One of our readers is wondering do Korean guys only like Korean girls, and do they, after dating other women, always go back to them. Here is the question and our answer:
Anonymous asked:
Hi! I am an Asian-American high-schooler, and I’m a bit confused right now with a crush and a relationship. I had a Korean boyfriend of two years and was mistreated by him because I lied a small white lie and he took it to heart. He would be cold to me and be most bi-polar around me. One day, he’ll be who he was (charming, open and friendly) and the next he’ll be really harsh. We broke up two days ago but are still going through some complications. Well, I stopped hanging out with him last week and met an absolutely amazing Korean guy through a close friend, who came from Korea 4 years ago. After talking to him for a while, I started to feel attracted, but his friend tells me he prefers Korean girls. The third time we were around each other, I was talking to a friend and when I looked over, he looked up and we caught eye contact for several seconds, and a smile came onto his face halfway through, which got me curious. My close friend says he MAY be interested but that he is still a Korean and all. The Korean guy in question did tell me that most Korean males tend to go back to Korean females in the end, which broke my hope a little.
I do have hope that he may become more interested in me, but I feel so awkward around him! On Facebook, we talk for hours but when we see each other, it’s awkward. We talk about so many things, and he told me that I wasn’t like other girls and am very thoughtful and kind. He prefers Korean girls but says that they are very dramatic and expecting of their boyfriends a few moments later. I feel like I’m beginning to be attracted to him and I don’t understand how I fell so fast. He seems too ideal, smart, cute and extremely shy;. He knows my situation with my ex (who I loved dearly) and thinks, like everyone else does, that it isn’t a good relationship to be in. Unlike my ex, he doesn’t mind that I love Korean culture and even teaches me Korean at lunch breaks. He comforts me and makes sincere comments when we have more serious discussions, such as demanding girlfriends and how I think it’s very ridiculous how many Korean girls demand expensive gifts. He’s the polar opposite of my ex and seems like such an awesome guy. I can’t stop thinking about him, and I don’t understand at all. Do you think that even if he prefers Korean girls, he will still be able to see me in a different light?
He told me he likes his best girl-friend, but she isn’t interested, so that gave me a little hope. I invited him to a movie tomorrow, and somehow, I feel like he’s disinterested at one moment and interested the next. My mom is driving a few of us, and when I offered him a ride since he didn’t have one, he quickly refused. ._. I don’t understand at all. He’s so sweet with me and I’m positive that he’s a very nice, sincere guy. Do you think he might have a small push of feeling at me?
(Editing note: We cut out the chat between Anonymous and her Korean guy for brevity. If you are interested, you can find it in ASK US 2012 archived comments.)
Korean guy is still a guy and if he can be attracted to a Korean woman he can be attracted to any woman. On the other hand, I can not think of any nation that gets in a relationship more with other nationalities than its own. It is understandable, since people within same nation share language, culture and are simply around each other more.
That does not mean that people don’t date and marry outside their nationality. Some are more open to it, some not at all. Which category your guy falls into you will have to find out on your own, it’s not enough to know he is Korean.
Since I am in a serious relationship with a Korean man and he did not end up with a Korean woman, how could I possibly say that Korean men don’t date foreign women seriously? Of course I think it is possible for him to see you, as you put it: in a different light, and which I take means: as a possible relationship material.
Since he spends so much time letting you know of the faults of your other dating prospects (your ex-boyfriend) and you are doing your best to let him know of the faults of his other dating prospects (Korean girls) I would say you both seem quite eager on getting the other one to see you in that light.
– Oegukeen
Readers, what are your experiences? Do Korean guys always end up back with Korean girls?
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Loving Korean | Boyfriend in Korea 
Thank you so much for the answer :) It’s much appreciated, and I’m happy to see your thoughts on it!
You are very welcome and we are glad you liked it. :D
Oh, and we forgot to mention in the post that he probably refused the ride because your mom was driving. Wouldn’t that make you feel shy as well? :)
It kind of would have! Thing is, at this point, I’ve given up ._. He has a girlfriend now and so does my ex, who I still seriously love to death. So confused >_<
Don’t stress yourself too much. A guy is a guy regardless of his nationality. Every guy is different. I think you may have a chance with him. You both seem to have open communication which is a plus.
Take it from me, I’ve been dating this Korean guy for several months now and he is very sweet. I’m Cambodian, born and raised here in the US, more westernized, I speak my mind, etc. and he still accepts me for who I am. I initiated it first and he willingly accepted:) He told me though that I do act more like a guy (not lovely, romantic,..) but he still likes me anyway. He doesn’t care about the color of my skin (rumor has it Korean guys like white, pale skin) and I’m pretty tan.
We’ve already talked about our future and we decided if we’re still together for 2 years that there’s a possibility we may be married. He’s very open about everything, non-judgemental, caring, funny, respectful, and honest. However, he is very traditional but I respect that. What more could I ask for? lol..
So what I’m trying to say is, go get him!! You never know unless you do it. Good luck!
Weclome to our community! Thank you for leaving a comment, this is good advice.
I am glad you had positive experience and shared it with us.
I’ve repeated many times in the posts that there is nothing wrong with the woman making the first move and you are one more proof that it can lead to a happy ending. :)
I once dated a Korean guy who told me during the breakup “I will never date a foreign girl again” which really hurt. He made me feel like I was such a terrible girlfriend but in hindsight he was really just a bit of a whiny idiot. I then kinda casually dated a very nice Korean guy but our relationship came to an end when he had to return to Korea and we weren’t serious enough to think about the future that much. But we parted on good terms and he told me he would prefer to date Western girls in the future and not Korean girls because he had such a good time with me.
Then finally I met my husband who loved me from the first moment he met me. I now know of so many other women from countries like Australia, Canada, U.S. etc who have Korean husbands so I don’t think anyone can say that all Korean guys only want Korean girls.
So I met a Korean guy that ended up not wanting Western girls, a Korean guy who preferred Western girls, and then finally my husband, a Korean guy that loves me no matter what. That’s the key to finding a good relationship- the right person for you, no matter where you are both from.
You said that so nicely. I’m glad you told your story because I’ve only had experience with one Korean guy, so even though I know they are all different, sometimes I don’t have an example to back it up with.
Hi, I’m a real kimchiman, I never eat kimchi though. I want to say that Thank you for having interests in Korea. I wish that Korea doesn’t hurt you.
I have read most of articles that you wrote and I am so impressed by your points of view.
Although I’m still struggling with language barrier, when I get some times, I want to share my opinion as a Korean. Oegukenn, You seem to be more korean that any other korean. ^^
Hello real kimchiman :)
Thank you for caring about me. Korea is fascinating country so it is no wonder I have interest in it.
Thank you so much for reading most of the articles. There are many, it must have been hard work. I am honored.
I’m really sorry that I still don’t speak Korean so you have to struggle with English. I am really interested in your opinion.
Should I say ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ ^^
Hello! American here! I’m Mediterranean-French, but look white. I adore Korea, and just wanted to thank you for giving me hope! Extremely curious at what the end result was for the girl who asked this question. I hope she had a good ending. Thank you. c:
I can understand, Im a white female, and my boyfriend is korean. He often talks about how korean women are the hottest, and it is a bit unsettling seeing as im white and all. He even says stuff like “That haircut makes you look more asian”
ah well, atleast hes cute~