, and there is no reason for stopping a friendship with someone who makes you feel good about yourself.

If you think there is still something we haven’t explained or wondering how can you know if _he_ likes _you_, feel free to ask in the comments. Have a nice day everyone!

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How to get a Korean guy to like you How to know if a Korean guy likes you What do Korean guys like in girls
How to get a Korean guy to like you How to KNOW if a Korean guy likes you [Q&A] Do Korean guys go over-the-top on dates?
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57 thoughts on “[Q&A] How does South Korean guy court girls?

  1. I have one quick question that I hope I could get an answer….
    I had known this Korean guy for over a year through my best friend; however, we didn’t talk to each other until three months ago. A year ago, my best friend told me that I shouldn’t look forward to do anything with him because he was on and off with his girlfriend at that time (even though all I said to my best friend was that he was cute). I didn’t know what to say so I let it go, just another silly crush feeling. Six months ago, we started chatting occasionally. I invited him to some of my events but he couldn’t show up; however, he always explained why he couldn’t come. I let it go because I thought it was just a friend thing.
    After our final exam at the university we studied together, he started texting me out of the blue so we had been talking since then. We talked almost every single day, mostly about school, summer activities and so on. We decided to go to the movie once and that was only two of us. Honestly, it was awkward because we didn’t really talk much.
    He told me once that he didn’t like cupcakes; however, when I gave him my sweet goodie, he always ate it despite the fact that the didn’t really like sweet things.
    Anyway, I and my friends went out to karaoke several times and every single time I asked him to hang out, he always showed up. It was the last minute to be honest. There were some instances that I asked him to come to chill with me at some cafe places, and he always came. He drove all the way from his house to hang out with me for few mins. Anyway, my point is that he will make some time to see me if I ask and if I am alone. His explanation was always that he came to visit me or me and my friends because he missed us all. I was a bit disappointed because I was hoping he said he missed me or something but I guess I expected too much.
    I am always the one who initiate first. I texted him first, I asked him to hang out, I was always the one who waited for his text and be so happy about it.
    My question is that:
    Should I say something to him? Should I let him know about my feelings or just wait for him to make the move?
    The thing is that he once told me that he would not say anything to the girl he likes simply because he afraid of the rejection (who wouldn’t be).
    What should I do?
    Thank you for reading

  2. I knew a kimchi guy since January on a penpal site and we met for a day during my trip to Seoul in July. Well, just act like normal friends and actually I do have some feeling towards him, and I have sent him a postcard and after a month sent another letter which contained our photos taken during my trip. He was so thankful and asked me to give him my address, cuz he wanna send me a letter too. (well, not reaching main point.. hahaha sorry).
    Due to some reasons, I need to study abroad to UK and need to stay for a year to complete my final year. He knew about that, and he told me that he cancelled the plan that he wanted to visit to Japan and save money to visit me in the UK, I asked him to visit me when I am back to country, so that it will cost cheaper and UK is really expensive (for both of us). But seemed like he insist and he asked me to search somewhere to let him to stay. And he planned to stay for 3 months in the UK. He even took some airport officer tests and hope that to stay in my country after he has passed the test and got the job in my country.
    After I came to UK, the frequency that I phoned or talk on phone is more than the times I talk with my parents (surprisingly…hahaha). I cant sure how he feel about me, and he will just kept praising me that I am cute smart etc etc, and he told me that he has no gf for almost 2 years. Yesterday he indirectly hint me that he was sad cause most of his friends are having a girlfriend. And the conversation was quite awkward as I don’t know what response should I give, was wondering should I confess. After that, I can’t bear with it, and confess to him that I like him more than friends.
    Well, he said he felt the same and that’s the reason he wanna pay me a visit in the uk. After that he called me and we chat… after some sweet talk, he said he misses me. Then conversation ended.

    Well, today he seemed cold to me. I am not sure what happened, is he worrying something or what? Because of the time zone, his part time job and sometimes language barrier (he is not good in English), our phone conversation is a bit slow, but of course I enjoy talk to him. I am not sure whether is the right time to ask all these questions because I scared will ruin everything. Hmm…

    Ah, actually I am not sure the point of writing this, but I am quite afraid to lose him. =/

  3. I’m Malaysian Chinese girl and I known a korean guy thru couch surfing and we met at the cafe last April. Basically we just chatting like normal and one thing I dun really like is that he really smoked a lot, like one time in very half hour. But still we still keep in touch thru kakao talk.
    And then last month I went to Korea and spent 2nights at his place. He treated me very well and I found out that he bought a bed mattress warmer recently because I found the box it was bought 1week before I came as I mentioned before I scared of cold lol. He slept on the floor and I slept on the bed which made me felt guilty :( then in the car when he fetched me to the city, we talked a lot. He mentioned many korean girls he met none of them qualified to be his wife. So I asked him which nationality he prefers, he said maybe Malaysian, Singaporean, Vietnamese etc lol. He mentioned several times he wants to stay in foreign countries so he keep learning English and Chinese. It’s called TOEIC?
    Then this time when I met him I realized that he doesn’t smoke anymore so i asked him have u quit smoking he said yes and since when? He said “after meeting you”. He started smoking at age 11 is it easy for him to stop smoking just because I advised him to? What does that means? Are all korean guys treat the girls or he just being a good host? Can none enlighten me?

  4. Hi! I met this korean guy online and we’ve been talking for 4 days and he told me he thinks of me as a sister because his sister is also my age. So I was like thinking ‘Oh.. Okay. So he doesn’t like me. I’ll just keep my feelings then.’

    So the fourth night, we talked and talked then he suddenly said ‘So you like me huh?’ And I said ‘Nooo I only think of U as a bro.’ But he said ‘Be honest man. You like me or nah?’ Then I said ‘I really do think of you as a brother! Like really!’ I said that cause I was afraid that we might not talk to each other or be awkward afterwards. Then I told him ‘Goodnight. I can’t wait for ur reply anymore lol.’

    After that he never replied and I didnt too cause I feel so clingy cause I’m always the one who’s starting the conversation. It’s almost been a month now since we last talked. I really like him! He’s so unique from the other guys that I’ve talked to. Btw, he has a gf even tho he doesn’t like her. He said that the girl asked him and begged for him to be his boyfriend. So he doesn’t love her.

    So should I talk to him or wait for him to reply? I’m really confused! I don’t know what to do. Oh and this is on kakao talk. You know how you have a status? So I kept on changing mine and he kept on changing his. So this is what happened:

    My status: Y is it so difficult?

    His status: I won’t let you go (something like that)

    My status: He’s a monster.

    His status: She knows what time it is.

    His status again: with her.

    My status: No substitute.

    His status: Stop looking into my status.

    My status: Is life too short to wait?

    His status: Cute haha

    His status again: Why is der so many people in the skate park tho?

    His status again: l o l twerk on me yeah? MAYA!!!

    My status: Stupid homework -_-

    His status: flu -_- why? F*ck.

    My status: I feel like a pig these days… A quiet one x_x

    His status: Stop calling me.

    Help me guys! I don’t wanna keep my hopes up that his status is about me :( that will really hurt! Thanks in advance tho~

  5. I guess Oegukeen’s post already can give some clues about Korean boys when showing interest.
    But well everyone can have different experiences. While some would say a Korean guy takes forever to show interest or is very quiet about it, my Korean boyfriend (met online) was very quick and straightforward.
    After like 3 weeks of talking, I guess we both felt a strong attraction to eachother since we could talk about so much and we basically have the same mind and vision of things. Well.
    At that time, he straightforwardly asked me if i liked him. He was scared of confessing first and that i reject him, he said later….hahaha.
    Then, 2 days later, he said he needed confirmation and made official that we are girlfriend/boyfriend.
    Before that, he was quite serious guy, maybe even a bit bit cold. After that, he became so open about his feelings and showed his love to me.

    So everything to say: the rule “everyone is different” is really true. No matter if he is Korean or not. :)

  6. hello, can you help me my situation? i meet a korean guy used apps. he add me by sns. we talk each other when using apps to ask anything. he ask my culture too also. after that he say that he want to meet me in my country or i go to south korean. but i say i was busy and after that he stop text me for one week. is he angry or he is busy?

  7. Hi there,
    I met this korean pen pal online, we talked and later he told me he was on a university exchange in finland where I live. He wanted to meet. We are meeting in august and I have known him for atleast 2 months. The thing is I am starting to like him. I don’t know how he feels about me wig his tekst. Hen told me twice that when we meet he would pay for food. Does that mean anything? Also I always start the conversation. But he happily replies he always does and if he replies late he apologises.He sends me alot of emoji does that mean anything? Or is that how he is?

  8. Hi! I met this guy during our training/class sessions. During our last day of training, I helped him with something then took pictures together with his friend after. I added him on social media for me to get our pictures. We chatted and he told me he wants to meet me again and again. I didn’t know that I would like him somehow. But now, It’s hard for him to reply to my messages ever since he came back to Korea. He told me he likes me coz I’m kind. Should I believe him?? He also notified me that his gonna be busy especially he’s going to take his license exam. But I’m craving for his attention. T.T What should I do??
    Am I just being paranoid? Should I stop chatting him so I won’t get my hopes up?

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