Loving Korean

324 responses to “[Q&A] How to know if a Korean guy likes you?”

1. 

   paradise

   September 15, 2013

   i am from indonesia,so i met this guy on game online.hahaha.its international game,well its rare to meet a korean on this game,so he cannot really good in english,but he lives on small country in usa,and i asked him his facebook,and he sent wall to me that i was so beautiful and etc,and i asked his kakaotalk,and we chat everyday,im confused.because its been 2days since we chat and he already said i love you?i just laugh at him (well we chat all day,from i waking up until he goin to sleep,we have 12hours diffrent timezone),he said to me i love you,well im never dating boys,and im easily fall in love with someone..well its been 1 week and we chat everyday,he told me about his family,and he lives and work with his uncle in usa,and he said he really bored there,because there are no asian community,and all his employee is foreigner,and when he told me about his family,i know he is a loner,lonely,broken home,and because me either..we both loner and lonely,hahahaha,he said to be my his gf,when it just about 3days we chatted?and i said to him,we havent met yet,and he asked me if i was uncomfortable with that question,and if i was uncomofortable with him saying,i said to him,that i like him,it nice to have someone to chat and care with me,i said LOVE is not something easily to say,and we barely know each other,i said to him if i know him for 1month,,and i said im really burden if he said i love you,because i can’t say anything,he said to me that next year he will back to korea,and then he will come to indonesia to meet me,im really happy,but im worried too,isnt he too fast to like someone,by the way he is 32,and im 22,what im worried is,i dont want to dating someone i never meet,i want a real one TT,because i never date,i want to know if he serious or not with me,he really care with me,i read somewhere that korean guy doesnt like to be bother when he is working,but he is not,he likes chat to me,unless he really busy (many costumer came),he really sweet,eventhough he is quiet,because he can’t really speak english,he said it himself,that he is quiet,and not really in english,when he chat with me,sometimes he open google translator XD,ahhh and i wonder..i never kissed and never dating,i dont smoke and never goin to clubbing,and im scared if he just want to sleep with me when we meet,because i read online there is couple indonesia and korean broke up because the man want to sex.oh my god,im so scare hahaha.my tradition is never have sex until we married,hufff,and last time im kidding him,if he want to marry me,he said,when he come to indonesia,will i accept him? i asked him ,what he means,he means,will i accept him if he ask me to marry him,TT,oh my god,what do you think about him?is he really serious?ahh.

   Reply
   1. 

      oegukeen

      November 2, 2013

      He can’t be serious after 3 days! He doesn’t know you and you don’t know him. How could he be?

      Take it easy, get to know him.

      Reply
2. 

   confused @-@

   August 31, 2013

   Hey there!

   So, this guy && I use to go to jr high together, but we were never really close to begin with. I mean, we started talking in may but that was like 4 years ago. We don’t go to the same high school but we still live in the same city. I haven’t seen him since then until he asked to hang out back in Jan. I agreed to it, since I wanted to you know be friends with him. But what had happened on that “hang out” seemed like a date. He paid for dinner and wanted to go to places where we could just talk and catch up. At the time, I felt like I was the one initiating skinship in subtle ways to make him feel more comfortable around me. I didn’t really “feel” it with him then so I just stopped talking to him altogether.

   Then I decided what I did was wrong and wanted to patch my friendship up with him again && like 7 mo. Later asked him to hang out. I was really surprised at how our chemistry was still as strong as when we hung out back in Jan. He was doing most of the skinship this time. Like, when we were walking down the streets, our hands would accidentally touch, but I wouldn’t move it away not would he. We stared and smiled at each other a lot without saying anything. He also told me bluntly the things that I did that he didn’t like (I get flustered so sometimes I don’t look him in the eyes when I talk or say “never mind” when I think something is unimportant I guess.” He also told me I “confused him sometimes” and how he “knew my personality but not me as a person.” (I told him I was studious, don’t really party && what not.) I don’t know, I think we have a lot in common, but then again I don’t know of e thinks I’m only saying I like thigs bc he likes them. When I seriously do like the same things as him. I also noticed as strange people approached me or if I were about to step into a water puddle, he’d pull me towards him by the waist. Is that a sign? or was he just being polite?

   Also, is there a special meaning behind sharing drinks with someone of the opposite sex. Like he’d taken a sip out of his Starbucks and asked if I wanted to try his. && I acted nonchalant about it and took a sip while he watched me intently. Then I offered mine as well.

   Lets see, um we saw a movie together that same night at a movie theater. It was just us, and we cuddled obviously. Like everytime, I moved my head away bc he looked uncomfortable, he would use his hand to place my head back on his shoulder. We interlocked hands as well. Oh and during the movie he commented a lot on how soft my skin was (WTF?) && tickled me numerous times after finding out I was ticklish. (Why?) oh yeah, and he kept looking at me as if he wanted to kiss me. I noticed, but I resisted the temptation to give in. Is that wrong? (I wanted to kiss him too but I didn’t want to seem easy.) after the movie was over, it was only us two in that theater. I impulsively ran up behind him and back hugged him. I got flustered pretty quick as let go and ran ahead of him. And I hear him shout behind me “did you do that bc nobody was around?” I have him no response and before I knew it he too pulled me into a back hug. While we were at the movies he also asked if I ride roller coasters well and I told him about how I had planned on going to the amusement park nearby but none of my friends would go with me this summer && I was really upset about it. Then I suggested to him that we should go together and he quickly responded with “when” to which I stupidly replied “I don’t know. Soon.”

   It’s been three weeks and he still hasn’t texted me or anything yet. Part of me feels like he only agreed to Han out with me as a replacement for a girl he already has back in Korea or where we live (idk that made sense in my head). There were a lot of déjà vu moments. I felt like he was throwing what I did to him back in Jan, back in my face.

   I thought the evenin and night went pretty well. Except for when I ended the date, when I dropped him off at his house around midnight, he had his hand on the door but wouldn’t leave. He turns back to look at me, but me being awkward and an idiot, just smiled at him and said bye.

   I know I’m probably overthinking things, but I really like him. And I want to text him and call him and see how’s he soon and what not, but that seems super clingy and makes me seem needy. && I know guys probably like their space. So that’s why I haven’t tried contacting him at all. What’s funny is, when I was five minutes late picking him up, he called me an asked me where I was. Then later on when we were in the car he said something about how my voice caught him off guard and we should talk on the phone more often. Even though he said that, it hasn’t happened at all.

   What’s good is, I’ve just continued on with my life as I always have. I’m a senior in highschool this year so I have a lot on my plate. But every once in awhile he’d pop up in my mind. && it just makes me feel confused and a bit bitter. I don’t like this “love game” hwan playing with me. It’s either he likes me or he doesn’t. Ugh.

   Hope to hear from you soon! And thanks for taking the time to read. :)

   P.S. I’d just like to say that I don’t really know much about relationships because I’ve never been in one. After reminiscing that night I realized how much I’ve screwed up and wish I could have more do-overs.

   Oh yeah, I couldn’t help but notice how he kept petting my hair/head. WTF is with that anyway? It was a little weird for me. Since I’ve never had anyone do that to me before.

   I’m the type of person who likes to tease people a lot just to make the atmosphere lighter and more fun. && so while we were walking down the streets he had said something that I didn’t really agree to, and so he had said something and like turned towards the opposite direction of where I was wanted to go but stood there unmoved. But rather than giving in, I teased him by saying “okay, then have fun walkin home by yourself” and started walking off in the direction I was wanting to go. A few seconds later, he like grabbed my arm and was all “heeey.” and we just ended up going where I wanted to go. lol. Oh and he also asked me why I kept staring at his face without saying anything all the time and I told him “maybe I like staring at your face.” And he didn’t respond right away but said “me too.” To which I teased “wow, someone is self absorbed.” and like laughed and then he quickly denied it and said in a somewhat quiet voice, “no I like looking at your face.” Sometimes I think I’m a naturally flirty person and maybe he’s confused as to whether or not I treat every guy like I do to him? Because i’m starting to wonder if he treats all his “girl” friends like the way he treats me. Ugh. The cons of liking someone, overthinking.

   Reply
   1. 

      oegukeen

      November 1, 2013

      Grabbing your waist and acting protective is not something just a friend would do. Sharing drinks and food is just a friendly gesture in Korea. The rest is also more than just friends (resting your head on his shoulder etc.)

      I do think you’re overthinking it, no one should be so sensitive to get offended at the little teasing that you did.

      But 3 weeks does seem like a long time to not contact you. Maybe you should contact him first. Sending one message or giving one call once in three weeks is not clingy in any country of the world.

      Reply
3. 

   Anonymous

   August 28, 2013

   I cant believe I actually resorted to asking this but… I need to know. My Korean guy friend (who is fairly americanized) fed me food the otherday. I’m not used to this…just wondering if its a cultural thing? Also he fed his male friend who isnt Korean but studied in Korea, speaks the lang, had a korean wife and knows the culture well (I dont know korean culture that well). Is this normal for him to feed his female and male friend in public…. I tried google-ing proper korean food etiquette but I couldnt find anything about feeding friends. Where I live two straight men feeding eachother is not the norm, let alone feeing a girl whose competly capabable of doing it on her own (even though its more socially exceptable). I’m not embarrassed by it I’m just more currious then anything and I cant seem to find the right information on it and thats how I found this site haha. So is this a Korean thing or a “him” thing.. Thanks : )

   Reply
   1. 

      Nichola

      August 28, 2013

      Sorry for hijacking this one Oegukeen! Saw it come up and was talking about this with 2 other women married to Korean men just the other night, so thought I’d answer.
      Yes that is quite normal for a Korean to do that. It’s pretty normal to put food into other people’s mouths in Korea. It’s really weird when you first experience it. I’ve had Korean guys and girls – not even close friends – do it to me and I’m uncomfortable all the time, even though it’s supposed to be friendly. One of my friends who has a Korean husband like me, said the first time her husband said “ahhhh” to her to try and put food in her mouth she was like “wtf are you doing?? only doctors say ‘ahh’!”

      So yes, I’d say that’s a Korean thing, not just a him thing. Hope that helps!

      Reply
      1. 

         Anonymous

         August 28, 2013

         Thank you Nichola for getting back so fast, I didnt know if I wrote this question in the right section (since its more about food etiquette), I had trouble navigating through the site to find the right section. It’s been bugging me for weeks since it happend and a few trust worthy friends thought it was kinda strange, so I really needed another more informative third-party-perspective. I’ve known him for years and we are sorta close, but its never happend before.. So when it happend (and it happend more then once that night).. I had enough drink in me I didnt even really care haha, I did notice it but let it slide and got on with the night. But when I sobered up later that part of the night was still on my mind and I thought meh maybe he likes me…, but then remembered he fed his friend too and I thought wtf??!!! Anyways you deff cleared things up for me. Thanks again.. : )

         Reply
         1. 

            oegukeen

            August 28, 2013

            Yes, thank you Nichola for jumping in. And I completely agree with everything you said.

            Moreover, my boyfriend has never put food in my mouth, but when his male friend came over they were constantly doing it to each other. I found it amusing and took a lot of photos. I love how they can be relaxed this way, European guys would be too worried to be labeled as homosexuals.

            Anonymous, I’m curious, why did it bother you so much that he did this?

            P.S. There are no section for questions. All questions go to “ASK US” section.

            Reply
            1. 

               Anonymous

               August 29, 2013

               I’ll try to explain without going into too much detail. I come from a very european family. I feel completely comfortable feeding my family the way my friends did that night. Because I love them I feel comfortable feeding my dad, brother, mother, grandma. Not all the time, but when occasion arises, if I’ve cooked something good or its too messy or they are just to lazy to pick it up themselves haha, not my cousins so much, unless we are very close (not every european family does this I know). To me its a much more loving thing, a comfortable intamate family thing. Since we obvs arnt family but close-ish I wanted to find out culturally if this was something that happend frequently and normally. I’d only ever feed somone socially if he was my long term boyfriend/husband or like i said close family member (even then we usualy do that in our house). I’ll be honest there is a lot more to this story then just the feeding thing. Things I am not willing to disect or investigate on the internet. So whatever it is, or whatever may happen in the future is because we are man and woman, with similar interest and a pleasent friendship plantonically. Not because he is Korean. Having said that though its so funny how we can be friends for so long and live so close but also be worlds apart at the same time. I’d like to thank both of you ladies for taking your time to answer me. Reading back on my comments it sounds like I was more bothered then I really was, it progressed to me actually googling and finding this site after my girlfriends said it was a lil strange and also because of how my family and I view it. I can assure you at this moment you both answered my question to a T. I suppose I could have just asked him but I didnt want him to think I was judging him or his friend.

               from, the over-analyst…

            2. 

               oegukeen

               August 29, 2013

               I really don’t think it’s fair to say we are worlds apart just because of how close we need to feel to someone who we choose to feed. At best it’s a small variation.

               I can see you are interested in maybe dating this guy some day so it is my well-meaning advice when I tell you that you’ll have a much easier time if you don’t grab onto little cultural differences like that. Otherwise you will drive yourself crazy.

               But I think what’s actually going on here is that you want to know how he feels which is the one thing we certainly have in common across all cultures. When you like someone the most important thing in the world is if they like you back which can cause, as you called it well, over-analysis :)

               Just judge his behaviour as you would any European guy. His body-language around you, is he atentive or not, if he keeps eye-contact a bit longer etc. There’s really nothing special that Korean guys do that could make you certain he likes you and that Western guys don’t.

            3. 

               Anonymous

               August 29, 2013

               Its just an over exaggerated figure of speech.. I dont actually think we are worlds apart -ur right slight variations: ) .. I’m not denying that it would be nice to know how he feels one day, but that wasnt my purpose in asking the question in the first place, u asked why I was so bothered so I tried to answer it honestly. Im pretty good at catching on when guys like me. I didnt want to write the whole “likeing bit” on my orginal and second comment cause I didnt want it to be about the analysation of “his true feelings through his food conduct” haha. Like you said theres no “special korean move/thing” he just acts like a normal dude who likes a semi-normal gal (or at least im 70% sure he does). At least now if it happens again I know its pretty innocent. I appericate the input though and i’ll try to be not so over-analytical in this and well other aspects of my life. : )

4. 

   Ino Yamanaka

   August 25, 2013

   Hi. can I have your personal email address? I wanna ask u for an advice but I would want it in private. I may not notice if you reply here. But pls do email me in keihatsuko29@yahoo.com. thanks a lot see u there! :)

   Reply
   1. 

      oegukeen

      August 25, 2013

      You can find all our contact information if you click on the CONTACT tab on top of the page.

      However, as you can see when you go there, we only reply to questions about dating Korean guys in the ASK US section. Otherwise, we would spend all day long answering e-mails and no one would ever know.

      As far as not noticing if we reply here, that’s why you check ‘Notify me of follow-up comments via email.’ once you write out the comment.

      Reply
5. 

   ^_^

   August 21, 2013

   hi! i’m a filipina esl teacher and our company is strict when it comes to professional distance. for more than 3 years i’ve never had a problem with this. (i’m 26 still NBSB) I guess i’m not that interested in entering a relationship yet, just focusing on my career. However, 3 months ago he arrived in the philippines as a student/officer. my first impression to him was he’s not shy. but after our first meeting i never got the chance to talk to him, we’re both probably too busy at work. i actually stay in the dormitory with the students but we rarely see each other. One time, we had a game, kinda like spin the bottle, when his friend asked him who does he like, he answered me! his friend confirmed that he was not lying. A month before his graduation, he returned to korea for an internship interview. he will only stay there for a week. Before leaving, he came to my room and excitedly said that he transferred class and will be my student when he gets back from korea.
   In class, he was very talkative and he never fails to make me laugh. then he invited me to play badminton with him. he said he just wanted to relieve stress. I never really go out with students so i was hesitant at first. but he was really persistent so i finally agreed. after the game he said he wanted to keep in touch with me and he will never change his kakao id forever. anyway, we started chatting, almost everyday.
   Then before he went back to korea, he asked me to go sight seeing with him. for three months, he has only gone to a trip once. other students were planning to go to the beach and other exciting tourist spots , so i suggested that he go with them, but he said he wants to spend time with me. But i’m not really familiar with tourist spots in the phils so we just went to MOA. when we arrived, he bought brownies and a drink. I have the habit of always refusing when someone offers food or drinks. so he explained that in korea, when someone older or your boss offered something, you have to accept it even if you dont want it. Though he’s one year younger than me, he said in “this situation” i should not refuse, (i’m not really sure what he meant) anyway, we shared food sometimes he would buy, sometimes i would pay. then we decided to just sit by the bay. He said before he leaves, he has a final request. He wanted to hug me, i thought there’s nothing wrong with that, teachers and students hug, right? Suddenly he kissed me. I cannot deny that i also like him, actually from the first time i met him, i already felt different. but of course, i love my job and i had to hold back my feelings. so when we went back to the dormitory, i gave him my farewell gift (his favorite mint chocolate and almonds) and a letter. later that night he asked permission if he could read the letter. i just wrote there all of my feelings about him but i didnt directly say that i ‘like’ him. i only said i’m “blessed” to have known. after reading, he sent me kakao msg saying how happy he was and that he was also “blessed” and he wanted to see me one last time. But there were other students in the kitchen so i refused to see him again. he is now in korea. it’s been a week and we’ve been chatting thru kakao almost everyday. He will soon go to China for his internship and im afraid we might lose contact after that. besides, im not really sure about our status, i mean he never really asked me to be his girlfriend and he didnt directly say that he loves me… should i ask him or just wait for him to say it?
   sorry for the very long story…hope you understand ^_^

   Reply
   1. 

      oegukeen

      November 1, 2013

      Kimchi Man was so shy that I believe if I didn’t ask him first he would never, or at least for a very long time, dare to ask me. And he was so happy that I asked him first. He said it was wonderful for him that a woman was so open and honest and not playing any games behind his back.

      But that’s Kimchi Man, it doesn’t mean every Korean guy would feel that way.

      Maybe wait a bit and then tell him. But what about your job? Is it ok now since he’s not your student any more?

      Reply
6. 

   Charlene

   August 11, 2013

   Hello, I feel so happy when I found this website. I also have some issue concerning with a korean man that I’m attracted to in my work. He is a 30 yrs old expatriate working in a multinational company in my country. He is a smart and capable person leading his team very well. Normally, we don’t speak a lot unless necessary for work purposes. But recently, he keeps on teasing me with poker face on something that I said to him before again and again till I feel that sth is not normal in his teasing. Even my collegues noticed about that. I’m not sure whether he is interested in me as a girl or just as normal funny collegue. Our eyes met for a few times before and I thought that it was nothing. Also, I have never seen him teasing any other female colleuges in our office like that before. How can I know that he is interested in me or not? Since I’m asian girl, I feel so shy to consult about that to anyone. I’ll be overjoyed if you could give some advice to me :). Thanks a lot!

   Reply
   1. 

      oegukeen

      November 1, 2013

      Well, Koreans like anyone else show it the usual way. Body language, way of talking, etc.

      It’s really difficult to tell without seeing him interact with you, and maybe even then.

      Since it’s been a long time since you’ve posted this you probably already found out anyway, sorry ^^

      Reply

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