[Q&A] Do Korean men like black women?

Anonymous asked:

Are Korean Men attracted to African American Women?

First of all, as much as it is becoming a cliché, I think we can all agree each Korean man is unique and has unique taste in dating partners.

Also, what does it even mean to be attracted to African American women? Does it mean being attracted to EVERY African American woman? Does it mean being attracted to African American women MORE than women of other races? Or does it mean even being CAPABLE of being attracted to an African American woman? And what about black women who are not American?

Korean men black womenI know some may not be satisfied with my seeming lack of answer. They will move back to searching with Google. Those pessimistic will stop when they reach an answer that claims Korean men are racist and say: “Aha, I knew it!” Those desperate for hope will find a success story and be content with knowing it can happen to them too.

You can search for the answer all you want, but the only truth is that there is no answer. And by that I don’t mean I don’t know the answer, I mean there really is none.

But I have a question for you now: Are tall European women attracted to shorter Asian men?

If Kimchi Man asked himself that, he would probably be discouraged and he wouldn’t waste his time with me.

Another question: Are men attracted to women who have larger feet than them?

Once again, if I let that stop me, I wouldn’t have experienced the magic of love.

Love can happen between any two people, and it has happened between Korean men and African American women; even though I’m sure there are some racist people in Korea who wouldn’t date a person of another race (in my experience there are too many racist people in every country).

As for the race issue, it also matters how you meet the guy. Kimchi Man and I first connected on an intellectual level: we discussed for a long time our opinions about taxation systems, education, military service, and shared our love for games and TV shows. Experiencing someone in such a way makes it much more likely to be able to look beyond the surface than if you pick a guy up in a bar or on the street.

I think there is nothing wrong with choosing a man because he is Korean, but if you go around looking for a dating prospect based on who he was born to be, instead of who he grew up to be, you can’t blame anyone but yourself if you end up only meeting men who do the same.





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50 thoughts on “[Q&A] Do Korean men like black women?

  1. Completely agree with what you said about being pessimistic or optimistic. It’s easy for some people to just make big general statements like “Korean guys only like girls like this.” But of course every guy has different tastes and people often change their tastes depending on who they meet, they aren’t set in stone.

    I know a Korean guy who has an African American girlfriend. In reality it really comes down to the individual’s personality.

  2. Hi. I was wondering…How can I explain to my Korean BF to not be so affectionate in public without hurting his feelings? I recently started seeing this Korean guy, and he’s very sweet and such. The only problem is hes VERY affectionate in PUBLIC. Not like holding hands, but kissing my cheek, cuddling me, kissing me, etc. I personally would rather show affection in private, and in my backround its considered rude to show affection like that. (Cause no one would really like to see a couple acting like that next to them or in the same room…) What I mean is its uncomfortable to be talking to friends and having him constantly hug me and kiss me out of the blue infront of everyone. I appreciate the affection, but it gets uncomfortable with everyone staring at you. He’s sensitive and I want to find a way to tell him without hurting his feelings. Help? Thank you!!

    • I find your problem quite unusual as public displays of affection are a big no-no in Korea. Is he really Korean?

      I myself don’t know how to criticize someone without hurting their feelings. I guess all you can do is attempt to explain to him that it has nothing to do with him personally but that it’s just your preference not to do it where other people can see.

      I also think you should concentrate on how it makes you feel, not how you think it makes people around you feel. You don’t really know how other people feel, and it makes it sound like you think what he is doing is wrong. It’s not wrong, just different that what you’ve been taught is polite.

      On the other hand, if he is interrupting you with kisses while you are talking to your friends, that is just inconsiderate, and not a personal preference.

      • I think it is slowly changing because the younger generation is “rebelling” against that. There were enough couples displaying affection for me to notice, although not the majority of couples. Thats probably why he does this so naturally. The younger generation is less rigid. That said, I love your advice.

  3. I want to know:
    I’ve seen answers for Europeans,African Americans,and others.what about if you’re pure black?would a Korean date a pure black?your answers are really helpful indeed,oegukeen.muchos love!

    • I’m not sure what you mean by pure black, but anyway, answer is always the same: Of course there are people in South Korea who would date someone of a certain race.

    • Um….”pure black”? There is no such thing, love. We are all one and the same with diverse personalities. It shouldn’t matter your ethnic, but how attractive you, as a person in likeness, are.

      This is a personal example but long ago, there was this boy in my bio class. I didn’t know him and didn’t make an effort to talk to him. Well anyway, we were paired together with one other person for a group project. That’s when I started to interact with him. I grew fond of him and liked to bully him with slay comments because I liked his reaction. He took no offense because he knew I was only kidding with him. Apparently, he developed a crush on me but I didn’t know until his friend told him. When asked why, he said it was the way I acted personality wise. It was that of a playful child and how I’m always smiling and being silly.

      Point is he wasn’t looking at my skin or appearance but my personality.

      To ask such a question would be showing your self-consciousness. Your origin shouldn’t matter.

  4. So well said! I am happy you didn’t give an answer, because who we fall in love with is not defined by race, although we may be attracted to a certain race or color of skin!^^ I hope every person can learn to follow their heart and find their own answer to love. It takes so much courage! Thanks for sharing such a nice post and such a nice message for black girls~
    (I love what you said about Google! ㅋㅋ So true!)

    • Thanks!

      Honestly, even after you spend just a few hours with someone it’s impossible to notice someone’s race. First time I met my boyfriend I was mesmerized by his skin, and eye shape, and his hair, but 2 days later he just looked like my boyfriend. I don’t know if I’m explaining this well, but I just guess I connect his features with him as a person, not with his race.

      That’s just one more reason why I’m 100% sure race doesn’t matter in a relationship, even if you start out with having a preference for certain look.

      • No, you explained well– explained perfectly. And, I know what you mean. When I first met my ex, after a few hours he was no longer “Korean” (even though he barely spoke English). He was just MINE– my friend, my lover, my namja. I was too busy loving him to and seeing him as he was, which was so much more than his race.

        I think it is almost a shame to only see someone for their race, because we are all so much more than that!^^


  5. I actually really agree with this. Lol I felt personally attacked because what you said resonated with me and I have in fact done the things you said we shouldn’t XD I’ve heard many black women say that it just depends on the guy and of course they can be attracted to black women. I think I have a limited view because my opinion has been based off of my interactions with Korean men and it seems like they only date white and Asian women in general. I don’t like to make generalized statements but that’s really all I have to work with. Thank you for sharing your insight. It really does help. I guess I need to change the way I think ^_^

    • It’s really difficult not to make generalized statements. Generalized statements are what kept us alive when we all lived on the planes of Africa. But every human culture and society on Earth has come a long way since then and we should rise up to embrace the intercultural world. Luckily, we live at the time when it’s not just about surviving any more :)

  6. I am African American and recently met a sweet Korean guy while on vacation in Seoul; and although I am back in the states, we still keep in touch. In my experience, Koreans in America only date white and or Asian women and the Koreans in Korea are “open” to all races as they see them more as “foreigners” as opposed to Black/White American, Viet, etc. (Not all, some will just stick to Koreans only). A lot of Korean men are attracted to black women, but like any other man, may be just out to sample your foreign goodies so watch out for those. ^^ Our bodies are more say, “voluptuous” than the average Korean girl so many Korean men are interested in knowing you sexually. Lot’s of stories out on the internet about it (foreign girl in general). To counter that though, just don’t give them “any.” If he is the least bit interested otherwise, he will court you properly (I experienced this personally).

    • Yeah, it is quite possible that Koreans outside of Korea feel more threatened and as such more protective of their “Koreanness”.

      I also agree with your aproach as to seeing if the guy is serious. But then again, I can see the case in which a woman only wants to sample the goods of Korean man as well ^^

      • I agree that it’s an issue of protecting their “Koreanness” if they stick to only Koreans, but if they only date white and no other race (speaking strictly of those Koreans in America) then there are likely some elements of racism there (not knocking anyone’s perceived preferences). And, I have seen instances firsthand where a Korean man was interested in a non-white/non-Asian woman and was discouraged by his Asian/white friends (usually women) from going that route (via taunting). So, peer pressure, I think more than anything in America, prevents some K men (or maybe Asian men in general) from pursuing races other than white or Asian, although not in all cases of course. And, unfortunately, many of them do not have the wherewithal to buck the system. And I admit, it can be hard. Believe it or not, I get taunted for liking Korean men by most dudes here in the US (including black, white, Hispanic and Pakistani), and it really sucks. The women just think I’m weird and “obsessed” with Korean culture because I study the language and watch K-dramas.

        Yes, I’m sure there are many women out there looking for a sample of Korean manliness, however, I am not a one stand kind of girl, and since I really liked this guy (though it was tempting), did not want him to see me as a slut or whore (although we did enjoy a kiss at noraebang, haha). Men still think that way, although they will say they don’t just to get into your pants. I’m not sure he would still be in contact with me to this day if I had slept with him, especially since we are thousands of miles apart.

  7. Thats the best answer Ive ever read on this subject. There has been no less than 3 korean guys who have shown me affection when I was in Seoul, and Im not even a “cover girl”. I find korean guys from Korea to be more open minded than koreans from western countries, partly because they are curious about the unknown, they just have no idea how to approach us. They are stressing just as much as we do. Also keep in mind, korean men must deal with the “not as masculine as other men” stereotype even in Asia (although less extreme than in the West). Im stating this because they also tend to think foreign women dont like them. So many are discouraged, hence approaching us less. They are afraid of rejection from foreign women. Keep that in mind.You may have to have to tell them you find them attractive.

    • Wow! Thank you, that’s a big compliment.

      Yeah, in my case I made all the first moves because my boyfriend is very timid and shy. I don’t regret it for a second :)

  8. Oh yeah! I made all first move taking your hand n rubbing it,also staring n smiling up a storm @ handsome!:-) :-) :-) .i love you and i thank jesus for you always,mary

  9. If you have lived in Korea you will know that almost 90% of Koreans think alike and are conformists. Given that, you can be sure that the general opinion on black women will be the opinion that 90% of men will have. The general opinion is not favorable at all, like seriously, black women are probably considered the least attractive women in the world from an Asian perspective.

  10. Korean men find most black african women more attractive than korean women.due to their pride,timidity,and lack of courage they won,t open up rather they would prefer to harbor dat pain inside their heart.most korean men are afraid of what the rebels wil say about them. Koreans is time to change and stop pretending .u cant aproach a black woman that easy because they are courageous, inteligent,enlighthen, they always make the first move.i admire blacks & their hair texture. U asians especially korea is time to wake from ur sick bed & meet some one u love wether black,hispanic,white etc be thrutful to ur cocience.

    • Most Korean men prefer Korean women. If they are open to dating others, it is usually other Asians or whites. It is rare for a Korean man to be attracted to a black woman.

      • Most [insert country name] men prefer [insert same country name] women.

        When have you EVER heard of people of a certain nation dating more foreigners than people who actually are closest to them culturally and simply physically?

        It is true that Black/Asian relationships are some of the rarest pairings. But don’t forget, statistics are important for dealing with societal issues and predicting trends. It helps us zero in on the problem at large and try to fix it. It would certainly be great to live in the world some day where race does not at all influence who falls in love with whom. And knowing the statistics is the first step in solving that problem.

        However, statistics are completely irrelevant to an individual. There is no such thing as an average Korean man, just as there is not such thing as an average Black woman.

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